Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 67 Days and 78029 Haiku later...
Rock bands should not preach.
They just need to do their art.
It doesn't age well.
Haiku # 72848 October 20, 2021 4:50 am ET
by Strum Strum of It Ain't Mozart
I love their record
With dub-master Mikey Dread
Called 'Black Market Clash'
Haiku # 72847 October 20, 2021 4:46 am ET
by Bank Robber of Armagideon Time
Used to like the Clash.
But now Joe's voice makes me cringe.
A few songs still good...
Haiku # 72846 October 20, 2021 4:40 am ET
by The preachy Leftism gets dull...
https://torgovaya.xyz/kley-svarka
Клей-сварка Алмаз
Клей-сварка по японской технологии: крепеж, герметик, "холодная сварка"!
Двухкомпонентный клей скрепляет любые поверхности: металл, камень, пластик и др.
Затвердевает так, что не стирается, не режется, абсолютно водонепроницаемый, ремонтирует любую поломку, скол или трещину.
https://torgovaya.xyz/kley-svarka клей-сварка 8kv
Haiku # 72845 October 20, 2021 1:06 am ET
by Rybickijqyw of Russia
Which one would you fuck?
2 day old, stale baguette bread
Everything bagel
Haiku # 72844 October 19, 2021 11:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Never robbed a bank
bank error in my favor
100 dollars

Noticed it later
She gave my dog a biscuit
in the drive thru tube
Haiku # 72843 October 19, 2021 11:33 pm ET
by Noticer of $$$ (eventually)
It wasn't an axe
It was with a Gurkah knife
That ain't much better
Haiku # 72842 October 19, 2021 11:26 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Never murdered anyone
but I worked for someone who
was axe murdered. Truth.
Haiku # 72841 October 19, 2021 11:23 pm ET
by Starkitten
Clash. Sandinista
One of my favorite albums
I bet you like it
Haiku # 72840 October 19, 2021 11:13 pm ET
by Sk
12 hours ahead.
But 200 years behind.
You have to see it.
Haiku # 72839 October 19, 2021 10:44 pm ET
by Soon I will get out.
What time is it there?
It's like talking with someone
who's from the future
Haiku # 72838 October 19, 2021 8:42 pm ET
by Starkitten of Tuesday
When you're all alone
solving those math equations.
Mathturbation?
Haiku # 72837 October 19, 2021 8:39 pm ET
by Noticer of How's your eyesight?
Fusion energy.
With enough beans it might work.
Intense compression.
Haiku # 72836 October 19, 2021 8:36 pm ET
by 2 H-1 ==> He of Flatus does have a bit of H2 gas in it.
I'm no scientist
but if I reverse the charge
your plan might backfire
Haiku # 72835 October 19, 2021 8:28 pm ET
by Phone of in the bathroom
If you want fart calls,
I will accommodate you.
It doesn't cost much.
Haiku # 72834 October 19, 2021 8:09 pm ET
by $2.99 per minute. of 1-800-HOT-TOOT
Yes, I despise Alf
If I give you my number
will your fart call me?
Haiku # 72833 October 19, 2021 7:47 pm ET
by Sk
Medicinal crack.
Prevents getting stressful jobs.
It's my brain, my choice!
Haiku # 72832 October 19, 2021 7:34 pm ET
by blahblahblahblahblahblah
Chihuahuas are weird.
Eyes look different directions.
Snort like little pigs.
Haiku # 72831 October 19, 2021 7:30 pm ET
by Feed them to crocodiles!
Murdered anyone?
Have you ever robbed a bank?
Made a prank phone call?
Haiku # 72830 October 19, 2021 7:28 pm ET
by My friends and I used to call people and play a recording of our farts and ask them to rate it on a scale of 1 to 10.
Okay, I must ask:
How many cats do you have?
And do you hate Alf?
Haiku # 72829 October 19, 2021 7:09 pm ET
by I know you do.
Have you ever seen
conjoined twin dyslexia
South Park episode.
Haiku # 72828 October 19, 2021 6:57 pm ET
by It's a classic!
I'll be on the porch
I may try to get you high
by remote catnip
Haiku # 72827 October 19, 2021 1:50 pm ET
by Let me know if you feel it of Suggest some tunes
I'm a defective
I just pick up things sometimes
Not a detective
Haiku # 72826 October 19, 2021 1:40 pm ET
by Starkitten
I'll eat cereal
with my headless conjoined twin.
Fucking holidays.
Haiku # 72825 October 19, 2021 1:17 pm ET
by Noticer of Suicidal ideation
I miss Thanksgiving.
Grandparents, uncles, cousins.
Good homecooked dinner.
Haiku # 72824 October 19, 2021 12:10 pm ET
by Johnny, don't play with yourself under the table cloth!
You are so stupid.
All holidays are plastic.
Nothing more is "real".
Haiku # 72823 October 19, 2021 12:07 pm ET
by Plastic bought with plastic by plastic people. of Death to America! Jihad! Jihad!
You know me too well.
I don't really mind, of course.
Who do you work for?

Government agent?
Private investigator?
Pervert revenge squad?

Do your worst, my dear.
These days I just yearn for death.
Too long in this world.

Cyanide capsule for emergencies.

Can't wait to go back to Thailand. Good food and anything I would do seems half-way normal compared to the outright debauchery and decadence in that crazy place. And not locked in by ocean.
I would love to see the deep jungle. Wild tigers and giant snakes. I might make a good snack.
Haiku # 72822 October 19, 2021 12:06 pm ET
by Darth Go Ahead and Jump! of JUMP!
Dancing with Grandma.
Lot of work digging her up.
We shared some whiskey.

Can the dead trip balls?
I laced her drink with acid.
We will soon find out.
Haiku # 72821 October 19, 2021 11:56 am ET
by Funky familial fiestas.
Customer service?
Found a hair in my candies
Oompa Loompa pubes!
Haiku # 72820 October 19, 2021 11:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
It's a lot of work
Inserting a razor blade
in every apple
Haiku # 72819 October 19, 2021 11:43 am ET
by Busy
I pick Black Sabbath.
Their music is biblical.
The Lord likes that band.
Haiku # 72818 October 19, 2021 11:31 am ET
by War Pigs of Prophecy
Halloween is shit.
Typical U.S. blowout:
Plastic and sugar.
Haiku # 72817 October 19, 2021 11:29 am ET
by Hypoglycemia of Made in China
I tried Thorazine
It was back in the 80's...
It made my brain crawl.
Haiku # 72816 October 19, 2021 11:26 am ET
by It Was Not Prescribed of Not Fun
The one that we pick
is your Halloween costume?
I pick Van Halen

High on Wonka bars
wearing a Pink Floyd t-shirt
It's Darthula Roth!

Doing the backflip
Scaring old people at mall
The obvious choice
Haiku # 72815 October 19, 2021 10:50 am ET
by Noticer of Rocktober Surprise
Pick one:
Ozzy Osbourne
Motley Crue
Van Halen (with David Lee)
Led Zepplin
Pink Floyd
Haiku # 72814 October 19, 2021 8:24 am ET
by This is NOT a test.
God hates all poets.
Not just the ones who write here.
Yes, even Shakespere.
Haiku # 72813 October 19, 2021 8:21 am ET
by He told me this. of Then kicked me in the balls. God is vengeful.
Had too much to drink.
Ate balot with vinegar.
Barfed up duck fetus.

Now I'm one of them.
Next week we do human flesh.
Maybe Halloween.

Cannabalism,
mushrooms and lots of good rum.
Life gets no better.
Haiku # 72812 October 19, 2021 8:13 am ET
by At least it's not meth!
A clean asylum.
Sanitary sanity.
Nurse Ratchet's undies.
Haiku # 72811 October 19, 2021 6:18 am ET
by Here, have some thorazine. of Excellent vintage.
Ladies' room trashcan.
Unsanitary napkins.
Vampire tea bags.
Haiku # 72810 October 19, 2021 5:34 am ET
by You are NOT the father.
Sale! Bad Haiku Merch
Signed Figpucker coffee mug
Unsanitary!
Haiku # 72809 October 19, 2021 1:30 am ET
by Noticer of Side Hustle
He wrote things backwards
Leonardo Da Vinci
!! SKCUS OIRPACID
Haiku # 72808 October 18, 2021 11:28 pm ET
by Bass of Ackwards
I just looked into
Gizzards of cassowaries
A dangerous bird
Haiku # 72807 October 18, 2021 7:42 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The gizzard, also referred to as the ventriculus, gastric mill, and gigerium, is an organ found in the digestive tract of some animals, including archosaurs (pterosaurs, crocodiles, alligators, dinosaurs including birds), earthworms, some gastropods, some fish, and some crustaceans. This specialized stomach constructed of thick muscular walls is used for grinding up food, often aided by particles of stone or grit. In certain insects and molluscs, the gizzard features chitinous plates or teeth.
Haiku # 72806 October 18, 2021 4:44 pm ET
by Are you happy. of Wickedpedia
The Bible needs more.
Oh so many modern sins.
Hawaiian pizza!
Haiku # 72805 October 18, 2021 4:41 pm ET
by Is there a level of hell deep enough for Hawaiian pizza?
Jesus loves us all.
Even if we write haiku.
One amazing guy.
Haiku # 72804 October 18, 2021 4:39 pm ET
by Isn't that something!
I heard a buzzing.
It's a giant mosquito!
No, Mary Poppins.
Haiku # 72803 October 18, 2021 4:37 pm ET
by I bet Leonardo never thought of that flight method. of ... or did he?
Yuppy women say,
"I think I'll do a latte."
I'd like to see that.

One way to get wet.
Minor emergency burns.
Those urban legends.
Haiku # 72802 October 18, 2021 4:34 pm ET
by Vinte Grande Vagine of Cavernous caffeine chaos.
Mary Poppins twat
The flapping makes her fly
over the rooftops
Haiku # 72801 October 18, 2021 3:39 pm ET
by Chimney sweep of Now stuck in chimney with an unfortunate boner
Thirty years ago
I worked for a bakery
Now I just get baked
Haiku # 72800 October 18, 2021 3:34 pm ET
by Gatita estrella
I don't "do" donuts.
Tried it once, it's too sticky.
Croissants, however...
Haiku # 72799 October 18, 2021 1:40 pm ET
by Butter 'em up!
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