Haiku Truth or Dare
Figpucker, you can go first
Who else is playing?

A fly in your soup
A hair in the furburger
Customer Service

god gave men one dink
star trek gave klingons two dinks
yahweh, move over

here's advice from bots
on how we should write haiku.
for now, we are safe

"Your haiku should be three syllables and six syllables, then three, and six. The rest should be five syllables and four, and then seven, and then five and six"

God so loved the world
He didn't give men 2 dinks
Nor 4 itchy balls

I am fucking drunk.
And I fucked a rabid skunk.
I like Motown funk.

All is one is all.
My name is Susan or Paul.
Gender neutral stall.

My poem is yours.
We have walked through many doors.
And banged many whores.

A nip in the air
Summer's gone, so bring it on
Cunnilingus Time

My new invention
Inside your pants camera
Upload your next load

This will blow your mind
Noticer is Starkitten
Is Starkitten Darth?

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Double dink date night
You can poke me anywhere
Flat dink? Got a spare!

there's a reddit page
where you can ask bots questions
i've asked for haiku

She's a sexy worm.
Hermaphrodite from Thailand.
Double your pleasure.

Tom Bosley's shit jizz
octopus dink Darth Darth Darth.
Fire side chat hearth.

Seven cups today.
"Up, up, and away!" they say.
Thank God I'm not gay.

I hate good coffee.
I am unable to sleep.
... Maybe one more cup.

At least it's not meth.
The prostiture's name is Beth.
Five years, then AIDS death.

Golf fascinates me.
How perfectly dull it is.
Hungry bears might help.

When I write of poo,
You multiply it by two.
That is all you do.

I write the word "shit"
So then you must double it.
... You should pop that zit.

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As an algorithm
You are very redundant.
Like a shit-chatbot.

Octopustober
raking the leaves with eight rakes
shitting in the pile

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Jizz stains in carpet
For sale: Genuine bearskin
rug with dink attached

When rug hibernates
You'll just have to masturbate
with a trophy moose

Say, did you notice?
one of those Persian flatworms
looked like Tom Bosley

I watched it!

A Persian carpet
sprouting two sharp penises
and doing battle.

The popcorn container
Watch for that on the first date
Hole in the bottom

When on a first date,
did you ever fart loudly
and blame it on him?

That is life's purpose.
It's not to make Earth better.
It entertains God.

Life is horrible
Especially for that man
Standing over there

My, you've been busy,
you prophalactic poet.
Leaky latex load.

One giant clown shoe
by special delivery
Addressed to your dink

Even more bad luck
He lost the end of his schlong
A bad case of mange

It's all your fault
Leaving the toilet seat up
You and your germ farm

Here lies the body
of the old haiku dog man
Rabies of the dink

The corpses jerk off
Horny skeletons beat off
Do the Thriller dance

Couldn't remember
When was the last time I shit?
Was it tubular?

What did it smell like?
Did it clog up the toilet?
A public viewing?

My, that's a big one
How do you even manage?
Does it bite, mister?

He walked with a limp
Four hundred pounds of pants snake
Coiled up and hissing

Tremendous schlong
Dragged along in a wagon
It won't fit in pants


He made this mistake
Disguised it as a dragon
People tried to touch

The dragon got mean
Spit in an old ladies' eye
Now no one likes us

Then, it spits at them

Poor strange little Darth,
always talking about poop.
Mind like a toilet.

customer service
to the schlong department, please
Foot measuring tool

Like shopping for shoes
But this time stick your dink in
What size do you have?

People wonder why
headstones topple over, right?
The corpses jerk off!

I know when he poops
it comes out like lava cake
Molten hot center

When you get down there
After writing these haiku
Get yourself a slice

Wash it down with milk
(no one tells you it's semen)
You won't shit for months

One of you might know
Does the Devil masturbate?
Is his semen hot?

And then God spoketh
Get with thine program, Losers!
This ain't a free ride

The bowel movement
of spaceman William Shatner
Orbiting the earth

Autumn tootsie roll
comes with last night's dinner corn
It's the captain's log

When Chachi's busy
Don't get into a tizzy
Hop on Bosley's knob

Clem! Hey Uncle Clem!
They done digged up Tom Bosley
From Figpucker's farm

Who is Tom Bosley?
Why is it that his pen is
Mightier than the sword?