The popcorn container
Watch for that on the first date
Hole in the bottom
by Stains of Butter?
When on a first date,
did you ever fart loudly
and blame it on him?
by Be honest, ladies!
That is life's purpose.
It's not to make Earth better.
It entertains God.
by Kind of like when you watch the losers on Maury or maybe of course those dying kids in Ethiopia. Watchng them on the couch with gourmet ice cream and BBQ potato chips.
Life is horrible
Especially for that man
Standing over there
by you don’t really need to know do you of A place on Earth
My, you've been busy,
you prophalactic poet.
Leaky latex load.
by Next time double wrap.
One giant clown shoe
by special delivery
Addressed to your dink
by bozo
Even more bad luck
He lost the end of his schlong
A bad case of mange
It's all your fault
Leaving the toilet seat up
You and your germ farm
by Disgusted
Here lies the body
of the old haiku dog man
Rabies of the dink
by Foam of Mouth
The corpses jerk off
Horny skeletons beat off
Do the Thriller dance
by High Pitch of Nervous laughter
Couldn't remember
When was the last time I shit?
Was it tubular?
What did it smell like?
Did it clog up the toilet?
A public viewing?
by Milk of Amnesia
My, that's a big one
How do you even manage?
Does it bite, mister?
by Rabies of Dink
He walked with a limp
Four hundred pounds of pants snake
Coiled up and hissing
by Reo Peenwagon
Tremendous schlong
Dragged along in a wagon
It won't fit in pants
He made this mistake
Disguised it as a dragon
People tried to touch
The dragon got mean
Spit in an old ladies' eye
Now no one likes us
Then, it spits at them
by Wagon Dragger
Poor strange little Darth,
always talking about poop.
Mind like a toilet.
by Flush it Down of Your Soul
customer service
to the schlong department, please
Foot measuring tool
Like shopping for shoes
But this time stick your dink in
What size do you have?
by Smell of Your Feet
People wonder why
headstones topple over, right?
The corpses jerk off!
by Rob Graves of They don't care if they go blind or get a hairy palm
I know when he poops
it comes out like lava cake
Molten hot center
When you get down there
After writing these haiku
Get yourself a slice
Wash it down with milk
(no one tells you it's semen)
You won't shit for months
by Anonymous Poet
One of you might know
Does the Devil masturbate?
Is his semen hot?
by Anonymous Poet
And then God spoketh
Get with thine program, Losers!
This ain't a free ride
by Methheadthusela
The bowel movement
of spaceman William Shatner
Orbiting the earth
Autumn tootsie roll
comes with last night's dinner corn
It's the captain's log
by Anonymous Poet
When Chachi's busy
Don't get into a tizzy
Hop on Bosley's knob
by Goo of Gob
Clem! Hey Uncle Clem!
They done digged up Tom Bosley
From Figpucker's farm
by Appalachian Gothic of 1939
Who is Tom Bosley?
Why is it that his pen is
Mightier than the sword?
by Bosley Defamation Squad of Under the Pigsty
Breaking haiku news
Starkitten has been cuntnapped
She needs your help now
by Anonymous Poet
Facing front or back
when I bow down to the schlong?
Which does he prefer?
How did you ever get started on this topic? Did you read something about it somewhere? I would really like to know. I guess it's a celeb thing to publicly (pubicly?) announce your genital's details.
Do you have pics? A Playboy interview? What was it that set you off down this strange poetic venture?
by We need answers now!
Okay I will stop
Only if you bow down to
Tom Bosley's penis
by Tom Bosley's uterus
Jesus spoke pirate?
Ye not be jokin', are ye?
Well, he blood is wine.
Why can't Jesus drive?
High blood alcohol content.
But he sure could surf.
by Avast, ye maties! Shiver me timbers! Fetch me some grog! of Well, why not. Abraham Lincoln killed vampires.
Just be ye perfect.
Like your heavenly father.
That's what Jesus said.
by Impossibility of Perfection
Shatner made it back.
Talking about blue then black.
Tears he did not lack.
by Down there, the mother. of Or something.
Please beat your children.
They may turn out just like me.
Perfect in all ways.
by This message brought to you by DHS.
God I want egg nog.
Rum and egg nog enema.
Nutmeg overdose.
by Jesus died on the cross so you could drink egg nog.
My mind is ugly.
Tortured, inconsolable.
Filled with vile loathing.
by All because of Christmas music.
Whose schlong is bigger,
Bill Shatner or Tom Bosley?
The age old question.
by My dog's bigger than your dog! My dog's bigger than yours!
Well, I did seek help.
After Tom Bosley raped me.
My asshole's now huge!
I went to see a
practical proctologist.
He said it's hopeless.
He just looked and said,
"You'll never poop normally
again in your life."
Now I work side shows.
Man with the walk-in anus.
Come see the polyps!
by $5 entrance fee. of Guaranteed to be amazed!
That old Tom Boseley.
He did a number on you,
poor strange little Darth.
by Seek Help Immediately
I am not a troll
But then what am I? I am.....
TOM BOSLEY'S PENIS
by Don't care if you don't like it
I am just a troll.
I suppose that's all I am.
But then, what are you?
by That's the real question. of Think on it.
If you fart loudly
on the Jerry Springer show,
ratings will go up.
by There's a mathematical formula for this.
https://www.tinypenis.com/XY38z5896
by
Проиграли деньги в казино?
Мы поможем их вернуть! Обращайтесь.
https://tinyurl.com/36djxnj7
by Georgesomia of Ireland
I don't like TV.
I never want to own one.
They should all be burned.
by Truth!
Downloading bootlegs.
Have you seen Star Wars Visions?
I can't help but cringe.
by It just seems... weird.
If I had a buck
for every haiku I write,
I would still be poor.
by In all ways that count. of There's that c-word again.
I'll break that mirror.
Pretend I'm on a mission.
Not just finding cheese.
by A puckered lips now. of Charlie don't surf.
Oh fucking hell yes!
Who the hell needs blueberries?
Coffee from Benguet.
by How the eff does the coffee roaster bring out those berry notes. Amazing!
And for my next trick.
I will visit Africa.
Bring back ebola.
by Rum and Coke-a-Cola.
Orange Tang with sugar.
Not that fucking Sucralose.
Back in the real world.
by You don't know how lucky you are.
The ceiling fan spins.
No memories of Hueys.
I am not that old.
by But almost.
Tom Bosley's penis.
All that comes out of your mouth.
And into your mouth.
But where do you get your info about it??? Some obscure sleazy tabloid archives? Maybe you slept with him once. He ruined you for all other men.
Anyway, I guess you could have worse addictions. Like trying on kids underwear in the dressing room at WalMart, and leaving them there with your skid marks in them, among other things. But I guess you're not from Connersville, Indiana. Are you?
by Let's move on, shall we? of Talk about something else... William Shatner maybe?
You keep asking things.
Are you collecting data?
Getting evidence?
by I'll be dead by then I expect. of At least I'm hoping.
