One saw a beaver
We both looked at her pussy
One saw rare roast beef
by Terrence Trenchmouth D'Arby's
He lured them in there
Teasing them with his bald head
They worked with no break
Both down on their knees
Heads bobbing in unison
Scrubbing the tile floor
by Noticer of Details
Peeing in public
Everyone hear your tinkle
Like rain on tin roof
Pooping in public
Everyone hear your thunder
God's Bowling Alley
Screwing in public
Everyone hear your girlfriend
say, Is it in yet?
by Noticer Public
There were three sisters
They all had their periods
and only one tampon
by Riddler
It's a new day (yawn).
Let the haiku get worse now.
God is on His throne.
by God Hates Haiku of Course.
Less syllable please
That is all we are asking
Consider others
by Noticer of Paragraphs
Pretty boy moaning
In your dreaming fitful sleep
And inside my pants
by Minivandestroyer of Germany
Pretty boy moaning
In your dreaming fitful sleep
And inside my pants
by Minivandestroyer of Germany
What do you expect?
When you threw her down the stairs
what were you thinking?
I mean..
Kori did tell everyone
how small your dink is
by Overheard
All New Darth Manson
Followed by Haiku Skelter
Figpucker Channel
by Brought to you by Cheez Balls a division of M cannibal's
Darth is writing these
Always has tricks up his sleeves
Praise the Dark Lord
by Darth is Love
Ya goddamn faggot.
Get the hell off my site NOW.
Or else post haiku.
by Cut and Paste Bots are Dull of DEATHLY DULLSVILLE
Did you take Sex Ed?
Women don't take Viagra
Darth... Talk, no Action
by Noticer of Darth's Cherry
My wife makes fried cheese.
It's a Latin thing. Tasty.
Queso frito, mmmm.
by OK Run With It Darth
I will bear your child,
and birth the fruit of our love
while in the bathroom.
by Excremeditation of Haiku Buttsplit
I would cut your cheese
and even grill your sandwich,
though I'm not worthy.
by Chevalier Fondue de Raclette of Cheese and Chivalry
You are Limburger,
aged Asiago and warm Brie
and Velveeta too.
by Rennet Mold of Curdling Process
Oh Darth, you're the cheese!
The most fragrant rarest cheese.
(Spread on a cracker.)
by Stoned Wheat Thins of Roquefort Stilton
Oh Darth, handsome Darth:
Come to my arms, gentle prince.
First, wipe the shit off . . .
by My Secret Haiku Love of Shit-smeared Prince
My haiku will reign.
Mother of all haiku: mine.
Wait -- what IS haiku?
by Haikai of Wrong Guy
Eleven haiku
and not one mention of "Darth"
or my love of cheese.
I am proud of you.
Your obsession is waning.
Viagra ran out?
by Darth Figpucker
Syllabic heaven:
the celestial formula
equals seventeen.
by That magazine with girls in it of 1979
Kanagawa hai!
Shizuoka Saitama
Okayama-san.
by Prefect of PREFECTURES
The rising sun wins!
Rising sun has smoked your ass,
unpoetic ape.
by Red Rays of RISING SUN
Crystal Meth and thou:
Sha-mi-sen, koto music
My white-face geisha . . .
by Meth Session with Imperial Concubine of Shhhhhh Don't Wake Shogun
Ha ha: dick in ass . . .
Stupid gaijin butt-monkey:
You put in wrong place.
by Long Race of Wong Prace
Cloud-pearls on Fuji . . .
Swaying bamboo grove of dusk . . .
Time to snort crystal!
by Hillbilly Meth-freak Orientalist of Fukuoka Prefecture
Hey thar uncle Clem:
kin you git these Chinamen
offen muh front porch?
by Incomprehension of Appalachia
Samurai haiku:
Carp singing in cherry tree...
paradise was gained.
by Post-seppuku Bliss of Imperial Shogun Haiku Guard
Commit sepukku:
Stick the haiku in and twist.
That's REAL poetry.
by Honorable Discharge of Disembowelment By Syllable
You stupid gaijin,
You can't even write haiku;
Smelly white monkey.
by Hail Divine Emperor Hirohito of Plastic Noodle Replica
You prose invaders
will soon feel Haiku’s full wrath.
Haiku does not run.
by Haiku Defense Force of Divine Wind of Rising Sun
When Angie got home
She found someone left a hint
A Summer's Eve douche
by Paid Advertisement
I know who it was
Patrick Swayze's ghost intrudes
Molds your dink like clay
Brought it on yourself
He watched you dirty dancing
at the Jollibee
by If you don't want to attract ghosts of Tone it down
Not a restful sleep
Sleep number is sixty nine.
even during naps
by Purring of Downstairs Kitty
It was her moment
They were all hot for Teacher
She fingered her slit
by Noticer of Details
He had been depressed
but she ignored the signals
and kept racewalking
by Brenda L. of Camden, NJ
Brenda's sad haiku:
Menopausal sister's screams...
sterile suicide.
by See, I haikuized It 4 U of Camden Haiku Support
Hot car mechanic
Slid out from under my car
with a huge boner
by Just now of Midas
ATTENTION ! Haiku.
We make haiku in this place.
Less syllable please.
by Dog-Faced Nazi Woman Guard of Buchenwald
What about space head?
Will your spooje just float along?
Space dinks always hard?
by You must know if you drink Tang
I've a yin for yen
yang poon Tang orange breakfast drink
think pink stink skate rink.
by I wholeheartedly concur!
I bought a dildo.
I thought you would enjoy it.
But you just want cake.
by Marie Antoinette's ghost.
I feel important
Never been an apprentice
I feel like boasting
by Apprentice of The Dark Lord
You will not act like
Evil Dark Lord Figpucker.
There can be just one!
by But you can be the apprentice.
It should be legal
To cook and eat your children
if they are naughty.
Or the neighbors' kids.
Or just kids in general.
Now I am hungry.
by The Wicked Witch of the West. of And your little dog too!
The fecal transplant
What if it makes me act like
that Darth Figpucker?
by Worried
You could very well
have health issues if your farts
have a bad odor.
Perhaps you need a
fecal transplant to restore
intestinal health.
I'll be your donor.
Tell your friends and family
that I gave you shit.
by Har har har.
Just one more question
Does fart smell indicate health?
How are you alive?
by Someone of Barely breathing
Flatulence is art.
When compared to these haiku.
Just to clear the air.
by There should be a fart museum. of Recordings, high fiber foods, smell emulators, skid marked undies, decibal meters, seismographs, etc.
