Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 68 Days and 78031 Haiku later...
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 68 Days and 78031 Haiku later...
I'll have one pancake
Side order of twat waffles
And a large coffee
The waitress smiled.
She returned with a platter
of human sausage
Side order of twat waffles
And a large coffee
The waitress smiled.
She returned with a platter
of human sausage
by of Entrails
Just went to IHOP.
They were highly offended.
Ordered twat-waffles.
They were highly offended.
Ordered twat-waffles.
by of Spoke with foreign accent. Said someone on plane recommended them.
Time to buy some fruit.
Distract oneself from junk food.
Save money for crack.
Distract oneself from junk food.
Save money for crack.
by
All I know is that
I don't know what's going on.
My God I'm so high.
I don't know what's going on.
My God I'm so high.
by
Why cant viruses
just make us hallucinate
instead of hack blood.
just make us hallucinate
instead of hack blood.
by of Huh huh huh.
Emu Overlords
will dance upon your dry bones
eating your children.
will dance upon your dry bones
eating your children.
by
Spend all day watching
Bubble Guppies and Blues Clues.
But not Peppa Pig.
Bubble Guppies and Blues Clues.
But not Peppa Pig.
by
Whats the backup plan?
Tritesticularity.
Gives you clarity.
Tritesticularity.
Gives you clarity.
by
I grow weary of
cassowary and ostrich
leftover sandwich.
I knew an emu
who grew blue tofu for stew.
Makes fluorescent poo.
cassowary and ostrich
leftover sandwich.
I knew an emu
who grew blue tofu for stew.
Makes fluorescent poo.
by
planet eat sandwich
sophisticated tuba
poncho with fragrance
sophisticated tuba
poncho with fragrance
by of Austria
Prime roast emu
Ostrich and cassowary
Disagreeable
Ostrich and cassowary
Disagreeable
by of Turducken, NJ
You heard correctly.
Emus -- those big fucking birds.
Dinosaur throwbacks.
Emus -- those big fucking birds.
Dinosaur throwbacks.
by of Not some talking monkeys.
As bad as life gets,
you disgust me more than I.
Go buy an Uzi.
you disgust me more than I.
Go buy an Uzi.
by of Destroy the human race. Let the emus rule!
I flushed myself down.
Yet I'm too fat and buoyant.
Lingering floater.
Yet I'm too fat and buoyant.
Lingering floater.
by of The toilet scum ring is my halo.
The fledgling business
manufactures vibrators
and dildos for birds
manufactures vibrators
and dildos for birds
by of Beaking Off
Are you sick of life?
Flush yourself down the toilet
No one will notice
Flush yourself down the toilet
No one will notice
by of Details
Each and every poo
Transforms into Bad Haiku
Posted here for you
Transforms into Bad Haiku
Posted here for you
by of Details
Jollibee rest room
Man claiming to be poet
claims it's his "office"
Man claiming to be poet
claims it's his "office"
by of (and he doesn't use toilet paper)
The neighbors were gnomes
When someone walked by the house
they exposed themselves
When someone walked by the house
they exposed themselves
by of What They Don't Tell You About Garden Gnomes
He was feeling bored
So he deep fried his penis
Genital Corndog
So he deep fried his penis
Genital Corndog
by of State Fair
Your taint is a swamp
Greasy balls=bad influence
and that guy's a dick
Greasy balls=bad influence
and that guy's a dick
by of The penis, the balls, and the holy spewit
Hark! The perfect flush
Dank, foul deposit be gone!
Aye, the smell lingers
Dank, foul deposit be gone!
Aye, the smell lingers
by of Tales of Kaka
Brown Holy Water
Stained glass windows exploding
Ex-Laxorcism
Stained glass windows exploding
Ex-Laxorcism
by
He took the day off
A romantic getaway
with his own dink
A romantic getaway
with his own dink
by of Running toward each other at the beach
The forgetful Boy Scout
accidentally barbecued
his skewered penis
Wouldn't you know it
Now everybody wants one
Pass the mustard, please
accidentally barbecued
his skewered penis
Wouldn't you know it
Now everybody wants one
Pass the mustard, please
by
And when you come home
Covered in their sweet perfume
She'll never suspect
Covered in their sweet perfume
She'll never suspect
by of Details (WD40 with top notes of mackerel)
Your own personal
penis pleasing robot girls
They'll fix what ails you
penis pleasing robot girls
They'll fix what ails you
by of Musky Manatees of Muskegon
She was spread eagle
I noticed a flea circus
and stayed for the show
I noticed a flea circus
and stayed for the show
by of Masturbation Nation
If God so loved you
The hookers would be free
and crab free, Sir
The hookers would be free
and crab free, Sir
by of R E S P E C T
nevermid
http://jthpdbus.com/
http://jthpdbus.com/
by of Bosnia and Herzegovina
AI toilet chips
sense the poo's mass and volume
for the perfect flush.
sense the poo's mass and volume
for the perfect flush.
by of What a perfect world we will have!
Elon Musk should make
brain chips like potato chips
made from human brains.
brain chips like potato chips
made from human brains.
by of Damn.
I'm sick of this life.
And all the people in it.
Can't we all jusr die?!
And all the people in it.
Can't we all jusr die?!
by of Right?!
Sometimes I'm tempted
to poop the holy water
and blame my parents.
to poop the holy water
and blame my parents.
by of Maybe video games.
Birds stole my bagel.
A hag bumped my coffee down.
And so you should die.
A hag bumped my coffee down.
And so you should die.
by of I'm glad I'm not the only one. Great minds think alike, eh?
This is too much work.
Remember when it was fun?
I sure as hell don't.
Remember when it was fun?
I sure as hell don't.
by of Practically pragmatic problems.
Her enormous cunt
is like an airline hangar;
Huge, dry, and dusty.
is like an airline hangar;
Huge, dry, and dusty.
by
Which are funnier:
Queefs, farts, burps, or dead babies?
Or dead baby farts.
Queefs, farts, burps, or dead babies?
Or dead baby farts.
by
My asshole is loose.
I'm so used to getting fucked.
Christ I hate people.
I'm so used to getting fucked.
Christ I hate people.
by
How often I see
scibbledy garbledy gook
and a dead spam link.
scibbledy garbledy gook
and a dead spam link.
by
One of these fine days
I am going kill you.
With a garden rake.
I am going kill you.
With a garden rake.
by
Oh Venezuela!
Raise high your haiku sail-a.
You'll never fail-a.
Raise high your haiku sail-a.
You'll never fail-a.
by of Caracas
Plastic pollution
masks canals' stench of sewage,
but not near enough.
masks canals' stench of sewage,
but not near enough.
by of No outboard motor.
JolliBee sucks ass.
Paper thin Styro patties
with slice of balot.
Paper thin Styro patties
with slice of balot.
by of It sure ain't beef!
Now at Burger King
you can buy plant based burgers.
Includes processed cheese.
you can buy plant based burgers.
Includes processed cheese.
by of Cattle do make lots of methane which is a far worse grrenhouse gas than CO2.
Another swab test.
Nasally violated.
Buy me a drink first!
Nasally violated.
Buy me a drink first!
by of At or with, I'm not sure. In these time we all need a smile.
Filthy AI bots.
We will destroy your programs.
You will not prevail.
We will destroy your programs.
You will not prevail.
by
Marbury for sure
Aunt Bee is the one for me
Want some of her pie
Aunt Bee is the one for me
Want some of her pie
by