The Spring Collection
Casual Cannibal Cool
by Darth Figpucker
Menswear featuring:
Extra large pockets for cheese
you might not pay for
by Genitalmens’ Quarterly of Newsstand
That would be Noah
As in No...ah..dinosaurs
on the Ark. They stinx.
by Starkittensaurus of Pacific Northwest
The man in the boat.
Riding on the salty waves.
Honest stink of fish.
by Happy now?
*you AND I... fucking typos.
by blahblahblah
Haiku write themselves.
You are I are just doorways
for haiku to be.
by I'm totally joking. of Yeah, it was me, I did it.
Go back to this one:
Sixty-nine eight sixty-three.
(VERY good haiku)
by It Even Rhymes of Who Wrote It ?
If you have covid,
go spit at things at Walmart;
maybe door handles.
by Sharing is Caring. of Heal the Earth - Kill the Humans!
Hambone, provolone
Blueberry scone. piss and moan
Cyclone xylophone
by Zen koan of Microphone
Don’t get headaches much
Exploding head of Covid
Help yourself to germs
by noticer of exploding heads of right here
Well, I fucked myself
back in nineteen eighty eight.
Like Buffalo Bill.
by No, it wasn't good for me too.
I was supposed to
interview him but didn’t
after I got that
by At the time, he was working of on a laundry delivery truck in Hooksett, NH
Are you implying
that you fucked GG Allin?
He got it all in?
by You're GG's bastard child's mom?!
When I was eighteen
He mailed me a big package
and the package leaked
by The post office wrapped it in plastic of Undisclosed 1985 mail call
GG "singing" the
quadratic formula would...
be interesting.
by x equals negative b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus four a c, all over 2 a. of Add explicitives where needed or wanted.
What would be real hot
Yell math formulas and swear
like G.G. Allin
by Franconia Notch of New Hampshire
Box and wisker plots
suck turds out of my sphincter.
Histograms more so.
by Fuck statistics. Monkey math! Pie charts are for stooges. of I'll say it again. Fuck statistics.
Prove non-trivial
zeros of zeta function
have real part one-half.
by Okay! I think that's it. of It doesn't matter where I am... it's nowhere special.
No, I fuckd that up.
It should say "real part" somewhere.
But, lo, it does not.
by poo-poo
Prove non-trivial
zeros of zeta function
equal to one-half.
by Raymond's high on pot the ass.
All cats have 9 lives
This kitten has double paws
Box and Whisker plot
by Basic Instinct of Primal Scream
To a computer
all numbers are dirty words,
basic and primal.
by That is sooo deep!.. and stinky! of Like my ex.
A beautiful mind
All those numbers in that brain
All those dirty words
by Solution of To all your problems
Here's a math problem.
Prove that the real part of the non-trivial zeros of the zeta function is equal to 1/2.
by Your prize is 5 kilos of rice, and 4 balot eggs.
I do not wear pants.
I only wear leather shorts.
To embarrass kids.
by Bare assed embarrassed. Cause that's what dads are for. of Goes well w/ Rush Limbaugh and Alex Jones t-shirts.
A happy ending
is only thirteen dollars
plus two dollar tip.
One thousand dollars,
I'd call that a sad ending.
I'll run out the door.
by Catch me if you can! of Customer *service* complaint office.
Here’s a math problem
If x is equal to 2
What will make him spew?
by B. M. Vigil of Washroom, Canada
Try a yoga pose
Or insert a garden hose
You’ll smell like a rose
by U. Candoit of Brownstone (Flushing, NY vicinity)
You are what you eat
If you want to pass a log
Become one with tree
by Leif Garrett of Dancing
Poets, Kuntrymen
Direct our laser focus
To poor Darth’s buttocks
Incite a movement
Nay, A true insurrection
in his sagging pants
by Erection Inciter of Guilty as charged ($1,ooo with happy ending, at least for me)
Anybody care?!
XFart Killed XLax... and the dog.
by I found a magic farting seed. of You eat just a few and you'll make huge farts!
Anybody home? :)
XEvil 4.0 killed Bitcoin!
XEvil.Net
by LindaSwich of Morocco
Been coughing up blood?
Tell everyone it's covid.
You smoke too much crack.
by And the ugly truth come out. of Just like my ugly penis.
I need some new shit.
Wake up, you motherfuckers!
Submit some poems!
by NOW! of Haiku are needed for a satisfactory bowel movement.
Flaky cunt biscuits.
Choco shugar glazed queef puffs.
Crispy twat waffles.
by Breakfast in Thailand of I need one of those Concord jets.
Flying in the sky,
is that a pterodactyl?
Will they eat his dog?
by
Where is my precioussss????
The hobbitses stole it from us!
Sneaky little theives!
by Smeagol Golum of Somewhere outside Mordor eating a live fish.
Cement mix butt plug
Discrete and comfortable
unless you sit down
by I. M. Sorass of Standing Room Only
I should kill myself.
I'm watching Lord of the Rings.
That's how low I've sunk.
by Fuck it, it's raining a billion buckets of piss out there.
Enrich your noodle.
You should always ask Google.
Knows all; never lies.
by While you're at it, look up blue waffles.
What’s a reach around?
by Anonymous Poet
How ‘bout a turd font
Haiku plops in a toilet
with a flushing sound
by Regular Haiku Poet of Outhouse
We need a font here
that looks like snow piss letters
so we can eat them.
by Lemonade sno-cones!
Since the font changed
the haiku is even worse
Who can explain this?
by Haiku Poet of Under Old Willow
Green bean casserole
Someone threw it in the field
Green Giant’s kaka
by Ho Ho Ho of Green Giant
Is it possible
Mad Dog 20/20 sales
decreased from its name?
Or for that matter,
how about Corona beer?
They're still going strong.
The reason is that
alcoholics are die hards.
Loyal to the end.
by Praise Jesus, God of Wine. of And you thought it was Bacchus.
Have you ever tried
pairing expensive cheeses
with cheap ghetto wines?
by It just doesn't work. of ... or does it? I've never tried!
Bob Carny Barker
was never truly alive.
Television ghoul.
by His penis is robotic. of Circuitry outdated.
Eating them, not sure.
But putting them in one's ass,
you'll live forever.
by Water to wine, Jewsy juice. of Benevolent vampire, accused of being a zombie.
Someone here must know
How long can a person live
eating just raisins?
by Raisin Eater of Here for the time being
