Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 55 Days and 78007 Haiku later...
Don’t get headaches much
Exploding head of Covid
Help yourself to germs
Haiku # 69908 January 29, 2021 4:28 am ET
by noticer of exploding heads of right here
Well, I fucked myself
back in nineteen eighty eight.
Like Buffalo Bill.
Haiku # 69907 January 29, 2021 3:57 am ET
by No, it wasn't good for me too.
I was supposed to
interview him but didn’t
after I got that
Haiku # 69906 January 29, 2021 2:05 am ET
by At the time, he was working of on a laundry delivery truck in Hooksett, NH
Are you implying
that you fucked GG Allin?
He got it all in?
Haiku # 69905 January 29, 2021 1:29 am ET
by You're GG's bastard child's mom?!
When I was eighteen
He mailed me a big package
and the package leaked
Haiku # 69904 January 29, 2021 12:47 am ET
by The post office wrapped it in plastic of Undisclosed 1985 mail call
GG "singing" the
quadratic formula would...
be interesting.
Haiku # 69903 January 29, 2021 12:39 am ET
by x equals negative b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus four a c, all over 2 a. of Add explicitives where needed or wanted.
What would be real hot
Yell math formulas and swear
like G.G. Allin
Haiku # 69902 January 29, 2021 12:16 am ET
by Franconia Notch of New Hampshire
Box and wisker plots
suck turds out of my sphincter.
Histograms more so.
Haiku # 69901 January 28, 2021 11:22 pm ET
by Fuck statistics. Monkey math! Pie charts are for stooges. of I'll say it again. Fuck statistics.
Prove non-trivial
zeros of zeta function
have real part one-half.
Haiku # 69900 January 28, 2021 11:18 pm ET
by Okay! I think that's it. of It doesn't matter where I am... it's nowhere special.
No, I fuckd that up.
It should say "real part" somewhere.
But, lo, it does not.
Haiku # 69899 January 28, 2021 11:16 pm ET
by poo-poo
Prove non-trivial
zeros of zeta function
equal to one-half.
Haiku # 69898 January 28, 2021 11:08 pm ET
by Raymond's high on pot the ass.
All cats have 9 lives
This kitten has double paws
Box and Whisker plot
Haiku # 69897 January 28, 2021 10:46 pm ET
by Basic Instinct of Primal Scream
To a computer
all numbers are dirty words,
basic and primal.
Haiku # 69896 January 28, 2021 10:40 pm ET
by That is sooo deep!.. and stinky! of Like my ex.
A beautiful mind
All those numbers in that brain
All those dirty words
Haiku # 69895 January 28, 2021 10:36 pm ET
by Solution of To all your problems
Here's a math problem.
Prove that the real part of the non-trivial zeros of the zeta function is equal to 1/2.
Haiku # 69894 January 28, 2021 10:21 pm ET
by Your prize is 5 kilos of rice, and 4 balot eggs.
I do not wear pants.
I only wear leather shorts.
To embarrass kids.
Haiku # 69893 January 28, 2021 10:15 pm ET
by Bare assed embarrassed. Cause that's what dads are for. of Goes well w/ Rush Limbaugh and Alex Jones t-shirts.
A happy ending
is only thirteen dollars
plus two dollar tip.

One thousand dollars,
I'd call that a sad ending.
I'll run out the door.
Haiku # 69892 January 28, 2021 10:10 pm ET
by Catch me if you can! of Customer *service* complaint office.
Here’s a math problem
If x is equal to 2
What will make him spew?
Haiku # 69891 January 28, 2021 9:37 pm ET
by B. M. Vigil of Washroom, Canada
Try a yoga pose
Or insert a garden hose
You’ll smell like a rose
Haiku # 69890 January 28, 2021 9:13 pm ET
by U. Candoit of Brownstone (Flushing, NY vicinity)
You are what you eat
If you want to pass a log
Become one with tree
Haiku # 69889 January 28, 2021 9:07 pm ET
by Leif Garrett of Dancing
Poets, Kuntrymen
Direct our laser focus
To poor Darth’s buttocks

Incite a movement
Nay, A true insurrection
in his sagging pants
Haiku # 69888 January 28, 2021 9:01 pm ET
by Erection Inciter of Guilty as charged ($1,ooo with happy ending, at least for me)
Anybody care?!

XFart Killed XLax... and the dog.
Haiku # 69887 January 28, 2021 9:01 pm ET
by I found a magic farting seed. of You eat just a few and you'll make huge farts!
Anybody home? :)

XEvil 4.0 killed Bitcoin!

XEvil.Net
Haiku # 69886 January 28, 2021 8:50 pm ET
by LindaSwich of Morocco
Been coughing up blood?
Tell everyone it's covid.
You smoke too much crack.
Haiku # 69885 January 28, 2021 8:22 pm ET
by And the ugly truth come out. of Just like my ugly penis.
I need some new shit.
Wake up, you motherfuckers!
Submit some poems!
Haiku # 69884 January 28, 2021 8:20 pm ET
by NOW! of Haiku are needed for a satisfactory bowel movement.
Flaky cunt biscuits.
Choco shugar glazed queef puffs.
Crispy twat waffles.
Haiku # 69883 January 28, 2021 11:16 am ET
by Breakfast in Thailand of I need one of those Concord jets.
Flying in the sky,
is that a pterodactyl?
Will they eat his dog?
Haiku # 69882 January 28, 2021 9:36 am ET
by
Where is my precioussss????
The hobbitses stole it from us!
Sneaky little theives!
Haiku # 69881 January 28, 2021 9:09 am ET
by Smeagol Golum of Somewhere outside Mordor eating a live fish.
Cement mix butt plug
Discrete and comfortable
unless you sit down
Haiku # 69880 January 28, 2021 8:52 am ET
by I. M. Sorass of Standing Room Only
I should kill myself.
I'm watching Lord of the Rings.
That's how low I've sunk.
Haiku # 69879 January 28, 2021 6:00 am ET
by Fuck it, it's raining a billion buckets of piss out there.
Enrich your noodle.
You should always ask Google.
Knows all; never lies.
Haiku # 69878 January 28, 2021 5:57 am ET
by While you're at it, look up blue waffles.
What’s a reach around?
Haiku # 69877 January 28, 2021 5:20 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
How ‘bout a turd font
Haiku plops in a toilet
with a flushing sound
Haiku # 69876 January 28, 2021 4:15 am ET
by Regular Haiku Poet of Outhouse
We need a font here
that looks like snow piss letters
so we can eat them.
Haiku # 69875 January 28, 2021 4:03 am ET
by Lemonade sno-cones!
Since the font changed
the haiku is even worse
Who can explain this?
Haiku # 69874 January 28, 2021 3:09 am ET
by Haiku Poet of Under Old Willow
Green bean casserole
Someone threw it in the field
Green Giant’s kaka
Haiku # 69873 January 28, 2021 1:55 am ET
by Ho Ho Ho of Green Giant
Is it possible
Mad Dog 20/20 sales
decreased from its name?

Or for that matter,
how about Corona beer?
They're still going strong.

The reason is that
alcoholics are die hards.
Loyal to the end.
Haiku # 69872 January 28, 2021 1:29 am ET
by Praise Jesus, God of Wine. of And you thought it was Bacchus.
Have you ever tried
pairing expensive cheeses
with cheap ghetto wines?
Haiku # 69871 January 28, 2021 1:22 am ET
by It just doesn't work. of ... or does it? I've never tried!
Bob Carny Barker
was never truly alive.
Television ghoul.
Haiku # 69870 January 28, 2021 12:49 am ET
by His penis is robotic. of Circuitry outdated.
Eating them, not sure.
But putting them in one's ass,
you'll live forever.
Haiku # 69869 January 28, 2021 12:46 am ET
by Water to wine, Jewsy juice. of Benevolent vampire, accused of being a zombie.
Someone here must know
How long can a person live
eating just raisins?
Haiku # 69868 January 28, 2021 12:26 am ET
by Raisin Eater of Here for the time being
I thought he was dead
Bob Barker is still living
and so is his dink
Haiku # 69867 January 28, 2021 12:24 am ET
by Runner up of Showcase Showdown
Are you a victim.
Or just an attention whore?
We see what you are.
Haiku # 69866 January 28, 2021 12:11 am ET
by Liar, theif, murderer. of Try sky diving.
All it takes is one.
From nose to brain; you're insane.
Ultrasound monster.
Haiku # 69865 January 27, 2021 11:50 pm ET
by I told you to swallow!
The mathematician
with sticky calculator
figures his sperm count
Haiku # 69864 January 27, 2021 11:43 pm ET
by Contortionist Mathematician of On top of bed
Cock, schlong, penis, dink.
We should talk pussy, I think.
Cunt, twat, queefs that stink.
Haiku # 69863 January 27, 2021 11:08 pm ET
by Become the change you want to see. of Or smell. Or taste.
They’ll never catch me!
Green Giant running amuck
Who wants some green dink?
Haiku # 69862 January 27, 2021 10:28 pm ET
by Jolly Green Giant Ho Ho Ho! of Outstanding in my field
He was so repressed
he used a strap-on dildo
to bang his Fleshlight.
Haiku # 69861 January 27, 2021 10:19 pm ET
by And was still worried about HIV! of Mom's basement orgy pit for stuffed animals. *Stuffed*. Get it?
You want raw sugar
I’m sitting behind you, Darth
It’s not a mirage
Haiku # 69860 January 27, 2021 10:09 pm ET
by B. Myvalentine of Undisclosed Coffee Shop
White sugar's so harsh.
Why wasn't there raw sugar
when I was a lad?
Haiku # 69859 January 27, 2021 9:25 pm ET
by One of the few things that have improved. of Coffee shop, pretending I am somewhere else.
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