Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 77 Days and 78049 Haiku later...
The only bad thing
about Christianity
is all the taboos.

No sex, drugs, murder,
adultery, or even
coveting others' stuff.

What a lame belief!
I think I'll become Muslim.
Allah Akbar, y'all!

Can I keep my pigs?
I guess if I don't eat them.
I think it's okay.
Haiku # 54246 August 21, 2016 8:38 pm ET
by DF
I'm Christian PF
We've been going at this for
years in some way or

another, but you
know Mike Meyers Cawfee Tawk
and you know who that

comes up at every
damn encounter with "Christians"
gotta know em and

I just can't keep up
with your own writing, I'd like
to, when it doesn't

fuck with things it's fun
words slip in and slip out as
you can see right there

icing the knee, and
trying to get people to
join me on this site
Haiku # 54245 August 21, 2016 1:37 pm ET
by vhs
once again i am all
verklempt not knowing how to
respond, and then some
Haiku # 54243 August 20, 2016 12:08 pm ET
by vhs
*It !!!!
*It just passed us right on by.
(shitty keyboard.)
Haiku # 54242 August 20, 2016 7:14 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bad Poetry Day.
I just passed us right on by.
No body loves us.
Haiku # 54241 August 20, 2016 7:14 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The SPAM can respond?!
Well fuck me running sideways.
It's now self-aware!
Haiku # 54240 August 20, 2016 7:12 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Olympic ping-pong.
The human race needs to die.
It is clenching proof.

Olympic butt-sex,
That's a possibility,
but fucking ping-pong?!

Butt-fucking ping-pong.
Asshole ping-pong ball shooting.
Just like Mexico.

Mexico takes gold.
Then Thailand takes the silver.
USA gets bronze.

She's done it again!
Her 3rd Olympic medal.
Kaitlyn Jenner's great!
Haiku # 54237 August 19, 2016 11:27 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
When it was over,
he wished he'd fucked a sandwich.
Or a burrito.
Haiku # 54236 August 19, 2016 7:08 pm ET
by df
It reminds him of
Arby's roast beef sandwiches
with a horrid stench.

That ain't horsey sauce.
It could use some vinegar.
It made him queasy.

It is just like when
you eat fresh made wasabi;
don't breathe through your nose.
Haiku # 54235 August 19, 2016 6:56 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The monster's breath reeks.
Just like your wife's vagina.
Oh, that's what it is.
Haiku # 54234 August 19, 2016 6:47 pm ET
by df
Tiny little dick.
Enormous cunt with sharp teeth.
Balls will miss their friend.
Haiku # 54233 August 19, 2016 6:45 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker -- the worst of all bad "poets".
Cigars won't kill you.
They are only unhealthy
if you breathe their smoke.

Instead smoke ganja.
Marijuana cures cancer.
My friend's friend's grandma...

If there were no "if"
mathematicians would die.
If "if" were outlawed.

Big O, little o.
The big IF and little if.
Huge cunt, tiny dick.
Haiku # 54232 August 19, 2016 2:59 pm ET
by I am not myself; the monster has control.
I am no poet!
I never claimed to be one.
I am just a bitch.
Haiku # 54231 August 19, 2016 2:49 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
i often think I
want the props of intellect
cigar in one hand

puffing away, poke
the old words on a page but
i just wash dishes
Haiku # 54230 August 19, 2016 1:01 pm ET
by vhs
this is a long on
going conversation for
two poets bitching
Haiku # 54229 August 19, 2016 11:42 am ET
by vhs
Thanks for the time of my life. Will really recommend you as far as I go. phenq
http://www.phenqsale.com/
Haiku # 54228 August 19, 2016 7:35 am ET
by shella james of usa
Google Fruit are gay.
They're more gay than Bruce Jenner.
Can fruit change its sex?
Haiku # 54227 August 19, 2016 6:44 am ET
by df
I've been hovering
over a marriage I've had
too long, but have kids.

Never get married
if her mother is too fat
'cause she'll look the same.

Never mind all that.
Better just don't get married.
Just be a man whore.
Haiku # 54226 August 18, 2016 10:19 pm ET
by df
i've been hovering
over a job i've had too long
yet can't let it go
Haiku # 54225 August 18, 2016 1:03 pm ET
by vhs
Do you know the password for the router?
Who cleverly hidden away in the depths of it.
You just have to go a little
the link with ip 192.168.0.1
Haiku # 54224 August 18, 2016 8:10 am ET
by Lin of Bombey
In the remote mountains far
Pheasant Long-dormant -
Long tail of a pheasant.
This long, long night
Do I sleep alone?
192.168.1.1
Haiku # 54223 August 18, 2016 7:49 am ET
by malkovich of LA
"Never gonna give
you up, never gonna let
you down." -Rick Astley
Haiku # 54222 August 17, 2016 2:14 pm ET
by hakr14 of the deep web
hmm now i wonder
if two naked gay men could
be cockfighting and

if that would be on
an adult server in some sort
of circles like that
Haiku # 54219 August 16, 2016 11:11 am ET
by vhs
I can't believe this.
He's naked in the cock fight.
Naked Man Sabung.
(Sabung = cock fight.)

A strange tradition.
Your rooster wins and you strip.
Small penis display.
Haiku # 54209 August 15, 2016 8:00 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I guess I fucked up.
Here's the link I meant to post:
Philippines Cock Fight
Haiku # 54208 August 15, 2016 7:31 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Is it SPAM if it's not for profit?
Read this bad novel.
It's vulgar, offensive, and
will make you vomit.
evi1 - a novel about you

Or if you're lazy,
just watch this short You-tube flick:
Chicken fucker fun.

Another good one:
Now this is a great cock fight.
Philippines Cock Fight
Haiku # 54207 August 15, 2016 5:58 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of People's Republic of Spamakistan
Are these robot posts?
Why post spam w/o a link?
What are they selling?
lckaltpssyndtts
Haiku # 54206 August 15, 2016 5:44 pm ET
by df
We have attitude,
testicular fortitude,
anal fartitude.
Haiku # 54205 August 15, 2016 5:41 pm ET
by df
it's like the crack in
the dam, damn, the water will
flow, flood, sweep away
Haiku # 54203 August 15, 2016 12:36 pm ET
by vhs
No body likes me.
I know my music's not great.
Not like Madonna's.
Haiku # 54197 August 14, 2016 11:43 pm ET
by Justin Beiber
i wonder what it
would be like to get someone
"famous" posting stuff

here
Haiku # 54195 August 14, 2016 1:48 pm ET
by vhs
it is out of sight
trees and woods blow in the wind
I smacked into it
Haiku # 54190 August 14, 2016 2:55 am ET
by seed of unknown
ask yourself something
what is your superpower?
using it for good?
Haiku # 54189 August 14, 2016 12:10 am ET
by Manbingo Ricola of North Pensicola
Scam spam scam hello!
Thanks for scam spam hello scam.
Cram Spam in a can.
Haiku # 54188 August 13, 2016 11:41 pm ET
by flglglwiggipoopiepants of The Elitists' Republic of China
That's wrong, Mandingo.
I always poop in my pants.
Yes, others' pants too.

Imagine their look!
I take their clothes from clothes lines.
And then poop in them.

I return the clothes.
And I watch from a distance.
What horrified looks!
Haiku # 54186 August 13, 2016 11:54 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
a blink of my eye
and you will poop in your pants
My Superpower
Haiku # 54184 August 13, 2016 1:35 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola of the land of rock and rolla
Rapture and heaven.
All half-hearted half-measures.
We need permanence.

Death without a ghost.
Extinction forever more.
An end to this farce.

Sadly there are too many people on this planet to end human existence with a disease or small scale nuke war. It will likely take a huge asteroid or massive natural disaster to wipe us out. What is God waiting for?! Oh yeah, we entertain Him with our suffering... I forgot.
Haiku # 54183 August 12, 2016 7:27 pm ET
by df
i had a convo
with a kid from "PRC"
on icq and

he said something of
dragons, the Rapture, etc.
you know what i think

and believe so
this subject is normal to
me. it is ancient

what of Taiwan???
Haiku # 54182 August 12, 2016 10:44 am ET
by vhs
Considering China's disregard for the environment, overpopulation, expansionism, etc., there is no other recourse except for WWIII, but rather than nukes it should be fought with ebola just because, (1) that would be funny, and (2), think of the money we'd save.

Fucking bastards make an office chair that the legs break after 2 weeks! Fuckers deserve WWIII for that shit! Not cool!

Oh, a haiku...

Chinese commies suck.
A criminal empire.
Greed exemplified.
Haiku # 54180 August 11, 2016 3:41 pm ET
by df
well i am just of
the thought say our grandparents
called japan "japs" but

when World War II was
over then we have Japan
as it is right now

harajuku girls, games
hentai, and otaku and
what will we say on

China if Axl
gets his Democracy he
always wanted there
Haiku # 54179 August 10, 2016 1:47 pm ET
by vhs
It would be so nice
to have a bulletin board
instead of this shite.

We could log in and
voila, no more spam to read;
just awful poetry.

Some of you could be
admins to delete the SPAM
and violent threats.

It could be public,
but log in required for
posting poetry.

Problem fucking solved.
But will it ever happen?
Absolutely not.

If it ever does,
I will chop off my penis.
This I promise you.
--Donald Trump
Haiku # 54178 August 10, 2016 5:35 am ET
by DT
Finally it's right.
My God, what a fight that was.
Copy-paste sucks ass.
Haiku # 54177 August 9, 2016 9:17 pm ET
by df
      Plethoras of plethoras of radioactive gerbils at war with their ferret overlords in my left ear canal one Saturday night in Albuquerque while the sentient zit on my taint refused to be popped while singing the Star Strangled Banner. Quiche is really bad for you and the anti-quiche lobbyists almost have their bill pushed through congress and are awaiting presidential approval. "My name is Buford Frederick Figpucker and I approve this message," the bullhorn shrieked on the lunar colony (inhabitants affectionately known as lunatics). They have a good basketball team and their slam dunks are incredible. Theory and Application of Infinite Series by Konrad Knopp just made the New York Times best-sellers list.
      I want to be invisible for the sake of doing what most people would consider inappropriate in public places. Yes, that's just invisible rain and your children will be transparent.
      The coffee wars in the jungles of El Salvador have taken the lives of over 65,000 people and this is all being kept quiet by Southparkstudios.com. The connections are really obvious once you get past all the bullshit. Any country that has teenage girls' panties (having been worn once and not washed) in vending machines for perverted businessmen to buy and sniff on their way to work while drinking a "Grande Frappuccino" deserves a tsunami and radioactive fish falling from the sky on parachutes of Yen washed up on the shores of the imagination.
      KFTC KFTC KFTC KFTC.
      I don't know why.
      Bert and Ernie Anastos knows.
      And ass toes. Toes in your ass-fucking foot-sex because anal fisting is just not good enough sometimes. Extra stinky feet. And ass toes nose.
      In the next universe that God creates, the names of anyone you have sex with will be instantly tattooed on your arms for everyone to see. In the next universe that God creates, your genitals will be on your foreheads. In the next universe that God creates, there will be no poetry that starts each sentence with the same phrase.
      We need more depths to which we can sink. Pink toe stink.
Haiku # 54176 August 9, 2016 9:15 pm ET
by df "Plethoras" of fucking curly apostrophes are a pain in the ass here for copy-paste!
Plethoras of plethoras of radioactive gerbils at war with their ferret overlords in my left ear canal one Saturday night in Albuquerque while the sentient zit on my taint refused to be popped while singing the Star Strangled Banner. Quiche is really bad for you and the anti-quiche lobbyists almost have their bill pushed through congress and are awaiting presidential approval. "My name is Buford Frederick Figpucker and I approve this message," the bullhorn shrieked on the lunar colony (inhabitants affectionately known as lunatics). They have a good basketball team and their slam dunks are incredible. Theory and Application of Infinite Series by Konrad Knopp just made the New York Times best-sellers list.

I want to be invisible for the sake of doing what most people would consider inappropriate in public places. Yes, that's just invisible rain and your children will be transparent.

The coffee wars in the jungles of El Salvador have taken the lives of over 65,000 people and this is all being kept quiet by Southparkstudios.com. The connections are really obvious once you get past all the bullshit. Any country that has teenage girls' panties (having been worn once and not washed) in vending machines for perverted businessmen to buy and sniff on their way to work while drinking a "Grande Frappuccino" deserves a tsunami and radioactive fish falling from the sky on parachutes of Yen washed up on the shores of the imagination.

KFTC KFTC KFTC KFTC.

I don
Haiku # 54175 August 9, 2016 9:11 pm ET
by df "Plethoras" again... maybe of Goddamn curly quotes and apostrophes don't work on this website for copy paste. Life.
Plethoras of plethoras of radioactive gerbils at war with their ferret overlords in my left ear canal one Saturday night in Albuquerque while the sentient zit on my taint refused to be popped while singing the Star Strangled Banner. Quiche is really bad for you and the anti-quiche lobbyists almost have their bill pushed through congress and are awaiting presidential approval.
Haiku # 54174 August 9, 2016 9:07 pm ET
by df "Plethoras"
Now it's weather spam!
You must fucking kidding!
I don't want to live.

I'm looking forward
to an apocalyptic
World War I I I.

Aye aye, poke his eye.
Gouge them out and replace them.
With Pokemon balls.

Or just poke his balls.
But, you know, he might like that.
Katana castrate!

Did you read the story about the Japanese "Chef" who had his junk surgically removed and then he took it home and cooked it and fed it to clients at $500 per plate? Would YOU pay $500 to eat someone's balls and tiny little Asian cock, 'cause I sure wouldn't?!

I hope when we nuke
China that the blasts will make
some stupendous waves!

Surf's up, brah, hang ten!
Carve those radioactive
swells like a turkey!
Haiku # 54173 August 9, 2016 9:01 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker The Highly Inappropriate
El Nino waxes,
warm waters shoal, flow eastward,
Earth's fever rises.
Haiku # 54172 August 9, 2016 8:29 pm ET
by Gregory C. Johnson of NOAA
absurdity on all
levels, bill, allen and jack
are all dead right now

but the Beat goes on
Haiku # 54171 August 9, 2016 2:01 pm ET
by vhsronin
I have observed that in the world these days, video games include the latest popularity with kids of all ages. Periodically it may be extremely hard to drag the kids away from the games. If you want the best of both worlds, there are plenty of educational games for kids. Great post. dfddkggcbekfeede
Haiku # 54170 August 9, 2016 6:28 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA
I'm glad that it turned out so effectively and I hope it will continue in the future because it is so worthwhile and meaningful to the community. dddkfedadfdfbkkf
Haiku # 54169 August 8, 2016 5:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA