The way you lean back
and take a sip of that nog
Fuck me, Santa Clause
by Noel of No Tell Motel
Cartwheel Cartwheel split
What an unfortunate time
for the urge to shit
by A. Changeofpants of Physically Phit Butt Plastered With Shit
Sometimes you have to
plug your nose and keep going
Try Cunnilingus
by Cunnilingus Cunningham of Flying Aer Lingus
You asked for poems
So I looked inside myself
and haikued this out
by Regular Haiku Poet of Under old willow
Anything you say
Martha Raye at your service
Call me the Big Mouth
by Horny Ghoul of Whenever. Wherever.
Oh thou, vile Dork Lard
We bow down and worship Thee
(Because you're SILLY)
by Silly Billy of Absolute Maleficence
Take out your dentures.
Polygrip sticks to your mask.
And to pubic hair.
by No teeth guaranteed. of You dirty old whore.
Infidelity
If you don't think about it
It has its good points
by Side Piece of On the side
Having a hard time
Administering blow jobs
with this Covid mask
by Pearl Drop of Fresh Breath
Why are you a pig?
You should be in a sandwich.
Except you're rancid.
Diseased and toxic.
We'll throw you into a pit.
Bury you alive.
by H1N1 memories of Flame throwers more appropriate.
Perfect hemispheres.
Longboarding ladies poo stance.
Sexy butt silly.
by Rear view lip slip.
It was quite calming.
Electrified testicles.
Not shocking at all.
by Go ask your daughters.
I thought about it.
Blueberries shot out my schlong.
Here, have a muffin.
by Blueberry stud muffin. of Pig in a blueberry blanket. Ganja muffin. Puffin' on the muffin.
Whilst eating yoghurt
Think about the name Wadsworth
Report back to me
by Your Assignment of To Do List
I'll impregnate you.
Just by using the Dark Side.
I am a Dork Lard.
by Darth Whorendous, The Dork Lard of The Shit.
I'd go out with you
Just think of that poetry
But no touching, Darth
by Secret Admirer of Under old willow
Asian prostitutes.
Economical plane trips.
Where's our money gone?!
by Bert & Ernie of And you thought we were gay. Ha!
Chicks dig the haiku.
And white hair. And beer belly.
Believe me (in verse.)
by Supermodels Kill for My Haiku
Spewing syllables
Hot poet ejaculate
Was it good for me?
by A. Lone of Messy
Haiku statistics
There's just one poet on here
It's masturbation
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
Oh my God, ya think?!
Chicks do not like poetry?
They like cock and cash?
by I'm a middle aged pervert b/c I'm middle aged. of Young men are not perverts, they are young men... Unless they're poets, that's pervy.
There are no chicks here
Sausage party circle jerk
Of middle aged creeps
by Jesus of Jonestown
Unlike you, my friend,
I'm not here to pick up chicks.
Stud muffin poet.
by dw of Go be attractive somewhere else! ;-)
genital humour
repetitive as herpes
just as attractive
by ash
Crushed fiber glass with
Carolina reaper juice.
Inside your Fleshlight.
by DW of Banging jellyfish again... they sting sooo good!
Decrapitation
Like a hot knife through butt crack
Pooping is a joy
by Anonymous Poet
Decapitation
Like a hot knife through butter
Except it's a head
by William Butler Yeast Infection of Vancouver, Candida
I'm over here, Darth
Pretend like you don't see me
I'm not wearing clothes
by Me of Over Here
What is the best food?
I maybe cook some for you
Feed you like infant
by Chef Bon Bon De Souffle'
Big truck pulled up front
Darth Figpucker residence
Fleshlights forever
by Noticer of Details of .Being nosey
Sliding the sausage
slowly back in the casing
A Happy Ending
by Yes'm of Essem
Break the programming!
Smash the globalist control
By being a LOUDMOUTH !
by Alex J. of Rapidly Expanding
It's WORLD-WIDE people:
Seventeen Seventy-Six!
(Now buy my products.)
by Alex Jones of Controlled Slopposition
Cleetus . . . hey Cleetus !
Federal agents done took it;
Done took my haiku.
by Damn Rebels of High Hill Country
Flying penises
impregnating young virgins.
Those Goddamn hippies!
by Alex Jones of Homosexual Amphibian Sanctuary
Darth, yore right purty...
But they is on the wrong side
Them mounds of Venus!
by Bad Biology of Moonshine Perspectives
Lissen up now Darth:
Spacemen done seen the crater
there on Uranus.
by Hillbilly Assessments of Appalachian Astronomy
I sorry for you.
You have quivering asshole:
Orbit Uranus.
by Out of Space
Rudy really ROX !
Sydney Powells right on through
Jenna Ell is HOT
by Laws Have Meaning of I'm Sorry
When Rudy farted
2 per cent Hitler DNA
The rest was veal parm
by human calculator of At your service
they're calling his bluff
but rudy's got it covid
that wasn't cold sweat
by ash
Found hidden treasures
Stumbled upon this website
Y'all are real poets!
by Quivering Asshole of Out in orbit
This must be his bed
Black hair dye drip stains. Check.
Hand down his pants. Check.
by Dead flowers for Rudy of Hospital
Th eolder I get,
my typing gets more funky.
You know what I mean?
by Vern?
Well spank my ass and
toss my in a gunny sack;
I have been naughty!
by Satan, Santa... same same. of Coal and soap afficionado.
Two months overdue.
Creeper season's October.
Well, except Krampus.
by Krampus has a cramp in his ass. of Crampon tampon sorority Krampus campus.
I use AXE on YOU.
Sever your head with haiku.
Make u smell so NICE.
by Shower Gel Rules Your Sorry Ass of GOD
Frogs have green testes.
Tadpoles are hyperactive.
Use AXE shower gel.
by So you can be a real man.
William Barr, fatass,
Pardoned Ruby Ridge killers.
Don't trust this swamp toad.
by Familiar Refrain of Ribit Ribit Ribit
Testicular green.
Zombies and Jolly Giants.
Blueberries are gay.
by Have you ever had an Asian prostitute ask you if you'd like to squeeze one or both of your balls into her anus? of Well, then you haven't lived, boy!
