Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 66 Days and 78029 Haiku later...
Don't want it now awaits the native of worth instead of your stinch of dishonorable deceit
Haiku # 64391 April 27, 2019 5:46 am ET
by Ra of Oxygen to your very tree...
Raped by her swine of an uncle
Disgusting males and horrid smells of HIS stinch of chaos comes to and end
Haiku # 64390 April 27, 2019 5:43 am ET
by Trash of the Gods of Spit you out unworthy of power
The Sperm Bank is closed
Please consider swallowing
Your next deposit
Haiku # 64389 April 27, 2019 5:42 am ET
by Branch Manager of Slippery Elm
Molestation by your own hands brings forth curses upon your own head and land. Thoth and Asherah now favors me as well as everyone of the Elohim and now you shall fall beneath mine and my children's feet.
Haiku # 64388 April 27, 2019 5:40 am ET
by You shall not enter of The virgins flesh of meat
But I like the smell.
Reminds me of Uncle Bob.
Seems he never bathed.
Haiku # 64387 April 27, 2019 3:26 am ET
by Molested Nephew Figpucker
Jousting penis play
Aluminum foil armour
We keep our meat fresh
Haiku # 64386 April 27, 2019 1:42 am ET
by Long Knights
Sticking it out now
You will note it is quite hard
Guaranteed no smell
Haiku # 64385 April 27, 2019 1:37 am ET
by Rural Guido
That's interesting.
Where did she get cyanide?
Got any extra?
Haiku # 64384 April 27, 2019 1:26 am ET
by In persuit of a penis.
Cum spilled from her mouth
Thought she'd taken cyanide
Called an ambulance
Haiku # 64383 April 26, 2019 11:06 pm ET
by Pursuit of Happiness
Your taint is *choke*... grey?
What the hell, you alien?
I'd like to see that!
Haiku # 64382 April 26, 2019 10:14 pm ET
by LF
I've no medical
insurance; fecal transplants
are too expensive.

A good substitute
is to go to the park and
find some fresh dog shit.

Shove it up your ass.
Get it up there good and deep.
Use a broom handle.

You might start barking
right after the procedure.
That means it's working.
Haiku # 64381 April 26, 2019 10:11 pm ET
by The Evil Lord Figpucker
That foolish moustache
I mean you're ugly enough
Just the way you are
Haiku # 64380 April 26, 2019 7:20 pm ET
by That foolish moustache tickles
I'm on the phone now
Ordering a new toilet
An expensive date
Haiku # 64379 April 26, 2019 4:58 pm ET
by God is Good
When the noise quiets down
You emerge from the bathroom
Fifteen pounds lighter
Haiku # 64378 April 26, 2019 4:50 pm ET
by Stew Dropped
Old fashioned pounding
Both legs tied to the bedposts
Phone is off the hook
Haiku # 64377 April 26, 2019 4:43 pm ET
by No Distraction
The grey area
Betwixt my balls and asshole
I call it my taint
Haiku # 64376 April 26, 2019 4:41 pm ET
by Rural Guido of No toucha da mushrooms
The three little pigs
Shaking Quaking No Faking
Bacon Orgasm
Haiku # 64375 April 26, 2019 1:35 pm ET
by Garth Swinediddler of Sty
Christ once asked a man:
"How many of you are there
in there ?" (Pig demons)
Haiku # 64374 April 26, 2019 1:05 pm ET
by Exorcize and Keep Fit
God's a homophobe
Which doesn't make any sense
Cuz I think he's gay
Haiku # 64373 April 26, 2019 12:24 pm ET
by Horse of A different color
Yelling in GodsCunt
Secondhand didgeridoo
Tones only dogs hear
Haiku # 64372 April 26, 2019 11:48 am ET
by Down under
Yelling in God
Haiku # 64371 April 26, 2019 11:48 am ET
by Down under
Pork Figpucker chops
And applesauce!! Applesauce!!
My favorite rerun
Haiku # 64370 April 26, 2019 11:42 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
One hundred percent
USDA inspected
Pork Figpucker loin
Haiku # 64369 April 26, 2019 11:39 am ET
by Sam the Butcher of Brady Bunch
Why I buy brown sheets
Sometimes my bowel movements
Wake up before me
Haiku # 64368 April 26, 2019 11:35 am ET
by You snooze you lose
Knocked on your front door
No answer. You were sleeping.
Left package in rear
Haiku # 64367 April 26, 2019 11:31 am ET
by Why I sleep on my back
Emasculated
Took the thing between your legs
Mounted it on wall
Haiku # 64366 April 26, 2019 11:23 am ET
by Literally
Darth, maybe you need
One of those gut refill gigs
they call "shit transplant" (?)
Haiku # 64365 April 26, 2019 10:51 am ET
by Darthian Scarcity of Inspiration
Its not the end its the begging. Because there's always ANU truth in the beginning.
Haiku # 64364 April 26, 2019 10:19 am ET
by New Truth Rising of Hope
I just got neutered
Now that I don't have a dick
Can we date again?
Haiku # 64363 April 26, 2019 9:40 am ET
by Get out of My ass
I yelled in God's cunt.
The echo rang with a boom.
So much wasted time.

Empty and hollow.
And far too loose to enjoy.
Like an old hooker.

Friendly but pointless.
The deeper you look, the more
depressed you become.

Stay away from God.
It's the best thing you can do.
Play sudoku; die.
Haiku # 64362 April 26, 2019 7:23 am ET
by The End
That's why UPS
delivery workers wear
those ugly brown pants.
Haiku # 64361 April 26, 2019 7:14 am ET
by Didn't you know?
Cassowary Bird
Attacked our UPS man
Made him shit his pants
Haiku # 64360 April 26, 2019 2:52 am ET
by Nice
Grocery store
Examining cucumbers
Sampling a pickle
Haiku # 64359 April 26, 2019 2:50 am ET
by Nice
Climbing to the top
The peak of success. What's next?
Shit on everyone!
Haiku # 64358 April 25, 2019 11:54 pm ET
by Ava L'anche
Thanks for asking, friend
Now and then..I never know
Guess it's a craps shoot
Haiku # 64357 April 25, 2019 10:54 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
So you're saying that
gold coins DON'T spill out when you
bend over; that's strange.
Haiku # 64356 April 25, 2019 10:48 pm ET
by You should see a doctor.
Passersby take note
Didn't he outrun the train?
Where is his bucket?
Haiku # 64355 April 25, 2019 10:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Tranquil evening stroll
All of nature is chirping
And beating their meat
Haiku # 64354 April 25, 2019 10:37 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Two sips of moonshine
Put some lead in your pencil
Spring Tonic is in!
Haiku # 64353 April 25, 2019 7:58 pm ET
by All seeing eye of Ike Godzey of Store
dead fetus
unfilled ovaries dead cells
just a spam dump useless life no pump to make a bump
Haiku # 64352 April 25, 2019 7:37 pm ET
by Empty Balls of Empty Bellies
Outrunning the train
Jerking off in a bucket
Hung around my neck
Haiku # 64351 April 25, 2019 6:56 pm ET
by WTF
Time for discussions
Tales of brave cassowaries
Their heroic deeds
Haiku # 64350 April 25, 2019 6:52 pm ET
by Cassowary Bird!!!
Hands moving so fast
Bring the scent up to my nose
Flatulence! Nectar!
Haiku # 64349 April 25, 2019 6:50 pm ET
by Mindfully Yours
Can you imagine
If every time I bent over
Gold coins would spill out
Haiku # 64348 April 25, 2019 6:46 pm ET
by I
So what animal
are we allowed to discuss
and/or make fun of?

How about humans!
Looks like monkeys, tastes like pork.
And bad at haiku.
Haiku # 64347 April 25, 2019 6:21 pm ET
by
Perfume of Spring wind
Kimono drying on line
I stand here naked
Haiku # 64346 April 25, 2019 6:10 pm ET
by Kyoto Moon
Wind howling,"Eat me"
Cassowaries line dancing
Evil is afoot
Haiku # 64345 April 25, 2019 5:24 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Hospitality
Unexpected guests welcome
For you, I spread legs
Haiku # 64344 April 25, 2019 5:19 pm ET
by Open
Around the table
Pass the gravy. Pass the salt
I love eating cock!
Haiku # 64343 April 25, 2019 5:15 pm ET
by Bottomless Jolie-Pitt
Proboscis monkeys!
Like there's a cock their face.
The ladies love it!
Haiku # 64342 April 25, 2019 5:04 pm ET
by Cock-nosed Billy.
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