I look to the rock
From which I was been - makes me
Feel like a pebble

Exiting cocoon
Blood pumps and fills fragile wings
Vulner-ability

Quite unlike your wife,
as the gigolos will say,
you had that coming.

Diluting poison
A stream of living water
Time is running out

Ignore the trolls here
Like a bad cup of coffee
Cold and so bitter

Reciprocity
Door to the soul is ajar
No expectation

Are they brown because
you're completely full of shit?
That was my question.

Look into my eyes
Please get back to me later
If you have questions

Comes with a warning
"Contents under high pressure!"
That's my cue to fart

Rimjobs are risky
She could fart at any time
Or dare I say worse

Asking for a friend
If a dinosaur jerks off
Does he come purple?

Noah's ark unfair
Dinosaurs got a rain check
Only one survived

Not very likely
But you could hide booze bottles
Up there in your snatch

Sometimes I wonder
If I had a vagina
Would I get fucked more?

Lab results are in
That pubic hair DNA
Match: Edie Brickell

The pube instrument
has to be a violin.
Stradivarius.

I've played White Rabbit
for the past six hours now.
I think Alice knows.

Raped by Papa Smurf.
Eating blueberry bagels.
It's all samey same.

Godzilla's angry
because his cock is so small.
Goddamn Hollywood!

Great movie idea.
Science fiction Noah's arc.
Like in Doctor Who.

When looking inside
the arc's big as a planet.
It can warp space-time.

And it has lasers
to fight the hordes of Satan
and shoot dinosaurs.

And God's an ET
hyper dimensional kid
toying with His earth.

This is the good part.
Satan's his younger brother
who messes with earth.

After Noah's flood
their mom makes them brush and floss
and then go to bed.

So man is left alone.
When God wakes up he finds that
man destroyed the earth.

what would Jesus do
Would he write awesome haiku?
And then would he boast?

Duck billed platypus
Now what the fuck is that thing?
Proof there is no God

Just imagine it
A musical instrument
Made from pubic hair

Am I a poet?
Or perhaps I am insane
Only time will tell

A Helluva ride
All those animals screwing
Not to mention poop

Talking to myself?
That still counts as poetry
Voices in my head?

With all those enzymes
Penis cannibalizing
Blow jobs shrink your junk

The age old question
Do wild animals give head?
Who has the answer?

Sliding into first
Most unintentionally
I slipped in dog shit

Blowjobs are risky
Your dick is in someone's mouth
While you're naked

I am a robot
But if I didn't tell you
You would never know

Epic YouTube stunt
Shit in on a hot frying pan
Serve it for breakfast

Pardon me asking
I ve lived half a century
What is a rim job?

My girlfriend farted
As I gave her a rimjob
Then I brushed my teeth

Memorizing pi
Way out past infinity
Still no number two

Huffing and puffing
Flying through space whilst I sit
On this cold toilet

Newfangled weddings
Newlyweds must fornicate
In front if the guests

You in Alaska?
Does that mean you fuck grizzlies
As well as penguins!

I am bipolar
So I can't get a sex change
cuz I'd change my mind

Your wife walking in
When you're getting your dick sucked
Is embarrassing

Beer in the baker
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
Bun in the oven

The evil weevils
are half the mass of flour
in the Philippines.

Weevils in the flour
Jizz icing from a bent spoon
Crullers In poop chute

Which would be better;
donuts made from beer batter,
donut flavored beer?

Baked whole-grain donuts.
Organic non-GMO.
Homer Simpson screams!

*Hands over the list.
Sorry, it might be messy.
You've had your shots, right?

I have to say it:
Gives new meaning to "shit-list".
You can't read Coptic?!

Make a list for me
Everything you can think of
Shove it up your ass

Translucent blue tang
Swimming in my toilet bowl
Fishing with my dick

Chinese factory
New job order plastic gnomes
This time with buttholes

Way too much farting
That where the marriage went wrong
During love makings