Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 67 Days and 78029 Haiku later...
Guillotine line up
Extra thin sliced baloney
Just go in backwards
Haiku # 63320 April 1, 2019 1:22 pm ET
by Brain IAC of Here
People always say
Give Jesus all your problems
Give the guy a break
Haiku # 63319 April 1, 2019 12:58 pm ET
by Rural Guido of Rural
Please send provisions
I have no coffee or tea
No toilet paper
Haiku # 63318 April 1, 2019 12:55 pm ET
by Needy Poet
How is your bunghole?
Window to the soul backdoor
Brown flute toot salute
Haiku # 63317 April 1, 2019 12:00 pm ET
by Grunt
Deficiency in
political correctness
must be commended.
Haiku # 63316 April 1, 2019 11:31 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
What if our assholes
Were tied in a double knot
Like a balloon end?
Haiku # 63315 April 1, 2019 11:30 am ET
by God is Good
Hebrew National
I thought it was a racehorse
But it's a hot dog
Haiku # 63314 April 1, 2019 11:25 am ET
by Gifeltebiscuit of OTB
If God loved the Earth
Why didst He give us poopholes
Bad outhouse gasses
Haiku # 63313 April 1, 2019 11:20 am ET
by Belieber
Nationalism:
it's the new Globalism.
This is so much fun!
Haiku # 63312 April 1, 2019 11:20 am ET
by Seeing Orange Russia-Colluding Nazis EVERYWHERE !
Deficiency in
political correctness
has brought me to this.
Haiku # 63311 April 1, 2019 11:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Use banana leaves.
Monkeys never need TP.
Only a target.
Haiku # 63310 April 1, 2019 11:04 am ET
by Splat splat splat
Apologetic
I see your predicament
No toilet paper
Haiku # 63309 April 1, 2019 8:15 am ET
by Henry David Thoroughly Wiped of I used it all
Guillotine line up.
Ba-CAWK; the final last words.
Treated like a queen.
Haiku # 63308 April 1, 2019 6:48 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I've been overwhelmed
by the banality of
your anality
Haiku # 63307 April 1, 2019 6:44 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Yellow, green, purple,
chartreuse, magenta, cyan,
Crayola skin tone.
Haiku # 63306 April 1, 2019 6:42 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of Time out for not being PC
I swear it's not me.
You find that impossible,
but I swear it's true.
Haiku # 63305 April 1, 2019 6:40 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
To be successful
eat two-plus chickens per day;
you might lay an egg.
Haiku # 63304 April 1, 2019 6:39 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
When garbage goes in
but the processor is broken,
that's not a good thing.
Haiku # 63303 April 1, 2019 6:36 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
How long should it take
to train monkeys to hold their
breaths underwater.
Haiku # 63302 April 1, 2019 6:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Celery crunches.
But only when it is fresh.
It's just like puppies.
Haiku # 63301 April 1, 2019 6:34 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The armpit sniffer
Walks on a tilt. Birkenstocks
She'll find the B O
Haiku # 63300 April 1, 2019 1:55 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The armpit sniffer
Walks on a tilt. Birkenstocks
She'll find the B O
Haiku # 63299 April 1, 2019 1:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Took off all my clothes
The dog is fascinated
My dink has no sheath
Haiku # 63298 April 1, 2019 12:56 am ET
by Being a poet is strange
Sticky liquid trail
Followed it to a big tree
Keebler elf wanking
Haiku # 63297 April 1, 2019 12:47 am ET
by Forrest Gunk
For just fifty cents
Enter the Smegmatron Dome
Good for what ails you
Haiku # 63296 March 31, 2019 10:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Brazilian hookers,
also known as prosti-toots,
fart on you for cash.
Haiku # 63295 March 31, 2019 10:43 pm ET
by df of How many is a brazilion?
That look in your eye
Do they even notice it?
Under the ski mask
Haiku # 63294 March 31, 2019 10:15 pm ET
by Innocent bystander of Standing by
Hunk of burning love
Backyard penis barbeque
Shimmy Shimmy Shake!
Haiku # 63293 March 31, 2019 10:11 pm ET
by Beehive Honeys Gone Wrong
There are parasites
draining away my life force.
No video game!

They live in my house,
sleeping under the same roof,
eating all my food.

There is never thanks.
Will they miss me when I'm dead.
Think I'll go jogging.
Haiku # 63292 March 31, 2019 10:08 pm ET
by Come on, brain, start bleeding again! I am in need of much alcohol
There's rum in my balls.
I always carry my balls.
Can't be forgotten.

Preemptive retard.
Fetal alcohol syndrome
before conception.

Would you like a drink?
Ethanol protein milk shake.
Drunk body builders.
Haiku # 63291 March 31, 2019 10:00 pm ET
by df
You walked in on it
The primal scene. Primal scream
It can't be unseen
Haiku # 63290 March 31, 2019 9:53 pm ET
by Blind of Dad's anteater
King of Satan, my friend
Pigs wet farts and private parts
Weeeeeeeee all the way home
Haiku # 63289 March 31, 2019 9:08 pm ET
by Stan of Here
King of Satan, my friend
Pigs wet farts and private parts
Weeeeeeeee all the way home
Haiku # 63288 March 31, 2019 9:08 pm ET
by Stan of Here
You forgot rum balls
A hole in your pants pocket
Sweet Tooth satisfied
Haiku # 63287 March 31, 2019 8:28 pm ET
by Looskoothi of Bus
Satan, Santa, Nastaa, Nestea, instant powdered shit evil buttfuckers chocolate guilty fat cookie eggnog jizz cookie eating destroyer of all that is good and holy... Pass another one of those pot brownies, dude.
Haiku # 63286 March 31, 2019 8:21 pm ET
by You know you love drugs, admit it!
Writing more poems
At the behest of Satan
I meant to say, Stan
Haiku # 63285 March 31, 2019 8:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Spring contemplation
Examining my undies
mud season again
Haiku # 63284 March 31, 2019 8:00 pm ET
by Rural Guido
Spring contemplation
Examining my undies
mud season again
Haiku # 63283 March 31, 2019 7:59 pm ET
by Rural Guido
International
Black autistic poetry
month is upon us!

Oooo, it's all sticky.
Oh, no, please God, get off!
It's smothering me!
Haiku # 63282 March 31, 2019 5:26 pm ET
by df
I'd rather have a
maxi pad with chicken wings.
Extra spicy, please.
Haiku # 63281 March 31, 2019 5:22 pm ET
by df
Everybody's got
Something to hide except for
Me and my monkey
Haiku # 63280 March 31, 2019 4:53 pm ET
by Charles Darwin of John Lennon's House
Hey Haiku misfits:
National Poetry Month
is soon upon us...

http://tinyurl.com/y4p7t3ev
Haiku # 63279 March 31, 2019 1:00 pm ET
by Useless Poetaster of April
Red Bull gives you wings.
Pour it on a maxi-pad.
Maxi pad with wings.
Haiku # 63278 March 31, 2019 12:49 pm ET
by df
Nothing helps my brain.
Perhaps I should by tampons.
Cerebral tampons.
Haiku # 63277 March 31, 2019 12:47 pm ET
by df
Personally I
prefer Bo Burnham's show "What?"
He's a crazy kid.
Haiku # 63276 March 31, 2019 3:05 am ET
by df
Got to watch Brass Eye
It's like Python on steroids
(from the mid 90s)

https://youtu.be/9rGI_-nKoJc
Haiku # 63275 March 30, 2019 9:03 pm ET
by Brit Humor Helps My Brain
Yes, I like Python.
I am not a fanatic.
But they are okay.

Just like lumberjacks.
Did you like their reunion?
Respect to the dead.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSgOKjvjSCY

First 10 minutes are worth watching.
You'll roll laughing.
Haiku # 63274 March 30, 2019 8:27 pm ET
by df
His own furry dog
Haiku # 63273 March 30, 2019 7:43 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Guy woke from a dream
Chewbacca giving him head
T
Haiku # 63272 March 30, 2019 7:42 pm ET
by Ray Bies
Darth you like Python?
I am surprised by this fact.
I saw them live once.
Haiku # 63271 March 30, 2019 7:29 pm ET
by NYC 1976 of Spanish Inquisition
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