Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 77 Days and 78049 Haiku later...
If Jesus did it,
I know you can do it too.
We're better than God.

Funny thing is that
we likely taste better too.
Bland bread and cheap wine.

I should bring squirt cheese
and a fifth of Thunderbird.
The priest would just shit!

Holy improvement!
He's never tasted better!
... Father forgive me.
Haiku # 53982 July 1, 2016 3:14 am ET
by df
Do not kill yourself.
That's an unforgiven sin.
Allow us to help.

We'll kill you instead.
Then we will cook and eat you.
You won't go to waste.

Fattened soft poets.
Juicier than Kobe beef.
Slow roasted all day.

Sizzling fat sounds.
The last whine you'll ever make.
The body and blood.
Haiku # 53981 July 1, 2016 3:05 am ET
by df is in nead of you to die for his sins.
the novelty has
worn off but over time it
can become some fun
Haiku # 53980 June 30, 2016 12:39 pm ET
by vhs
i'm going to whine
again, but not kill myself
this is irony
Haiku # 53979 June 30, 2016 12:30 pm ET
by vhs
I burned a haiku.
I wrote it down and lit it.
It screamed horribly.
Haiku # 53978 June 30, 2016 3:49 am ET
by df
I parked a booger.
Right upon the bathroom wall.
It was disgusting.

Though it's no surprise
that I then returned to find
many more boogers.

I counted seven.
It was a booger party.
Great minds think alike.

Haiku # 53977 June 30, 2016 3:45 am ET
by df

This cannot be seen.
An invisible haiku.
The first of its kind.
Haiku # 53976 June 30, 2016 3:35 am ET
by df
Why would I want that?
I do not want to be hard.
But my fat wife does.
Haiku # 53975 June 29, 2016 12:40 am ET
by Darth Figpucker likes to make an ass of himself.
Draw from the Dark Side.
Take power from others' pain.
Drink the tears of "friends".

Their incompetence
allows for opportunity
to find replacements.

Buy a meat grinder.
Keep it well-oiled and clean.
Use them for sausage.

Why aren't there any
cannibalistic Sith Lords?
I guess I'm the first.
Haiku # 53973 June 28, 2016 7:28 pm ET
by df of feel the hate, it gives you power!.... I farted.
apoplexia
serveth no purposeth
swingeth a wide dick
Haiku # 53971 June 27, 2016 10:56 pm ET
by Lush
may i submit joy
via jolly crapulence?
emasculate d(e)a[r]th
Haiku # 53970 June 27, 2016 10:54 pm ET
by Lush of interchangeable letters
ill lamentation
and self annihilation
have enslaved BH
Haiku # 53969 June 27, 2016 10:49 pm ET
by Lush
I feel not but shame.
To live on earth as human.
Better a tape worm.
Haiku # 53968 June 27, 2016 8:21 pm ET
by df
Hunter shot himself
to avoid a painful death,
not 'cause of Nixon!

"People have got to know whether or not their president's a chicken fucker. Well, I'm not a chicken fucker!" -- Nixon
Haiku # 53967 June 27, 2016 3:38 pm ET
by df
I made yo momma!
And then yo momma made you.
Luke, I'm yo daddy!

".... Aw, hell nawwwww!"
Haiku # 53966 June 27, 2016 3:33 pm ET
by df
to the one who must
compare to the other when
hunter s. thompson

saw nixon die then
did he blow his mind out in a
space of his own then

enemies defined
by one another, the point
others do not make

us
Haiku # 53965 June 27, 2016 1:10 pm ET
by vhs
Important Day - 04, July 2016 : Independence Day USA

All Quotes and Images site : Plusquotes.com
Haiku # 53964 June 27, 2016 10:44 am ET
by PlusTeam of USA
Incomplete sentence.
Self-referring poetry.
All merit voided.
Haiku # 53962 June 26, 2016 10:49 pm ET
by df
Why can't we all die?
Earth would be a better place.
No strip malls in sight.
Haiku # 53961 June 26, 2016 10:45 pm ET
by df
The vast ocean shore.
The crashing waves lullaby.
Singing to no one.
Haiku # 53960 June 26, 2016 10:45 pm ET
by df
after all these years
greg has the touch
still suave as fuck
Haiku # 53959 June 26, 2016 9:36 pm ET
by justforSU of /r/stevenuniverse
i miss gen x but
kurt cobain is dead and there's
a zeitgeist shift when

some voice passes on
others have to take their place
who will replace you?

Haiku # 53958 June 26, 2016 12:45 pm ET
by vhs
ego likes to talk
it lacks insight then it dies
what else to say here
Haiku # 53957 June 26, 2016 12:43 pm ET
by vhs
I am obnoxious.
That is an understatement
Poetry is dumb.
Haiku # 53956 June 26, 2016 7:15 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of The High Vogon Poetry Counsel
"Is she a squirter?"
Vaginal detonation,
what it should be called.
Haiku # 53955 June 26, 2016 6:53 am ET
by df
Marital hindrance.
Double arrow insertion.
Fucking molecules!
Haiku # 53954 June 26, 2016 6:51 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Saturday night blues
It's not something I would choose
Can't even drink booze
Haiku # 53953 June 26, 2016 2:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I tried MMA
It did not go very well
Got my ass kicked bad
Haiku # 53952 June 26, 2016 2:31 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I need a jet pack.
But Amazon or Ebay?
What do you suggest?
Haiku # 53951 June 26, 2016 1:50 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Christ, you're a pussy.
A whiny little bitch-boy.
Go get a sex change.

On the other hand,
To expect more from poets,
That is just stupid.

To man the fuck up,
it is just not possible,
not for a poet.
Haiku # 53950 June 26, 2016 1:44 am ET
by df
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Haiku # 53949 June 25, 2016 2:15 pm ET
by David of New York, NY
one man takes over
a haiku website and ads
and i post here too
Haiku # 53948 June 25, 2016 1:41 pm ET
by vhs
I have your child.
But that's the way life goes, Ace.
I'll name him Barrack.

Yours,
Amy
Haiku # 53947 June 24, 2016 9:08 pm ET
by Amy the Whore
This is for a girl I slept with who didn't tell me she was dating my best friend. No one speaks to her anymore.

Amy, a raging whore.
Lying on back with legs spread.
You are not missed.
Haiku # 53946 June 24, 2016 7:15 pm ET
by Ace of Louisville KY
Customers file in
Mop, stock, check, and sell crack pipes
Convenience store blues
Haiku # 53943 June 23, 2016 6:11 pm ET
by Partial Recall of USA
This is a small font.
You can barely make it out.
Ha ha fucking ha.
Haiku # 53942 June 23, 2016 6:40 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
My wife is too fat.
Some young stud take her from me.
I'll make it worth it.
Haiku # 53941 June 23, 2016 6:36 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
So much work to do.
And see what I am doing.
I should be fired.
Haiku # 53940 June 22, 2016 10:55 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Vector curvature.
Unit tangent binormal.
huh huh; "binormal".

Yeah, yeah, that was cool.
Heh heh, and you said "unit".
Boi-oi-oi-oi-oinng!
Haiku # 53938 June 21, 2016 6:20 pm ET
by Beavis and Butthead
measured charisma
engorged, targeted chasm
finessed curvature
Haiku # 53937 June 21, 2016 5:16 am ET
by Lush
a past commander
penetrating hot targets
has my surrender
Haiku # 53936 June 21, 2016 5:08 am ET
by Lush
Reciprocity
though quaint enough a concept
needn't apply here
Haiku # 53935 June 21, 2016 5:06 am ET
by Lush
Do the polite thing.
Please give Bill a reach-around.
Though he won't for you.
Haiku # 53934 June 21, 2016 3:30 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
despite STDs
i'd fuck WJC
'til the cow comes home
Haiku # 53933 June 20, 2016 10:31 pm ET
by Lush of Hilary's ShitList
please make my breath stink
as "hail to the chief" plays on
then analingus
Haiku # 53932 June 20, 2016 10:27 pm ET
by Lush of The Oval Orifice
Some men fuck chickens.
Thus they're called chicken fuckers.
Yet they don't approve.
Haiku # 53931 June 18, 2016 7:33 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
I should not write this.
But, of course, you know I will.
See, now it is done.
Haiku # 53929 June 17, 2016 8:35 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
What an honor!
Presidential scrotal sweat!
Please bang my wife next.
Haiku # 53928 June 17, 2016 3:49 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
My balls are stinky.
I wiped them on her pillow.
Will her husband know?
Haiku # 53927 June 17, 2016 2:22 am ET
by President Bill Clinton
A car is a wheeled, self-propelled motor vehicle used for transporting and a product of the automotive industry.
Haiku # 53926 June 17, 2016 1:13 am ET
by Benz Patent of NY