Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 77 Days and 78050 Haiku later...
the world is falling
apart in some shape or form
and people don't care
Haiku # 53690 April 15, 2016 11:40 am ET
by vhs
I've heard that story
before, history repeats
and we all grow old

complain about change
see our world fade to shadow
get housed, retired
Haiku # 53689 April 15, 2016 11:10 am ET
by vhs
Cheap Florida land
Quick access to clean beaches
Retirement tomb
Haiku # 53688 April 15, 2016 1:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
had to deal with the
Great Old One before, sort of
scared him back to R'yleh
Haiku # 53687 April 14, 2016 9:37 pm ET
by vhs
Needle, the damage
Done. Massive damage done.
My name is Amy.
Haiku # 53686 April 14, 2016 5:17 pm ET
by Barry of Barryville
My butt is bleeding,
Whores are laughing. Long haul
truckers' life is hell.
Haiku # 53685 April 14, 2016 3:36 pm ET
by Nenad of Belgrade
Delirious screams,
Abominable orgies.
Chtulhu is rising.
Haiku # 53684 April 14, 2016 3:16 pm ET
by Nenad of Belgrade
all things must come to
an end good or bad or both
peace and war, two words
Haiku # 53683 April 14, 2016 12:17 pm ET
by vhs
in college i had
a girl with a karoke
stereo and she would

have her Elmo toy
magnify through the speakers
THAT TICKLES HEE HEE!!!

i lost my temper
and broke her Footprints poem, and
1990s memories
Haiku # 53682 April 14, 2016 12:00 pm ET
by vhs of talk about hitting the wall
well we will vouch for
you as we surely do have
insanity here

have to look out for
each other and Elmo you
know, that tickles...hee hee
Haiku # 53681 April 14, 2016 11:57 am ET
by vhs
Run naked through a
fancy restaurant with a
Tickle Me Elmo.

The doll's optional,
but helps your insanity
plea if you get caught.
Haiku # 53680 April 14, 2016 7:11 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Enjambment is when
a sentence continues from
one line to the next.

This is frowned on in
traditional poetry,
but here no one cares.
Haiku # 53679 April 14, 2016 7:05 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
words fly like drunk birds
both funny and pathetic
somewhat poetic
Haiku # 53678 April 14, 2016 1:11 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
My God, I am old!
It's gotten to the point that
I don't like pooping.

I need a nurse aide.
She could give me enemas
at least twice a day.
Haiku # 53677 April 13, 2016 10:33 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker = f ' of x
colonic bugle
calling the troops left behind
heroic actions
Haiku # 53676 April 13, 2016 7:25 pm ET
by ash
Don't do LSD
You will forget how to count
Lose your effing mind
Haiku # 53675 April 13, 2016 7:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
i come on here and
i wonder what will be next
where the story goes
Haiku # 53672 April 13, 2016 3:13 pm ET
by vhs
perhaps district nine
will become a reality
but space bugs? really??

quite the story for
a metaphor on south of
africa, you know
Haiku # 53671 April 13, 2016 11:36 am ET
by vhs
LSD is
a minuscule molecule
that packs a big punch.
Haiku # 53670 April 13, 2016 9:47 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
We will all be killed.
By a giant meteor.
All problems thus solved.

Trump should build a wall.
Around the entire Earth.
ALIENS STAY OUT!
Haiku # 53668 April 12, 2016 8:54 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of 42 10101
relief, the taste of
something simple as yogurt
and the words shall flow
Haiku # 53667 April 12, 2016 3:46 pm ET
by vhs
Hello!
Haiku # 53666 April 12, 2016 2:55 pm ET
by ptiepepy of USA
Stupid reCaptcha.
"Could not open socket", eh?
We'll see about that.
Haiku # 53665 April 12, 2016 1:17 pm ET
by Adam
be an optimist
all of the worlds worst problems
will solve themselves
Haiku # 53664 April 11, 2016 9:02 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Nose-riding surfers.
How dare they defy physics!
Arrogant bastards.
Haiku # 53663 April 11, 2016 8:40 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
How many midget
Philippino prostitutes
does it take to (blank)?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Forty-two.
Haiku # 53662 April 10, 2016 5:21 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
How about this one:
What did the epileptic
leper say to the

Mexican gynecologist?
Haiku # 53661 April 10, 2016 5:17 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I should write something.
I can't think of anything.
My mind is a blank.
Haiku # 53660 April 10, 2016 5:09 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
and then i get the
slang on vanilla lives what
does he really do?????
Haiku # 53659 April 10, 2016 2:12 pm ET
by vhs
yes i just noticed
the bad grammar, but post to
post, editors rule

we've none here right now, hence all the spam etc
Haiku # 53658 April 10, 2016 1:11 pm ET
by vhs
laughing, cackle, cough
ahem, very funny now
i need to post this
Haiku # 53657 April 10, 2016 1:09 pm ET
by vhs
I don't believe it.
Your bad grammar is catching.
Did you notice it?
Haiku # 53654 April 9, 2016 6:11 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Oh, Christ, vhs!
I just took His name in vain.
You're grammar needs work.

It cracks me up when people... not you vhs, but other people... write "Praise Jesus" or something on a bathroom wall. I just wonder, does Jesus really want to be praised while I'm taking a dump? I seriously doubt it. There is a time and place for everything. Worship and tending to bodily business ought to be separate. Don't you think?

So I often reply to religious bathroom stall graffiti with "I don't think Jesus wants to be praised while your pooping! Be respectful!"
Haiku # 53653 April 9, 2016 6:07 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
ok so we're old men
`at a sort of internet
"bar" posting haiku...

keep posting assholes (for Mel Brooks)
Haiku # 53652 April 9, 2016 1:22 pm ET
by vhs of you're proud christian asshole
When you're getting old
never waste an erection.
SWEEEE!!! SU-SU-SU-EEEEE!!!!
Haiku # 53651 April 9, 2016 12:34 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Never waste a fart.
Chateau du Flatus popped cork.
{SNIIIFFFFFF} What a good year!
Haiku # 53649 April 9, 2016 12:24 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
defend your acre
prove you are no forsaker
cowards be ye all
Haiku # 53648 April 9, 2016 5:20 am ET
by Eye in the Sky of you lie
easy to predict
like animals responding
sing song light my bong
Haiku # 53647 April 9, 2016 2:26 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Did Darth just pass gas?
Putting it in a sealed jar
Save it for later
Haiku # 53646 April 9, 2016 1:48 am ET
by Eye in the Sky
Did Janis pass on?
If so, may she rest in peace.
If not, never mind.
Haiku # 53645 April 8, 2016 9:06 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Testicular zits.
They are itchy and painful.
Like reading this site.
Haiku # 53644 April 8, 2016 9:01 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
yes i have a thing
for Poison Ivy, the girl
from Batman with a

symbol for ladies
who like other ladies oh
harley quinn!!! shameless
Haiku # 53642 April 7, 2016 8:56 pm ET
by vhs
oh betwixt here and
there somehow they just keep
coming, net kudzu

"hi so sorry to be happy so happy to be sorry i am happy that i am sorry for being happy"
Haiku # 53641 April 7, 2016 8:52 pm ET
by vhs
Hi jains, thanks for your site: ) Sure great webpage for friends communication, have you forgot me, Emily, welcome to our homepage again:) Don't worry, this is not spam :)
Haiku # 53640 April 7, 2016 2:11 pm ET
by Emily of San Jose
do i need to sit
down and watch hollyweird crap
mars needs women not

mars needs robocop.
will i quote obscure movies
is obscure ideal?
Haiku # 53639 April 7, 2016 12:39 pm ET
by vhs
do you want to kill
this place? too much has died and
too much forgotten
Haiku # 53638 April 7, 2016 9:40 am ET
by vhs
it's like dealing with
the guy who can't sit still in
class and he ends up

in the principals.
can't sit still, throws paper planes
ends up in juve.
Haiku # 53637 April 7, 2016 9:38 am ET
by vhs
How much wood would a
woodchuck chuck if woochucks chuck
If woodchucks could chuck wood?
Haiku # 53636 April 7, 2016 7:49 am ET
by Scootz of Rhode Island
We need explosions.
Laser beams and naked girls.
3D blood and gor.

Free beer would work well.
Free anything would be fine.
Free Charles Manson!
Haiku # 53635 April 6, 2016 5:35 pm ET
by Darth Figpubker
Your lines are mundane.
I see old Japanese ghosts.
They roll in their graves.
Haiku # 53634 April 6, 2016 11:55 am ET
by Darth Figpucker