Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 77 Days and 78052 Haiku later...
We have just one Earth
We have a duty to save
Just kidding that's gay
Haiku # 53451 March 9, 2016 9:48 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
No way Rick, my man.
I would give you twelve fifty.
Do not cheat yourself.
Haiku # 53450 March 9, 2016 9:29 am ET
by vhs
I am disgusted.
With all of the human race.
Myself included.

But moreso poets.
I'd bomb poetry readings
if I cared enough.

But I'm too lazy.
An apathetic worm jizz.
Assuming they jizz.
Haiku # 53447 March 9, 2016 3:19 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of The Anti-Poetry Liberation Front
you're a troll, and your
words are just designed to make
people get wound up

death will come when it
does, sooner, or later but not
till our time is due
Haiku # 53446 March 9, 2016 12:27 am ET
by vhs
You should fucking die
Suck and chop your dick off please
Gulping down the bleach
Haiku # 53445 March 8, 2016 9:11 pm ET
by That motherfucker of Chiraq, Drillinois
Kim Kardashian
She's not a fucking hero
It's a naked pic

She's a god damn whore
If anyone else posted nudes
It wouldn't go well

Haiku # 53444 March 8, 2016 7:45 pm ET
by Rick Snyder has IBS
I've buried myself,
my grave in a world of shit
where nothing will grow.
Haiku # 53443 March 8, 2016 5:59 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I'll ignore all that
I have to say goodbye to
an old friend of mine
Haiku # 53440 March 8, 2016 2:30 pm ET
by vhs
tasteless and tired
the edge is nothing new but
it starts new old things
Haiku # 53437 March 8, 2016 11:39 am ET
by vhs
monoculture virus
catch a deteroration
what word is that scratch
Haiku # 53435 March 8, 2016 10:49 am ET
by vhs
Trump grump hump dump clump
bump lump stump rump jump pump slump
chump thump plump sump frump.

I'm glad I'm not Trump.
Use them all in a sentence.
I would hump Trump's rump.
Haiku # 53433 March 8, 2016 8:13 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Happy Women's Day!
Now get back in the kitchen,
and make a sammich!
Haiku # 53426 March 7, 2016 11:35 am ET
by vhs
I would hump Trump's rump
on a stump with Forrest Gump
'til he takes a dump.

Trump was my landlord.
I paid him with anal sex.
His ass was not tight.
Haiku # 53425 March 7, 2016 8:54 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Sinking to new depths.
Lower than hell's outhouse pits.
And smelling better.
Haiku # 53424 March 7, 2016 8:46 am ET
by Darth Figpucker is the master of masturbation
Sitting on The Hill,
to awaken I must have
artificial means.

Extract of rare fruits,
quite similar to cocaine,
not yet illegal.

Don't chase the dragon.
Catch that motherfucker and
fuck his scaly ass!
Haiku # 53423 March 6, 2016 9:46 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker.
The watery grave,
with all its slime and creatures,
brings me back to life.

So I'm a pervert.
Snorkeling for ocean slime
with which to jack off.

It's way better than
doing autoerotic
asphyxiation.
Haiku # 53422 March 6, 2016 9:37 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I am not gay, but...
Donald Trump has a cute mouth.
That's not hair product.
Haiku # 53421 March 6, 2016 9:28 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I know who you are.
Voracious Herpes Simplex.
You keep coming back.
Haiku # 53420 March 6, 2016 9:26 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Never read his shit.
I masturbate in your face.
You keep coming back.
Haiku # 53419 March 6, 2016 6:34 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
bukowski was the
master, I think you are just
masturbating here
Haiku # 53418 March 6, 2016 1:31 pm ET
by vhs
and what one loses
for art sometimes, the ear and
sometimes sanity
Haiku # 53417 March 6, 2016 1:23 pm ET
by vhs
the mirror reflects
the beast within so show
where the wolf lyeth
Haiku # 53416 March 6, 2016 1:21 pm ET
by vhs
This website is dumb.
Insects are high in protein.
And you are just high.
Haiku # 53415 March 6, 2016 9:44 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Just the two if us
We can make it if we try
So I say goodbye
Haiku # 53414 March 6, 2016 4:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Me and My Shadow
That's the theme song for DF
Nobody else here
Haiku # 53413 March 5, 2016 9:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
All nude female
ultimate fighting champion
drop-kick pussy-shot.
Haiku # 53412 March 4, 2016 10:19 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Asians wear dust masks.
It's not for smog or virus.
That's just what they do.
Haiku # 53411 March 3, 2016 3:14 am ET
by Darth Figpucker is in dire need of 3 weeks of sleep.
She came willingly.
And then she came willingly.
Please don't tell my wife.
Haiku # 53410 March 2, 2016 5:19 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
We are Liverpool
From Shankly to Lallana
And all in-between
Haiku # 53409 March 2, 2016 3:13 pm ET
by Peter of California
Roasting Marshmallows
aside Hell's Lake of Fire,
singing songs by Queen.
Haiku # 53408 March 2, 2016 7:13 am ET
by Darth Figpucker. The tortures of Hell are not so bad as they say.
"I can smell your cunt!"
Hissed Multiple Miggs through bars.
"I myself cannot."
Haiku # 53407 March 2, 2016 7:09 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Sunny D Orange Drink.
Mac and cheese and Spam sandwich.
Kraft and Rainbow Bread.
Haiku # 53406 March 2, 2016 7:06 am ET
by Darth Figpucker, the master chef of Walnut Ave. Trailer Park, Newark NJ
Her soul ripped apart.
Babies' screams cut through the night.
Leaving nothing else.
Haiku # 53405 March 2, 2016 7:02 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Donald Trump's wet dream.
He is four hundred feet tall.
And butt-ass naked.

He scoops people up.
And shoves them right up his ass.
This will now happen.
Haiku # 53404 March 1, 2016 8:27 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Impending evil.
Dreams are more vivid than life.
How did this happen?

She looks delicious.
I'll drag her into my dreams.
Kicking and screaming.
Haiku # 53403 February 29, 2016 11:58 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
What a bunch of shit!
You've said that how many times?
Please, go already!

But before you leave,
please take one of these with you:
PAARRROOTOOT PATOOT!

That was a huge fart.
Dinosauric gas blast.
Ginormous flatus.
Haiku # 53402 February 29, 2016 4:29 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I'll not be back, I've
seen the light at the end of
the tunnel, train...bye
Haiku # 53401 February 29, 2016 12:08 pm ET
by vhs
burroughs did it
he called it Naked Lunch, I
should smack you sir. worse

I should pray for you.
Yes the old Chrijistsm bug
at least I'm not OHMing
Haiku # 53400 February 29, 2016 11:37 am ET
by vhs
I dream of prison,
of capture and punishment
for horrific crimes.

Upon my waking
The world seems ethereal;
I become a ghost.

I waken to this...
mundane caffeinated haze.
I am nobody.
Haiku # 53399 February 29, 2016 1:44 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Science is a lie.
Chem book say "You have 3 moles
of IF3 gas."

I don't have 3 moles
of iodine trifluoride
and I never did!

Presumptive assholes!
I mean, who the fuck has that?
Thank God they aren't cops!

You're under arrest!
You have 50 grams of coke!
Because we said so!

Stupid ass science.
I'll go back to the Bible.
Raining frogs; why not!
Haiku # 53398 February 28, 2016 5:31 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker is not the owner of IF3
well I want to see
other people also post
haiku besides you

and myself here, just
I might have to drag some fet
people into here
Haiku # 53397 February 28, 2016 12:37 pm ET
by vhs
is this some guys long
on going project to himself
haiku on dark net?
Haiku # 53396 February 28, 2016 12:28 pm ET
by vhs
That is just so wrong.
You've crossed way over the line.
Never plant tulips!
Haiku # 53395 February 28, 2016 6:06 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Hey! Don't you forget,
Tomorrow is extra day
Use it for poems...

or masturbation
or burying the bodies
or cleaning gutters

or calling parents
or returning stolen sheep
or planting tulips






Haiku # 53394 February 28, 2016 2:26 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Procrastination,
Sterilization Without
Representation
Haiku # 53393 February 28, 2016 2:12 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
Men who fuck chickens,
contrary to what they say,
are chicken fuckers.

You would do well to
Remember that when you vote.
Plus Trump has dumb hair.
Haiku # 53392 February 27, 2016 8:08 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Ukiah's a town
in Northern California.
They don't write haiku.
Haiku # 53391 February 27, 2016 8:03 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
You donut puncher.
Bavarian filled choco.
Traffic cop's bitch boy.
Haiku # 53390 February 27, 2016 7:55 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Now is the time for
all good men to come to the
aid of their country.
Haiku # 53389 February 27, 2016 3:16 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Palau
boo! out of donuts
cry in artisanal beer
our startup lifestyle
Haiku # 53388 February 26, 2016 8:05 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA