Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 77 Days and 78053 Haiku later...
Dog turd on the ground.
It had no footprint in it.
Until I passed by.
Haiku # 53348 February 18, 2016 6:56 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker is a waste of oxygen.
well then we get to
the point where people enjoy
being spanked, fun huh
Haiku # 53346 February 18, 2016 3:02 pm ET
by vhs
Yeah, too late for that.
Some people are born boring.
They need to be spanked.
Haiku # 53345 February 18, 2016 2:48 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
there comes a time when
excess gets old and folks are
dead or survivors

scott weyland is dead
david grohl is not dead he
is still going now

either i will die
or i will survive and i
will become boring

if I'm not already
Haiku # 53344 February 18, 2016 2:12 pm ET
by vhs
well i suspect what
i find here is a bit of just
setting words in place
Haiku # 53343 February 18, 2016 2:08 pm ET
by vhs
I'd say about now.
If you want meaning in life,
you're in the wrong place.
Haiku # 53342 February 18, 2016 11:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
at what point does one
say fuck it and hang up the phone
and give up on this?
Haiku # 53341 February 18, 2016 11:00 am ET
by vhs
There's nothing wrong with
sexual attraction to
different species.

Panda bears are hot.
While goats and sheep are common.
Who's banged jellyfish?

That is what I thought.
My originality
cannot be beaten!

Seriously though.
I'm sure some Japanese chef
has beat me to it.
Haiku # 53340 February 18, 2016 5:58 am ET
by Darth Figpucker.
My band played a club
the night after GWAR played there.
Green room was sticky.
Haiku # 53339 February 17, 2016 11:28 pm ET
by Eye shit hue knot. Memories of 1998
Trump wants the White House
so that he can screw us all...
and hot Russian girls.
Haiku # 53338 February 17, 2016 4:11 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker.
All joking aside,
Hillary wants the White House
to screw an intern.

Revenge is a dish
best written about in the
US Daily News.
Haiku # 53337 February 17, 2016 3:45 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker.
Good one 335!
Makes it goes shopping indeed!
That's hilarious!

Okay, so it's metal.
That's the topic of the week.
So who has seen GWAR?

I'm not into them;
they're somewhat juvenile.
but they make me laugh.

Though he's an old fart,
vhs likes ICP.
He's true Juggalo.
Haiku # 53336 February 17, 2016 3:41 pm ET
by Lord Figpucker
I admit I like
dr. dre and snoop dogg and
I'm a white boy from

new England and
miss the Chronic and most of
my music is like

Judas Priest love.
random plays like Beck so why
they don't kill me babe
Haiku # 53333 February 16, 2016 11:49 am ET
by vhs
when someone famous
sits on the toilet is it
the same shit AS you

anyone else want
to save shit, shit happens my
poo to you my shoe?
Haiku # 53332 February 16, 2016 11:46 am ET
by she said my punch out number was 666
hentai monster in
cartoon fools with girl then she
makes it go shopping.

romantic slime toons
monstergirls, murikami
would have a field day
Haiku # 53331 February 16, 2016 11:44 am ET
by 335
fine you break the social
water figuratively giving
birth to the latest

outrage and I want
to comment on the outrage
of course I've seen that crap
Haiku # 53330 February 16, 2016 11:43 am ET
by vhs
Excessive liquor.
No more a human being.
Merely solution.
Haiku # 53329 February 16, 2016 1:22 am ET
by Darth Funk As Druck Figpucker of Keep your pets inside tonight.
If you can't surf 'em,
I don't want to hear 'bout 'em.
Gravity waves. Bah!
Haiku # 53328 February 15, 2016 6:04 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
to stop it bursting
when they fuck a small chicken
they use a hentai
Haiku # 53327 February 15, 2016 7:52 am ET
by ash of devil's rejects visit japan
so gravity waves
and albert einstein waves back
not so autistic
Haiku # 53326 February 15, 2016 7:17 am ET
by ash
What's a real haiku?
I don't know, but this is not.
I'd like to see one.

Are they exclusive
to the Japanese Language?
Just like Anime?

Who likes hentai porn?
Seen Urotsukidoji?
That's some gruesome shit!

Google vid search for
the uncensored version of
above mentioned film.
Haiku # 53325 February 14, 2016 7:56 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Why are Japanese so perverse and act as though it's normal. Perhaps I should go live there.
don't have time for this
right now, write mocking haiku
If you must but i'm

giving this a break for
a week or so, it's too cold
and real life is on
Haiku # 53324 February 14, 2016 1:54 pm ET
by vhs
You are a bigot!
Kaitlyn Jenner is a brave
and hot young woman.
Haiku # 53323 February 14, 2016 12:34 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
"Oh my dear Figgy,
You pleasure me so much," said
no woman ever
Haiku # 53322 February 14, 2016 12:20 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I don't like "df".
I prefer "Darth Figpucker".
Or "Lord Figpucker".

I will let you choose.
Or you can call me "Figgy",
whispered in my ear.

Happy VD Day.
Hope you enjoy your VD.
Say hi to the nurse.

County health clinics
are great places to meet your
future baby spouse.
Haiku # 53321 February 14, 2016 6:40 am ET
by Lord Darth Figpucker, the Highly Inappropriate and Maker of Uncalled for Remarks. of Buy Chocolates at Lady Godiva's... Bitches love chocolate!
It is unlikely
that a haiku can reference
probability.

But for a haiku
to make reference to itself
is rather common.

Most trashy poets
will resort to this as a
bad comic relief.

See, I proved my point.
Just like your sister and mom;
Quite Easily Done.
Haiku # 53320 February 14, 2016 6:30 am ET
by df of Quod Erat Demonstrandum
I am half awake.
I suppose I'm half asleep.
My penis is not.
Haiku # 53319 February 13, 2016 5:11 pm ET
by df of Happy Valentine's Day
Hell is certainly
Existing girl in a porn
Snorting angel dust
Haiku # 53318 February 13, 2016 5:08 pm ET
by df of does anyone still snort PCP? Or has that fad fortuanately passed?
Bliss is probably
Existential Unicorns
Farting fairy dust
Haiku # 53317 February 13, 2016 2:32 pm ET
by Mandingo Ebola
haiku collection
far greater than the sumbits
and far worse than bad
Haiku # 53316 February 13, 2016 1:26 am ET
by ash
people who were once
lively jump ship and leave their
message boards blank
Haiku # 53315 February 12, 2016 1:23 pm ET
by vhs
who is on the end
of the other screen, when does
that voice fade away?
Haiku # 53314 February 12, 2016 1:00 pm ET
by vhs of you can't rewind
Oh, you just don't know!
The expansionist commies
are coming for you.
Haiku # 53313 February 11, 2016 6:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
scowls
Haiku # 53312 February 11, 2016 12:31 pm ET
by vhs
A major virus
is needed to cleanse the world.
More so in China.
Haiku # 53311 February 10, 2016 8:08 pm ET
by df of Chinese hotdogs made from zika babies. Criminal sapitalism hiding under a red flag.
location some place
on the earth anywhere, earth
library, laptop

cell phone, clunky thing
pc still running windows xp
a snapshot of a

life posted here now
Haiku # 53310 February 10, 2016 3:02 pm ET
by vhs
it becomes a huge
competition between one
weirdo and weirdo

keeping the so called
normal people out who suck
anyways with their lack

of humanity, fear
of being seen as weird and of
course taking human

lives to be seen as
part of a bigger whole that
satanic extroversion

ruling america
Haiku # 53309 February 10, 2016 12:37 pm ET
by vhs
sometimes sanity
is saved by insanity
believe and be saved

by French fries, wal mart
capitalism and the
dead things of this world
Haiku # 53308 February 10, 2016 12:24 pm ET
by vhs
Oh, shit, I'm sorry!
I sandwiched the wrong person.
A drive-by food fight.
Haiku # 53307 February 10, 2016 6:30 am ET
by df
Bum Fights is my fave.
Next would be blowing shit up.
And ancient tunnels.

Perhaps that last one
explains my current marriage.
Ooo.. that was so bad.
Haiku # 53306 February 10, 2016 6:20 am ET
by df
Reaches in the fridge.
Slaps vhs with foot long.
Sub sandwich that is.
Haiku # 53305 February 10, 2016 6:16 am ET
by df
Insanity Now!
Release me from my demons,
or give me sandwich.
Haiku # 53304 February 10, 2016 1:13 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
top five weird shit on
youtube videos when I
used to watch that show

alive from off
center and street of those say
alligators gave me

nightmares. then the band
tool showed up with prison sex
nostalgia for weird

church of the subgenius
and or truly weird sections
when the net was the

underground

disinfo
Haiku # 53303 February 9, 2016 11:57 pm ET
by vhs
apparently a dead
chicken in a you tube vid
is an alien body

mysteriously
found located on the edge
of a woods somewhere
Haiku # 53302 February 9, 2016 10:23 pm ET
by vhs
I keep using these
mibbit chats and the ads are
for Arabic or

Russian girlfriends
or some other sundry ad
or cookie junk mail
Haiku # 53301 February 9, 2016 10:05 pm ET
by vhs
whatever the reason
and whatever the purpose
I am somewhat amused
Haiku # 53300 February 9, 2016 10:01 pm ET
by vhs
I'm trying to find
nude pictures of Hillary
Clinton. Don't ask why.
Haiku # 53299 February 9, 2016 8:53 pm ET
by df
sometimes though it will
become necessary to let
people go and go

into refelction
letting old people go in
their habits and let

the ballast sink and
fly on with wings of black and
leather, horns of onyx
Haiku # 53298 February 9, 2016 2:15 pm ET
by vhs
Hillary Clinton
wants to become president
to sleep with interns.
Haiku # 53297 February 9, 2016 4:19 am ET
by df
I use two napkins
One for lap and one for mouth
Maybe one for nose
Haiku # 53296 February 8, 2016 5:17 pm ET
by Shirley Smothers