brace your tender hearts
tonight we storm the castle
wearing lobster suits

Fuck Halloween
Give out chocolate laxatives
Fuck little kids too

my obsession is
talking rodents in space ships
they could be my friends

Your obsession is
Homosexuality
Please get over it

Having bad day, huh?
Make fun of clowns, they get paid
For their awful lives

Eat beans on a boat.
Raft and fart are anagrams.
The catfish don't mind.

wash your dirty hands
rinse away your filthy day
never getting clean

That last haiku was
Sad as a fucking gay clown
Holy depression.

post here over and
over till you become the one
voice who posts stuff here

Jerk off in steak house
Upset the hibachi chef
He no like my meat

I sport the pants tent
My boner has the fury
Third related thing

I sport the pants tent
My boner has the fury
Third related thing

more than ten years gone
awful as anything good
five seven five

What coincidence?
Time will fuck you upside down
Lather, rinse, repeat

We accept defeat
Goober sledgehammer spammer
Where the fuck are you

Now that you found us
Instead of your heart and mind
Open your asshole

found a haiku site
my heart and mind opened to
viagara posts

The ultimate poem:

It is so profound.
There is nothing left to say.
My life is complete.

I'll now retire.
And go live on a small farm.
Fucking pigs and goats.

You are a dumb fool
My mother is Ursula
All hail the sea witch!

Cool tenticle porn
Because squids have eight long cocks
Inside of your mom

You've met my mother.
You're implying your palm stinks.
Don't jack off so much.

Got to know your mom
Her farts are like nerve gas bomb
Better than my palm

Did Jesus spray poop
when he had died on the cross?
Bloody holy shit!

I'm not shocked by cock.
Door-busting twat would amaze.
Wife material!

News paper headline:
A house that was locked
Bust open with rock hard cock
Family left shocked

Which is worse to be?
A spooge covered poop monster?
Or poopey spooge beast?

Get to know haiku.
The girls will squirt over you.
I'm seriously!

He who masturbates
at least fifteen times per day
has life well in hand.

Get to know your ass.
Fill it full of broken glass.
You'll bleed like a lass.

Get to know your sock
Fill it full of tiny rocks
Put it on your cock

Get to know your fish
Understand it's deepest wish
Cooked up in a dish

Family meals hurt
When dad says you should have been
Just an old cum stain

I just got fired.
Being a Wal-Mart greeter
is too demanding.

Broken heart
Forever shattered
What to do

Grab watermelon
With her face drawn upon it
Plastic wrap my dick

Make mouth hole
Shove dick inside it
Blow my load

Gay bar pick-up line:
Whose dick do I have to suck
to suck a dick here?

--Bo Burnham

It's all fun and games
Until you get dick in mouth
Then it's a party

I asked a gay man,
"Which do you think is better,
coming out or in?"

It is only gay
If it doesnt feel awesome
But I can't be sure

Don't fucking do it!
Writing haiku means you're gay!
You'll be sucking dicks!

today i was bored
and got a real bad idea--
i should write haiku!

Bad poerty, man.
Spammers eat my shit and die
Fix the site, Janis.

good poerty man. hallu forte

Glue ass together
Take a pack of laxatives
Human poop fountain

ranting lunatics
degenerate idiots
we all have our faults

My ball sack
Has many children
Please receive

Hi There! Read my spam.
It's an awesome article
all about dog poop

high five austraya
farewell ex-prime minister
and not soon enough

Stuck in F.Y.E.
Beautiful woman watches
I have huge boner

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