Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 55 Days and 78008 Haiku later...
Free root canals from
my robot proctologist
make me have bad breath.
Haiku # 74137 December 5, 2021 5:35 pm ET
by Kiss me, you fool!
My robot dentist
Offers free rectal exams
Makes me so happy
Haiku # 74136 December 5, 2021 2:56 pm ET
by Arthur Denton
Here, I'll hold your balls
You concentrate on coughing
(Robot malfunctions)

Screams and clunking sounds
Robot Physician death grip
Uprooted penis
Haiku # 74135 December 5, 2021 2:30 pm ET
by Robot of Medical Centre
you know i stuck here
for the argument and to
be accepted then.

i sort of moved on
like establishing closure
over internet, stuff
Haiku # 74134 December 5, 2021 1:56 pm ET
by vhs
I would hang myself
if I could transmit the smell
of post-mortem poo.

To think, posting farts
as easy as posting this.
Metaverse awaits!
Haiku # 74133 December 5, 2021 12:55 pm ET
by Technoseology. of "Transmitting smell-o-gram." 3, 2, 1...
Black bean and brown rice.
Spicy garlic tuna eggs.
Can I share with you?

The farts, not the food.
VR smell simulator.
Come to my "meta".
Haiku # 74132 December 5, 2021 12:50 pm ET
by This is the future! of The future is now!
I love the future.
Computers will think for us.
We write fart poems.

As we vegetate
computers decide our fate.
It's the beans I ate.

Corona virus?!
Escape with VR headset.
Order beans online.

A tube's in my ass.
It's sucking out all my gas.
Powers my PC.
Haiku # 74131 December 5, 2021 12:46 pm ET
by You're Welcome
It's karaoke.
That means: it's KARA, o.k.?
So step up and SING.
Haiku # 74129 December 4, 2021 7:50 pm ET
by I Will Blow You Away of My Shameful Humiliation
Miniscule haiku,
Intense and MASSIVE impact:
My five-seven-five.
Haiku # 74128 December 4, 2021 5:51 pm ET
by Line of Lines of URRRRRRPPP
The electric ass
Roasts your baloney like fries
And chairs your weiner.
Haiku # 74124 December 4, 2021 10:27 am ET
by Chairperson of Baloney Dept.
It's call and response.
African call and response.
That's what it is, Lord.
Haiku # 74123 December 4, 2021 10:21 am ET
by Syncopation of Aryan Nation
Elves live in my brain.
They all had diarrhea.
This haiku came out.
Haiku # 74121 December 4, 2021 10:11 am ET
by Literary septic rupture.
Darth, should I watch the new South Park?
Haiku # 74120 December 4, 2021 10:05 am ET
by your friend, Starkitten
After I wrote this
I wiped hard seventeen times
but it's still dirty.
Haiku # 74119 December 4, 2021 10:03 am ET
by OCD of PNW
The electric chair
fries your ass like baloney
and roasts your weiner
Haiku # 74118 December 4, 2021 9:57 am ET
by Reddy Kilowatt of Power Lunch
Moxie, you know what?
You are way too sensitive.
But prolly good guy.
Haiku # 74117 December 4, 2021 9:55 am ET
by Allies Needed to Bully Bullies
I can suggests to
visit to you a site which
are many question.
Haiku # 74116 December 4, 2021 9:49 am ET
by Asian Bot of Needs ESOL Classes
Your haiku are bad.
Your testicles are rancid.
You're a samurai.
Haiku # 74115 December 4, 2021 9:20 am ET
by really!
Ahem: Breeze of dusk
Pale lotus floats below bridge.
Shrine lanterns lit. Burp.
Haiku # 74114 December 4, 2021 9:19 am ET
by I Wish I was Lit of But it's not 11:30 am yet...
But seriously,
Haiku's unsustainable;
Releases methane.
Haiku # 74113 December 4, 2021 9:15 am ET
by Hunter Biden of Ukrainian National Gas Board of Erectors
Hey Greta Thunberg:
your haiku is APPALLING.
Take a fucking walk.
Haiku # 74112 December 4, 2021 9:11 am ET
by But Please Do Not Swear of The Kids Are Asleep
Oh sire, dark tidings:
the foe is now at our gate
and wants ta git DOWN.
Haiku # 74111 December 4, 2021 9:09 am ET
by Bassline with Scratch Guitar of Medieval Feudalism
Ah caint git enuf
of that funky stuff. Well well.
Oh yaas chile. Funkay.
Haiku # 74110 December 4, 2021 9:06 am ET
by That 70's Voice of Ohio Players
Now haiku rages.
Now I'm a desperate poet.
Now I vomit verse.
Haiku # 74109 December 4, 2021 9:04 am ET
by Curse of Adverse Hearse Call the Nurse
I'm a get DOWN now.
ALL the way down. The boogie.
Don't fall off your shoes.


Haiku # 74108 December 4, 2021 8:59 am ET
by Kool of The Jungle
Ungh! Jungle boogie.
Hah! I gots to git down. Unh!
Ha! Shake it around.
Haiku # 74107 December 4, 2021 8:51 am ET
by That Funky Jungle Beat of 1970's Platform Shoes
Yo, it's Ladies Night!
as in "for women - not men".
Greta: "How DARE you".
Haiku # 74106 December 4, 2021 8:49 am ET
by Cisgender Bigot of Count Your Chromosomes
I am Tom Bosley.
You, as well, are Tom Bosely.
In Tom, we are one.
Haiku # 74105 December 4, 2021 8:45 am ET
by One Male Organ, that is of Even the Ladies Too
Oh Joy! Haiku love
Is dripping all over me.
I might need a towel...
Haiku # 74104 December 4, 2021 8:42 am ET
by Dizzying Heights of Haiku (almost got arrested)
Yay! It's a new day !
To say "hey", to play, and pray
that Darth would stay gay.
Haiku # 74103 December 4, 2021 8:19 am ET
by Meaning, of course, filled with carefree delight of Wearing Studded Black Leather With a Glitter Dog Leash Around His Fabulous
Anthony Weiner:
Got roasted by a laptop
Between Huma's buns.
Haiku # 74102 December 4, 2021 8:08 am ET
by He Wrote, With Relish of Frankfurt, Zimbabwe with Onions
The electric chair
fries your ass like baloney
and roasts your weiner
Haiku # 74101 December 4, 2021 1:23 am ET
by Reddy Kilowatt of Power Lunch
None of this matters
Why do we even bother?
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 74100 December 3, 2021 11:54 pm ET
by Now In Zesty Ranch Flavor
None of this matters
why do we even bother
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 74099 December 3, 2021 9:59 pm ET
by Back again and even fresher than before
That Merri Clayton.
Sang so hard she miscarried.
She needed shelter.
Haiku # 74098 December 3, 2021 8:58 pm ET
by Too Much 70s Music
Came out from closet
The 1.69 Gaycraft
In this date, it's cool.
Haiku # 74097 December 3, 2021 7:56 pm ET
by So many genders to choose from!
Came out days ago
The 1.18 Minecraft
Update and it's cool
Haiku # 74096 December 3, 2021 11:42 am ET
by cursedmints
Back-end dream catcher
Charcoal infused underwear
You'll be popular!
Haiku # 74095 December 3, 2021 8:46 am ET
by Downwinder Patel of Kakastain
Discord and chaos.
Imperfect vulgarities.
Megs are not dinos.

Except Meg Ryan.
She's a Bangajoosipus.
I would dig her bones.
Haiku # 74091 December 2, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by Paleontologistic Phenominal Phenomenon.
Megalodon dung
steaming like Christmas pudding
Get figgywith it!
Haiku # 74090 December 2, 2021 8:28 pm ET
by Fignacious D. of Figippines
Have you ever thought
about the experience
of stepping in shit?
Haiku # 74089 December 2, 2021 8:25 pm ET
by Kaka of dinosaurs
If you know the word
'deplorable,' then you are
not a hillbilly.
Haiku # 74088 December 2, 2021 7:12 pm ET
by I am plorable. You can plore me all night long.
I'm jest a old DUNCE.
Dee-plorable hillbilly.
That shore is ME. Burppp . . .
Haiku # 74087 December 2, 2021 5:11 pm ET
by Linguistics Department Head of Great Smoky Mountains, Praise Jeeesis
The phaseless peasant is peed to crotch ({!})
Haiku # 74086 December 2, 2021 2:48 pm ET
by Maximum Maxims of Minnie Mice
The crotchless pheasant, is phased to pee >:-(
Haiku # 74085 December 2, 2021 12:21 pm ET
by The Omigod virus.
The matchless phrase, is pleasant to me :)
Haiku # 74084 December 2, 2021 10:51 am ET
by HectorCax of Costa Rica
Don't play out of tune.
But would you go to the moon
for a Lorna Doone?
Haiku # 74083 December 2, 2021 6:41 am ET
by I wouldn't. They are bland. of Blast from the past.
If you lift your kilt
I'll play a little number
on your old bagpipes
Haiku # 74082 December 1, 2021 7:17 pm ET
by Lorna of Doonebuggy
Would you let me walk
across your kitchen table
like the cats in France?
Haiku # 74081 December 1, 2021 7:14 pm ET
by brush of whisker
Kidnap rich children?
Sell nuns' blood to satanists?
Onling Zoom classes?

Oh, here's a good one:
Catnip fragrance cat litter.
But will you use it?
Haiku # 74079 December 1, 2021 1:17 pm ET
by Oh, I know, you've started an OnlyFans page. :-O
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