Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 69 Days and 78031 Haiku later...
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 69 Days and 78031 Haiku later...
There is a reason
Your nose is far from your bum
God is Good, that's why
Your nose is far from your bum
God is Good, that's why
by of Remove booger. Figpucker homemade chewing gum hack
Food and bowel movements.
In one hole, out the other.
Consumerism.
In one hole, out the other.
Consumerism.
by of Bugs Bunny and Gilligan's Island.
There's a solution
Remove the poetry lobe
Sign the dotted line
Remove the poetry lobe
Sign the dotted line
by of Science
Bad Haiku Shrink
"Patient writes poems about food"
"and bowel movements"
"Patient writes poems about food"
"and bowel movements"
by of Old Willow Mental Hospital
Like the moon and stars,
buttholes are never evil;
they simply exist.
buttholes are never evil;
they simply exist.
by
Talk about tube steak.
Smothered in viscous gravy.
Those chunks aren't giblets.
Smothered in viscous gravy.
Those chunks aren't giblets.
by
My eight inch anus
has impressed many hookers
when they first grab it.
has impressed many hookers
when they first grab it.
by
You speak in riddles
Your butthole can't be evil
Knock Knock, Figpucker?
Your butthole can't be evil
Knock Knock, Figpucker?
by of You ask who's there
Darth published a book!
He published it on Google.
With his own butthole.
He published it on Google.
With his own butthole.
by of EVIL BUTTHOLES
I seen Figpucker.
He was in that manual
of bowel conditions.
He was in that manual
of bowel conditions.
by of HAIKU
Darth, we LOVE to hear
about your prolapsed anus.
Do tell us some more.
about your prolapsed anus.
Do tell us some more.
by of STRING CHEESE
Wheres's Earth Wormfucker?
Off to chew holes in apples?.
Stuck on a fishhook?
Off to chew holes in apples?.
Stuck on a fishhook?
by of Hawaii
I didn't believe
about the earthworm story
Google says it's true
about the earthworm story
Google says it's true
by
The other partner
I'm assuming it's the worm.
The worm that's smoking.
I'm assuming it's the worm.
The worm that's smoking.
by of What did I just see, Darth?
Have you ever put
an earth worm in your pee hole?
An old native trick.
Great for both partners.
I know you don't believe it.
Go and look it up!
an earth worm in your pee hole?
An old native trick.
Great for both partners.
I know you don't believe it.
Go and look it up!
by
Have you ever put
an earth worm in your pee hole?
An old native trick.
Great for both partners.
I know you don't believe it.
Go and look it up!
an earth worm in your pee hole?
An old native trick.
Great for both partners.
I know you don't believe it.
Go and look it up!
by
The Brown Spud Special.
Viagra, roofies, ex-lax.
You know, Trainspotting.
Viagra, roofies, ex-lax.
You know, Trainspotting.
by
What's it called when you
mix Viagra and roofies?
I thought you would know.
mix Viagra and roofies?
I thought you would know.
by of Protection you can trust! (unlike your parents' condoms.)
Do you like smoothies?
And what do you put in them?
Besides Viagra.
And what do you put in them?
Besides Viagra.
by
Take that to the bank
Exponential account growth
Haiku make you rich
Exponential account growth
Haiku make you rich
by
Oh that handsome Darth...
I saw his picture one time:
Steaming pile of verse.
I saw his picture one time:
Steaming pile of verse.
by of Under the Old Manure Pile
Can I get seconds.
With extra yummy stuffing.
And giblets gravy.
With extra yummy stuffing.
And giblets gravy.
by
That's when I farted
Like a human turducken
Layers of flavor
Like a human turducken
Layers of flavor
by
It's so dark in here
Like the belly of a whale
But I have a plan
Like the belly of a whale
But I have a plan
by of Poop Chute
Abomination.
My anus is extended.
It swallows you whole.
Slime envelops you.
Like the drool of Alien.
And it chews you up.
Still you enjoy it.
My God, you're such a pervert.
Even while you die.
My anus is extended.
It swallows you whole.
Slime envelops you.
Like the drool of Alien.
And it chews you up.
Still you enjoy it.
My God, you're such a pervert.
Even while you die.
by
Examination
Your anus is distended
It's filled with poems
Your anus is distended
It's filled with poems
by of Just off the Old Willow exit
Examination
Your anus is distended
It's filled with poems
Your anus is distended
It's filled with poems
by of Just off the Old Willow exit
You absolute filth,
You foul detritus of waste,
Now I must go cry.
You foul detritus of waste,
Now I must go cry.
by of HAIKU
Biscuits and gravy.
Either waffles or pancakes.
With maple syrup.
Either waffles or pancakes.
With maple syrup.
by
Respond to my verse.
I need a witty response.
Answer me, dammit!
I need a witty response.
Answer me, dammit!
by of NIPPON
Notifications!
They, too, sometimes need more bits
äfteг enough time.
They, too, sometimes need more bits
äfteг enough time.
by
The first time hearing
Imagine there's no heaven,
but we are in Hell.
You don't believe me?
Just read some of my poems.
Am I right, or what?
Imagine there's no heaven,
but we are in Hell.
You don't believe me?
Just read some of my poems.
Am I right, or what?
by of Doing Satan's work for him.
Sinovac's not great.
Sixty percent effective.
Those fucking Chinese.
Sixty percent effective.
Those fucking Chinese.
by of They made it but cant cure it.
Here's a great idea.
Hey, Janis, let's get married.
Think what we could do.
Hey, Janis, let's get married.
Think what we could do.
by of Go spread it around!
Do math in the nude
But have sex with your clothes on.
Just to prove something.
But have sex with your clothes on.
Just to prove something.
by of Licorice lick her ass. Twizzle my stick.
George Floyd was a saint.
St. George had an overdose;
Died on Fentanyl.
St. George had an overdose;
Died on Fentanyl.
by of Toledo Oh-So-Hio
Listen up, Premchand:
This site is strictly HAIKU.
Sell your meds elsewhere.
This site is strictly HAIKU.
Sell your meds elsewhere.
by of Hyderabad
Tia Titania:
Totalmente torcida
Y tonta también
Totalmente torcida
Y tonta también
by of Plaza Sesamo
Titania Compañía Editorial se reserva el derecho de aceptar o rechazar cualquier solicitud de acceso a La Comunidad, en base a los siguientes extremos, a saber: Compruebe que sus datos facilitados son contrarios a la verdad y/o inexactos.
by of Spain
You sure about that?
Bangkok's known for opium.
Way back in the day.
Bangkok's known for opium.
Way back in the day.
by of Because opiates are soooo evil!
Nine plus five is two.
At least from my point of view.
Go look at a clock.
At least from my point of view.
Go look at a clock.
by of Mod 12, I think they say.
We need some bad math.
Or maybe bad math dot com.
How 'bout it, Janis?
Or maybe bad math dot com.
How 'bout it, Janis?
by of Math without nudes is pointless.
Janis is alive!
She wiped out the Russian spam!
Hooray for Janis!
She needs stuff to do
when she's not chasing dragons
(smoking opium).
What got her hooked was
Passage to Bangkok by Rush.
Don't try to deny.
She wiped out the Russian spam!
Hooray for Janis!
She needs stuff to do
when she's not chasing dragons
(smoking opium).
What got her hooked was
Passage to Bangkok by Rush.
Don't try to deny.
by
I was, but must wait.
Too many prying eyeballs.
What an ugly world.
Too many prying eyeballs.
What an ugly world.
by of And we will all be their slaves.
I'll remind you, Darth
You were going to tell me
your email address
You were going to tell me
your email address
by of Hanging around the tour bus
I forgot what I
fucking hell goddamn it all
was going to say.
fucking hell goddamn it all
was going to say.
by of Ease, pease, fleas, breeze, please, freeze, he's, bees, knees
Now I am craving
fig leaves with salad dressing.
Extra chunky bleu.
fig leaves with salad dressing.
Extra chunky bleu.
by
You'll see when we kiss
Our fig leaves will fall away
There's nothing to hide
Our fig leaves will fall away
There's nothing to hide
by of But, please don't on my account
I'm a pucker,
She's a pucker,
He's a pucker.
Wouldn't you like
to be a pucker too.
Be a pucker,
Drink Dr. Figpucker.
Be a pucker,
Drink Dr. Figpucker.
Or something like that.
A fig-flavored soda pop!
Sir, you're a genius!
She's a pucker,
He's a pucker.
Wouldn't you like
to be a pucker too.
Be a pucker,
Drink Dr. Figpucker.
Be a pucker,
Drink Dr. Figpucker.
Or something like that.
A fig-flavored soda pop!
Sir, you're a genius!
by