on such an old site
gross adolescent content
seems undignified

I want to buy some
imported high quality
bottled queef vapors.

The Queef sisters are
Katherine and Katie Queef.
They're from Toronto.

They have flappy heads.
That ain't all they have that flaps.
Know what I'm sayin'?

They are TV stars.
Of course their two boyfriends are
Terrance and Phillip.

Queefing quietly
in the city of Bridgeport;
that's cunt etiquette.

tHeY wERE rApTUREd uP!
NoThiNG LeFt bUT pOLARoiDS
oF mE & dArTH (nude)

Now comes two Mormons
"Hello, Mrs. Robinson"
"Seducin' me, dawg?"

When the Doorbell Rings
Try our Jehovah's Witness
Protection Program

Here there lies a frog.
Flattened and dehydrated.
What a great frisbee.

Oh, how children laugh
to see the old man throw it.
So aerodynamic.

It hits old Miss Jones.
Look how angry she's become.
Then he grabs her ass.

stilettos click-clack
a staccato on marble
necks crane in her wake

The dusty old trail
We've trudged since the dawn of time
leads to the toilet

It’s like Burma Shave
Think of the money you’ll save
Unzip pants and Wave!

with our selection
we guarantee perfection
for your erection

there's nothing iffy
with a cialis stiffy
your meat is spiffy

procrastinating ?
get pilled up for speed dating
why are you waiting ?

If your mom walks in
when you are masturbatin,
that's embarrassing.

But if you walk in
when your mom's masturbating,
that scars you for life.

They might not want that
Maybe they're just here to eat
Lots of good food here

Don’t try to tell me
If aliens visit Earth
we shouldn’t fuck them

How embarrassing
This guy was meditating
and his Mom walked in

Bad Haiku (dot com)
is secretly owned by the
boner pill spammers.

Janis owns something
like twenty three percent of
all Cialis shares.

Ostrich egg breakfast
You flip it with a shovel
for over easy

I'm going to check that out
Thanks

You seen Happiness?
The comedy by Todd Slondz?
The ending's perfect.

Always ask yourself,
"Have I kissed my dog today?"
If not, then you should.

The first line has five
The second line has seven
Insufficient

Bathroom fishing trip
Toilet stocked with brown brook trout
Now we sit and wait

Dick jokes and pill spam
The lifeblood of bad haiku
Really a sad place.

You'll live forever.
Eat Viagra like candy.
Wear loose fitting shorts.

Throw down the blue pills
Take matters in your own hands
It’s not that hard, man

You'll live forever.
Eat Viagra like candy.
Wear loose fitting shorts.

Inspiration Point
And there's nothing one can say
Like, Fonz, I'm pregnant

inspiration fails
and there's nothing one can say
like catching covid

Fukushima Glow
There you stand bathed in moonlight
Cause meltdown in pants

Beauregard lets wind
Junior Samples hoists his pants
B R 5 4 9

Clem! Clem they done it.
They made the Bad Haiku WORSE.
Lord, I'm jest pure skairt.

Please buy Chinese watch:
Best quality Fuxiang gold
Can pay with Visa

shun faux boner pills
their promise does not stand up
and neither will yours

Marriage Proposal
Rent a tux for your penis
Snapping turtle bride.

Geometric joy.
precise lines scar paper sheet.
thanks, paper shredder.

Business Proposal
Monthly Subscription Boxes
Penis Dress-Up Clothes

Medicine cabinet
There’s an old sticker inside
And it says Slime Time

He plugged the toilet
Trying to flush the haikus
When the fuzz showed up

Well it all depends
Just how petit is Mortimer?
Call you Mort for short?

I've always said that
a little death never killed
anyone, you know.

Your French is on point
Pe-nez translates lower nose
Do you feel a sneeze?

I’ve never seen it
None of the Ghostbusters films
Do you find that odd?

The overloaded
Ecto-Containment System
'cause Slimer jacked off

released a million
angry but satisfied ghouls
into the sewers.

I crave heirloom beef.
Oh, to dine on cows of yore.
It be mine, not yours.

When Jesus returned
did his friends call him "The Rez"
or was it just "brah".?

You don't need ass wipe!
Spray away with a bidet.
Save the planet, dude.

Rooster are crowing.
That means my cock is awake.
The crows are roosting.

Rez fez Pez lez nez.
E-wreck-shun fun in the sun.
My bronze tanned boner.

I wouldn't mind it
If they'd just sell LSD
And not hardon pills.

They won't sell it here
Poets live in poverty
Can't afford ass wipe