But you cannot change
that which is nonexistant.
Feel the breeze flow through.

The invitation
It's always extended, Ma'am
The full 12 inches

The ever changing
Never seems to change at all
Like your underwear

Thought it were Cheryl
But it were Farah Fawcett
On that old poster

Russian recipes
How to cook rats or people
Feed your family

Eat your family
Grandma was just delicious
Fuck off Babooshka

I'm Cheryl's left tit
In that 70s poster
Nice to meet you (wet)

Strangled Cock Found Dead
Alien Hand Syndrome Blamed
Cops Finger Suspect

An eternal stream
You've heard the men from Old Minsk
have the biggest dinsks

There is this one glitch
Our bottled water is piss
May contain some pulp

Return, O Big Wave
Tsunami of Syllables
Where are you drowned rats?

The question remains
Has Bad Haiku jumped the shark?
You all sure clammed up

This is what drew Mork
to visit our crude planet
(And Laverne's wet snatch)

Look under the fez
You won't see small potatoes
Happy Days are here

Tom Bosley’s Fez
covering his erect shaft
Extra Large Fez

Patrick Swayzee. Ghost.
Massaging pottery clay
but this time it’s cheese

New TV Dinner
In the frozen foods section
Hungry Cannibal

Cassowary Bird
In a Cassowary World
Cassowary Girl

Clownworld needs its verse
Hence, our stunning haiku verse
Like a rotting corpse

Look at this poster
Stop struggling to get it up
It’s Farrah Fawcett

Your haiku are shit
But that's the whole point of it
Tom Bosley's penis

The cherry blossoms are here again
but I'm dying of Covid
Isn't life shit?

Where is sky
I'm searching every day
On the eath

Please do NOT "stay safe".
Rather remain dangerous.
Infectious and free.

The China virus:
it's Marxism in the West
For herd-animals.

I won't make you wait.
Some people call it Kung Flu.
'Cause it packs a punch.

Someone light a match
Seventeen syllable fart
Three lines of skidmarks

Some people call it
Wait....wait for it.....wait for it
THE CHINA VIRUS

Postcard from a fart
Wish you were here! See ya soon!
Delayed in Transit

Bad Haiku Poet
Witness Protection Program
You know who you are

What fuckery's this.
Free at the VD clinic.
Christ, this ain't Russia!

You don't want to suck.
But you want the ten dollars.
Make up your damn mind!

Container garden
Under your balls....succulents!
No one wants to suck

A flower tattoo
encroaching on your pubis
improves not the smell.

drink your big black cow
and get outta here, you know
bands named for dildoes

You're a dren, Potsie
Root beer float with two straws
Fresh pack of rubbers

You're a dren, Potsie
Root beer float with two straws
Fresh pack of rubbers

Refill all floats, Don.
How much vile doo i have!
"Shit Happens" on tie-dye.

Coffee ice cream float.
Made with original Coke.
The one with cocaine.

It will wake you up.
Peruvian dessert freeze.
Häagen-Dazs brain blast!

we will all float on
how much evil do i have
what happens when i die?

What’s your favourite food?
I guarantee we have it!!
Buy End Times Buckets!!

Stop wasting money
Buying that shitty mall weed
Buy End Times Buckets!!

My God, pot's legal.
And you all still can't behave.
What a sad sad state.

I'd pay good money
to get each one of you high
as Cheech and Chong.

Maybe then you'd smile.
Sad little internet trolls.
Leave your mom's basement!

i dont like it when
people on here call me on crap
so im glad i do

forget this place. my
mind is occupied by more
important ideas

like bitching on twitter

given how i take
some things way too personal
i might not miss you

you know i forget
this place exists, you may
die
and i won't know it

...you forgot to say
pretty please. and please i aint
that pretty, hunny...

VHS eats shit
Always has and always will
I hate kissing you

did you hear about
the 'pastor' said jesus was a
racist? tik tok, time

judas always has a price

social justice of
course is not social or just
it just says raaaaaaacisssssttttttt...

Smells like Darth in here.
I need air freshener, quick.
Or else a gas-mask.

Make art with boogers.
A self portrait can take years.
Keep you occupied.

Beats molesting kids.
GPS ankle device.
Noticed that detail.

You don't need Tinder.
Sex offender registry.
Where pervs can hook up.