I am still alive.
Expired meat is a myth.
I've ate it often.
by Dumpster diver association of America. of I ain't neber needed me no ghrahamer no how.
The rain has let up.
Time to go shopping for food.
Milk, yogurt, chicken.
Fruit, ramen, bread, eggs,
and a bunch of other shit.
The list's here somwhere.
by WAFFLES of TWAT
I have stopped caring.
Some toilets spin left, some right.
Coffee must be strong.
by Can I change my last name to Funt?
Ozzy-Man Reviews.
Completely nude aerobics.
Ghosts and aliens.
by You know I'm right.
That feels pretty good
I meant my AK-47
Keep holding my dink
by Gun Lover of USA!!
give him the tweetment
the prez needs more sedation
and less sedition
by ash
no trumped up charges
but there is a charged up trump tweeting sedition
by ash
Drank too much Kool aid
Need to piss like a racehorse
Someone hold my gun
by Desperado of Urinal
If anyone asks
I'm looking for the bathroom
I'm not with the thugs
by When I'm nervous of So are my bowels
If anyone asks
I'm looking for the bathroom
I'm not with the thugs
by When I'm nervous of So are my bowels
You want covfefe?
That's just coffee with covid.
Trump knew all along.
by Shut up, put the funt in the cart, and go to the check out lane.
who's that in my house ?
what do you mean both houses ?
it's all covfefe
by ash
dethroned man of steal
all your base are not belong
set us up the bomb
by ash
Shedding old software
Dependencies means freedom
For this Bad Haiku
by Adam
Rainbows, unicorns
Kittens with lazer beam eyes
Everything pink, glitter
by Anonymous Poet
Believe in yourself
Positive affirmations
Have a nice day, friend
by Dipshit of Undisclosed
Electrocution
Try deep-fried human being
It tastes like chicken
by Sally Vayting of Vat of Hot oil
Four short years ago
House, Senate and President
And now it's all gone.
by He drained the swamp for sure
Stop at McDonald's
Spray paint moon with graffiti
Fuck in the back seat
by Our first date of En route to the sun
I bet Janis has
regrets for making this site
when she reads this shite.
by Twat waffles, biskitz and groovy.
Where would you go now
if you were able to fly?
Right into the sun?
by That's what I thought.
Red is my color.
I might let you borrow it.
Until then, hands off.
You shouldn't hate God.
He gave unto us Rainbows.
Without which, no gays.
by Irridescant effervescant irrelevant elephant
The top ten fleshlights
are made out of human flesh.
Jeffrey Dahmer knew.
by Dual purpose sex snacks.
Green ejaculate
Generate guacamole
Taco overflow
by Taco Belle of Drive thru is open
Blow jobs and hand jobs
and Social Security
Do these jobs count? Help!
by Working myself of To the bone
Consumer Reports
We rate the top ten fleshlights
By Darth Figpucker
by Ralph Nader getting a blow job of Driving off a cliff ( We're having a great time)
There is no schizm.
These political isms
are all just jism.
by The dried up wads of Jimi Hendrix, Ralph Nader, and Richard Nixon's dog.
Head on collision
They're all decapitated
Head off collision
by Noticer of Details of At the scene
Georgia to DC:
Fake Left/Right dichotomy
Prepares US for woe
by You Are Brainwashed
Tickle Me Elmo.
Quality control worker.
Doing test tickles.
by Bad Dad Jokes, Inc.
I don't want to fly.
I'd much rather teleport.
Is that a thing yet?
by It should be!
My nipples aren't peirced.
Should I correct this problem?
What says vhs?
by One old fart to another.
Fart, flatus, break wind,
trouser trumpet, contribute
to global warming.
Step on a frog, toot,
reverse belch, burrito ghost,
bleed the pressure valve.
by George Carlin of The stage in the sky.
Librarian fart
No shush, naturally silent
Only time they smile
by Noticer of Details of Book Drop slot
Lipstick on his collar
The dog has been unfaithful
but still got a bone
Poop stains
by Haikufucious of Under old willow
Don't rely on me
You will be disappointed
Just do it yourself
by Disappointingly unreliable individual of Barstool
Free advertising
For a good time anytime
Farts are like WiFi
by Advertising Executive of Toilet seat
Chameleon now.
Become the color you touch.
Or it becomes you.
by I have no fucking idea what that means. of Urinal stall graffiti.
a fart diary
beats a fart diarrhoea
by quite a few runs
by ash
Every time I fart
I record the time and smell
in my fart scrapbook
by Noticer of Details
I'm not really here.
I'm visiting somewhere else.
I think you knew that.
by Please come and join me. of Maybe I'll dance.
Tiramisu cake.
Haagen-Dazs coffee ice cream.
Bananas Foster.
Bring me my dessert.
You can forget the main course.
I'm too old for that.
by Ice cream off a sexy whore's tits. of Because Mr. Rogers said to live life to its fullest.
What is my real name?
What my parents first called me?
Shout it out, you cunt!
Scream it you fat whore!
You fucking stinky pig twat!
You disgusting slut!
by I'm just joking. of Let's get ice cream.
Murder isn't bad.
Emerson, Lake, and Palmer.
Orange sherbet is gross.
by Why Cashews???? of Ummm... I don't know where abouts this is.
It's all about me.
So I buy silly t-shirts.
My dog will wear them.
by Chix love that. of Local park.
I'll make a monster.
I've grown to dislike Jello.
My ankle itches.
by What's my name?! of Say it bitch!!!
Christmas is over.
Turn off that fucking music.
Play some Black Sabbath.
by Barney the Dinosaur. of Teletubbies house getting high.
Eating beef and rice.
Old shoe leather with garlic.
Cappuccino's good.
by Buck Naked Rogers of Future launch pad of NWO Space Force.
A major break in.
You know the underwear gnomes?
Huge disappointment.
by Tweek of Down with Starbucks!
Fa fa fa fa fa
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa
fa fa fa fa Fart
by G. Yurassismelli of lighting a match
