Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 61 Days and 78020 Haiku later...
Molecules of farts
Under magnification
Reveal Hitler's face
Haiku # 68974 December 2, 2020 9:53 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Behind microscope
Darth Darth Darth...(unh)...Darth
Darth (unh) Whorrendous Darth GOSH
I'm farting a lot.
Haiku # 68973 December 2, 2020 9:26 pm ET
by Methane, Myself and Ithane
fart fart fart fart fart
fart fart fart fart fart fart fart
fart fart fart fart fart
Haiku # 68972 December 2, 2020 8:30 pm ET
by unknown of Fart Farm
Bought forty acres
Starting up my own Fart Farm
Guess it's milking time
Haiku # 68971 December 2, 2020 4:14 pm ET
by Fart Farmer of Fart Farm
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
this sums up 2020
Haiku # 68970 December 2, 2020 12:33 pm ET
by Your mom of Texas
vhs won't eat
He's been off his feed these days
Ever since Trump lost
Haiku # 68969 December 2, 2020 3:43 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Under old willow
We'll take care of you
Would you like a sponge bath, Darth?
We're smoking hot twins...
Haiku # 68968 December 1, 2020 9:01 pm ET
by Bathy Kates of Conjoined
Who will we eat first?
I say vhs; he's clean.
Got knows what I have!
Haiku # 68967 December 1, 2020 8:47 pm ET
by dw of Air Borne Ebola
Let's talk about it
Let's talk cannibalism
Fuck talking, let's eat
Haiku # 68966 December 1, 2020 6:03 pm ET
by Cannibal of I smell Hoomans
It's near to farting.
The British one-fourth penny
is called a farthing.

They should also have
a shithing and pithing coin too.
They they'll be complete.
Haiku # 68965 December 1, 2020 2:05 pm ET
by A full range of functions.
You seen that snake guy?
He gets high off snake venom.
Injects it often.

He never gets sick.
It gives him super powers.
At least it's not meth.
Haiku # 68964 December 1, 2020 12:43 pm ET
by I think I'll try jelly fish venom. of :-O
A coincidence?
You walked past the snake charmer
and got a boner
Haiku # 68963 December 1, 2020 7:28 am ET
by I. Sawit of Surveillance cameras
I don't want to see
Your colony down under.
(Butt maybe Ash does...)
Haiku # 68962 December 1, 2020 2:30 am ET
by Don't Make an Ass of Yourself of Netherworlds of Darth
I clicked on that link
It looked like an abacus
shoved in a ham

It was your asshole!
I must say, you are handsome
from either end, Darth
Haiku # 68961 November 30, 2020 9:45 pm ET
by Your secret admirer of Either End
Picnics and parties.
Cute puppy dogs and kittens.
Fluffy clouds and stuff.
Haiku # 68960 November 30, 2020 9:17 pm ET
by Everything is fine. of Trust me.
Maybe a world run
by the New Chinese Empire
might not be so bad.
Haiku # 68959 November 30, 2020 8:52 pm ET
by Criminals flourish under communism. of And I am nothing if not a criminal. Whores? Check. Drugs? Check. Weapons? Check. Surfboard? Check.
That last post links to
a picture of my asshole.
In case you need it.
Haiku # 68958 November 30, 2020 8:46 pm ET
by dw
https://static.ffx.io/images/$zoom_0.346%2C$multiply_2.1164%2C$ratio_1.5%2C$width_756%2C$x_86%2C$y_0/t_crop_custom/q_62%2Cf_auto/fc5a4891a86ecae4caee529c6ee5b87297165119
Haiku # 68957 November 30, 2020 7:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
all hail xi xinping
emperor who will be king
world dynastic fling
Haiku # 68956 November 30, 2020 7:08 pm ET
by ash of a colony down under
i see he is still
at it and i have lost all faith
in syllables.
Haiku # 68955 November 30, 2020 1:39 pm ET
by vhs
Great TP idea.
2020 calendar.
Year's not over yet.

What shite occurs next?
I can hardly wait to see.
Planet of The Apes.
Haiku # 68954 November 30, 2020 5:57 am ET
by Put the funt back in the cart. of NOW!
I just took a shit
Then I wiped my big fat ass
with the calendar
Haiku # 68953 November 30, 2020 1:27 am ET
by Father Time of (Flushing Sound)
Standing in the queue
Your breath has fogged my glasses
Six feet is the rule
Haiku # 68952 November 30, 2020 1:03 am ET
by Betty LeBomb
Ching Chong Chinaman:
Didn't know how to milk a cow
(Except H. Biden.)
Haiku # 68951 November 29, 2020 10:07 pm ET
by Worthy Gentleman of Celestial Kingdom
Chinese
Japanese
Dirty knees
Look at these!
Haiku # 68950 November 29, 2020 8:26 pm ET
by Baby Firefly
Me Chinee
Me play joke
Me put pee pee
In yo Coke.
Haiku # 68949 November 29, 2020 8:25 pm ET
by Wong on so many revels. of PRC
Don't care for it Clem.
Snakes and rat and dog in there.
Cain't we have corn-pone?
Haiku # 68948 November 29, 2020 8:54 am ET
by Appalachian Takeout of China Pearl 20 minutes you pick up order ok?
Lotus lake of jade
Quan-yin smiles: heavenly peace.
Military drones.
Haiku # 68947 November 29, 2020 8:47 am ET
by Quan-yin Ex-husband of Celestial Realms
Chinee proverb say:
"No Tickee no Laundry." Ha.
Now get back to work.
Haiku # 68946 November 29, 2020 8:43 am ET
by Ching Chong Chinaman of Firedrill
Serioulsy though, if you see how the Chinese keep down the poorer surrounding countries, you'd hate the commies too. Fucking criminals. Nothing but Big Time Gangsters.
Haiku # 68945 November 29, 2020 12:06 am ET
by I wish I was one of them. :-O of dw
If that was covid,
I am not impressed at all.
Had worse hangovers.

You can blame China.
Fear, the cheap commodity.
It's all about Trump.

That's how they react
to an arrogant pervert
who won't take their shit.

Serioulsy though, started as sore throat, became runny nose, mild congestion and cough, and now on 5th day I feel like I could fuck a bunch of dirty whores on cocaine and go for a 5 mile jog.
Haiku # 68944 November 29, 2020 12:04 am ET
by Can we just nuke China and get it over with? of Come on, Trump, you still have time.
The lonely Frenchman
Fucks a dozen stale croissants
Filling eclairs next
Haiku # 68943 November 28, 2020 11:44 pm ET
by Eatthis Pilaf of France
Get lubricated
Say, we need some mood music
to write these Haikus
Haiku # 68942 November 28, 2020 11:02 pm ET
by Venus of In the House
Because you like games
Wearing me chastity belt
I've swallowed the key
Haiku # 68941 November 28, 2020 10:58 pm ET
by Player of Fun City
French fries are not French.
They drown them in manonaise.
I could not live there.
Haiku # 68940 November 28, 2020 10:29 pm ET
by Well, they do have nude beaches... of Maybe. Add to their mayonaise.
Vous n'etes que des cons.
De ca j'en suis tres tres sur...
En garde, monsieur.
Haiku # 68939 November 28, 2020 9:17 am ET
by Le Compte de Chie-en-Lit of Feudal Aristokrasy
"Smoke on ze watt air--
A fie air een ze ska yi.."
(De la bonne musique)
Haiku # 68938 November 28, 2020 9:11 am ET
by Ian Gillan's French Maid of Shallow Purple
you put it in wrong
the plural should be penes
withdraw that haiku
Haiku # 68937 November 28, 2020 7:14 am ET
by ash of look at my pedants
dispute the voters
the scrotus on to scotus
to rock the boat (us)
Haiku # 68936 November 28, 2020 7:12 am ET
by ash of in the rigging
It must be funny
Shitting up in outer space
and leaving it there
Haiku # 68935 November 28, 2020 2:32 am ET
by Regular Haiku Poet of Under old willow
mothership arrives
Sexo-morphian combat
just what you wanted
Haiku # 68934 November 28, 2020 12:27 am ET
by Aliens with boobs on their backs and peni on the soles of their feet.
Watch Killing Zoe.
Do you see how she was killed?
Don't say she wasn't!
Haiku # 68933 November 27, 2020 7:40 pm ET
by French fries with brie and beaujolais. of Croissants are overrated.
Oui le bonbon du nez?
Haiku # 68932 November 27, 2020 7:36 pm ET
by Je veux dire de la cocaine, pas des crottes of Vive le Dark Side
La chatte dit: miaou
Punaise! C'est tout une merveille
(pas pour la souris...)
Haiku # 68931 November 27, 2020 5:23 pm ET
by Jean-Claude Marie Giscard du Cornouaille of Mais pas de Conneries
I'm moving to France
where the cats walk on tables
where the cats say Miaou
Haiku # 68930 November 27, 2020 7:25 am ET
by chaton d’étoile of Litter pan
eat me first garcon
then add creme to my brulee
mon dieu, oh la la !
Haiku # 68929 November 27, 2020 6:25 am ET
by ash of dans la cuisine, la bas
*throat, not through. But you gnu that.
Haiku # 68928 November 27, 2020 6:04 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
First slight sore through, then bad runny nose, now a slight dry cough. No fever, no loss of taste... yet.
But just in case it's covid, I'm spitting on people's car door handles. Doing my duty to lower the population b/c that's what the Chinese scientists want.
Haiku # 68927 November 27, 2020 6:04 am ET
by spitooey!
The high protein food
of Thanksgiving dinner will
not increase methane.

But the amines, well,
that's a whole nother story.
Stinks somethin' awful!

For calculations,
the data are incomplete.
Blame republicans.
Haiku # 68926 November 27, 2020 6:01 am ET
by Odoriferous obfuscations.
The lonely Frenchman
fucking a hollowed out loaf
of stale baguette bread
Haiku # 68925 November 27, 2020 3:01 am ET
by French Dip of Au jus
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