I wish I was there.
I'd loot me a new TV.
And get boob implants.
by This poem sponsored by the healtcare act. of I am not there.
Satellite pancakes.
Crispy little prostitutes.
Dip them in honey!
by Bees understand. of Monosacharide breakfast.
My balls have a lump.
But you don't need to worry.
It's on the surface.
Oddly moves about.
One time it looked like a face.
Much like Donald Trump.
But it wasn't orange.
Until I gave it Cheetoes.
Now looks just like him.
Hail to the cheif.
Bow down before my nut sack.
America's King!
by New World Odor of Not as smelly as your socks.
Here's my new penis.
It might be here for some time.
Say hello to it.
by Noticer's Grandmother of Graceland, TN
I want corona.
The sooner we all get it,
the sooner it's done!
by Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner!
They're small and stinky.
Sea horses don't make much cum.
You don't believe me?
Then you have never
been to the octopus's
garden by the sea.
Sea horses like me.
They like the stench of my feet.
And also their size.
Who could like YOUR feet?
I mean, just look at your feet!
Cloven hooved piggy.
by Was that sea horses or sea whores? of dw
C'mon Darth get real
I know how small your feet are
How big your mouth is
by Noticer of Details of Close by
C'mon Darth get real
I know how small your feet are
How big your mouth is
by Noticer of Details of Close by
It would probably
take millions of sea horses'
cum to fill a shoe.
I know because I've
sucked off many sea horses.
I needed the cash.
by Addicted to sea weed.
Hamster testicles.
That's what corona looks like.
Don't ask how I know.
by RodentPorn.com of It's cheesy.
The Great Pyramid
And wouldn't it be my luck
Stepped in camel dung
by Chillaxtopher Walken of Under old willow
The ejaculate
of a thousand seahorses
May it fill your shoe
by Cock Justblow of At sea
Before Donald Trump
I never had the nut gas...
Except that one time.
You know that business
on Cato Neimoidia,
that... that doesn't count.
by What happens on Cato Neimoidia stays on Cato Neimoidia.
A pussy will-o,
better than pussy won't-o.
Am I right or what?
by Truth!
I just wish someone
would call Darth to come over
and foul the waters . . .
by Limpid Pools of Orientalism
And by the way, Darth
Thanks for using the word DINK
A true gentleman
by Lady of Pussy Willow
That sunken shipwreck
I just used your bathroom, bud
Bowel Torpedo
by Gorgon Leadfoot of Nearest Exit
The Funyun Ringtoss
I knew you were a fun guy
Dink like a toadstool
by cheech and schlong of Dink rink
It smells like pot smoke.
My dink gets high without me.
And my stash is gone.
by I feel so rejected. of But can you blame it.
A gassy penis.
Testicular fartitute.
You thought queefs were weird?!
by Why am I doing this? of Haiku are so stupid.
Long shlong strong dong song.
King-kong Hong Kong wrong wrong wrong!
Bong throng thong tong GONG!
by Haiku @ The Gong Show. of Don't you hate the way the haiku sometimes run into the "name and location" field?!
You do sudoku?
Brew true kangaroo poo stew.
Zoo hullaballoo.
by Boo-boo and Yogi Bear of Bears are not robots.
I used Elmer's glue.
The kind that kids use at school.
'Cause it's non-toxic.
by We don't want any dead koala bears on our hands now do we. of Eucalyptus?! You can lick this!
Asking for a friend
What did you use for the glue?
You could make your own
by construction guy of hanging from helmet in comnercial
I glued on the eyes.
They fell off when I got hard.
She was not impressed.
by Darth Whorrendous and his koala bear sidekick.
Balloon animals
Wrap it in sour gummy worms
Good bang for your buck
by Exhibitionists of Dollar Store
Looking down your pants
A little too familiar
Try these googly eyes
by Câ of Make it fun
Can I poop on you?
I'll give you fifty dollars.
I love you so much.
by Elmo visits Grouchland
I need a fucking drink.
That last line had six syllables.
That one had eight.
And I still need a drink.
by Maybe 2 bottle of the Tussin DM of dextromethorphan dungeon master
I smoked peanut skins
Did nothing, gave me bad breath
Complete waste of time
by At least it wasn't penis skins
Smoking bananas.
That's one thing I've never tried.
How about you, sir?
by Anything for a buzz.
Snorting snail slime.
Dehydrated and powdered.
Frightening visions.
by Ready yourself to be in the same mental state of Darth Whorrendous.
All Nude Aged Meat Fest
Wonka and Walton elders
Now that's an orgy
by Cocoon of Wrinkled Junque of They took out their dentures
You are Grinch, Grinch, GRINCH !!
Flame-ass dribblers of bad worse:
You are brat-Wurstest.
by Read the books "Damned" and "Doomed" of Chuck Palahniuk. He also wrote Fight Club
You are cringe, cringe, CRINGE !
Lame-ass scribblers of bad verse:
you are the Greatest.
by Pathetic Poets of Doomed and Damned
the end of times soon
because all things must finish
like this brief haiku
by ash
God hates all poets.
Their creations are nearly
as wretched as His.
by
Under disco-lights
I reassess existence:
over-rated noise.
by Jacket Lapels of of Perfect Nostalgia
Hey, why the long face?
Flaming syllable shooters
Vomiting poems
by Drunk of Barstool
a haiku reflects
on walking into a bar
gazing in a glass
by ash
The Husband Landfill
Salvageable parts removed
Pre-owned dildo sales
by Unnoticed Poet of Undisclosed
I want some breakfast.
Twat waffles and cunt biscuits.
A pot of coffee.
by What does Pink Floyd know anyway?! of Fuck marmalade!
Light the hibachi
Soon as I gut this possum
We'll have cheeseboigers
by Paste Eater of State Park
Clear the area.
This haiku zone is declared
Prohibited verse.
by Robo-cop of National Guard of Poetry
Pussy-ass bitches!
Come get some of this you pigs.
Phuq da POlice, y'all
by The Dastardly Villain of Portland, Oregoing Going Gone
Now stand back, you cad.
You've made this young lady cry.
I shall deal with you.
by The Hero of Royal Canadian Mounties
Oh you are so VILE.
Oh you horrible man, you.
Why, oh WHY must you?
by Virgin Milkmaid of Sobbing in her Petticoats
here's to you missus
robinson, heaven holds a
place for those who spray
by benjamin's boner
Mrs. Livingston
Courtship of Eddie's Father
Your penis Is green!
by Jumper of Golden Gate Bridge
Vaseline in bulk
Now see what you made me do
Bend over, poets
by Quivering Asshole of Back door
