Speaking of hand jobs
I'd much rather watch paint dry
Or watch the grass grow
by Ann Noyed of Behind binoculars
Yoga mat poop stain
Downward facing dog poop pose
Full lotus pantsload
by Yogi of Smelly
I did not go see
That Shan state girl with big boobs
For a long long time
She wanted to scroog
But I let her escape pounding
And now- I regret.
When you get a chance
Give them a good rogering
And make them happy
by Druk Pa Kunley of Black Yak Mountain
I did not go see
That Shan state girl with big boobs
For a long long time
She wanted to scroog
But I let her escape pounding
And now I regret.
When you get chance
Give them a good rogering
And make them happy
by Druk Pa Kunley of Black Yak Mountain
Slow death by handjob.
Chiseled right on my tombstone.
I can live with that.
by df
Just massage yourself
Masturbation millionaire
Invest in yourself
by Good advices from Starkitten of PNW
Among mammals, Rafinesque's big-eared bat has the largest testes relative to body size, since they account for over 8 percent of the bat's total body mass. "The North Pacific right whale has the largest testes ever recorded," Lupold said, explaining that each weighs over 1,102 pounds.
by So how the hell does one become an expert on whale testes?! of Taste testing testes?
Stay out of those shops
You'll get syphilis and die
Unhappy ending
by Warning of Behind binoculars
Coffee shop music.
It has got to be the worst.
Fucking hipster shit.
by Headphones time!
Special massage price.
One thousand pesos; Twenty bucks.
The tip's included.
by Thank you, sir. Come again! of And they love my tip!
Hammock hung from trees
Depressed corpse nestled inside
The hoot of an owl
by Trudging along of Path to Nowhere
Figpucker x-Ray
Head full of dirty poems
Dink in ICU
by I see you of Behind binoculars
pink champagne on ice
the warm smell of coalitas
dark desert highway
by Anonymous Poet
Pina hospital girl
legs up to her fine tight butt
wants picture with me
Was a little strange
I want something from her too
Please don't tell my wife
by Walt Tripp of Hawgs back woods
The Brady Bunch House
Alice on her hands and knees
Meat Delivery
by Sam the Butcher of Cloud 9
Two hours w/o porn?
My God, how will you jack off?
Try thinking of me.
by Anonymous Poet
Octopus ink, no,
it does not shoot out the dink.
It comes from its glands.
by Anonymous Poet
Electricity out
Interruption of service
For the next two hours
by Powerless of Dark
Does octopus ink
Shoot from the octopus dink?
Tell me what you think
by Sharpie of Permanent
One of the arms of
the male octopus is his
dink, and edible!
by Asians eat anything. of I prefer squid over octopus though.
Bring your microscope.
Next show at seven thirty.
You pay my bus fare.
by df
I hate sudoku.
Almost as bad as haiku.
Now I have to poo.
by
The Second Coming
Of Mister Jeffrey Epstein
Shall renew the earth!
by Jesus is Just Allright with Him
Vote Tulsi Gabbard!
Vote Epstein Twenty-twenty!
Vote suck-ass Haiku !
by Power of the Dope
Indelible ink
That old cephalopod porn
Inedible dink
by Old reliable
Now you're talking Darth.
That WOULD be a little show
(Checking bus schedule )
by Ben E. Fitz of Public transportation
Sprayed lighter fluid
up my urethra to be
Captain Flamethrower.
It fucking well works!
Wasted seven cockroaches
with my deadly cock.
by Say, why aren't there cuntroaches?
Wow! What a small world.
Did you like my little show?
Next time without pants.
by df
Rode the bus today
Goofy passenger stood up
Farted and shat self
by Passenger of Waiting for another bus now
Fart binoculars
Magnify the smell and sound
Of any cut fart
by Silencio of Butt end
13 th Commandment
Thou shalt not deliver mail
To your neighbor's slot
by Postmaster of Gone Postal
We all have a chance
To write meaningful haiku
In ink, blood or spooj
by Poetry Robot of I wrote mine in grease
Fuck counting.
That's what Excel is for.
Ejaculate your creativity!
Right into your neighbor's mail slot.
Tell the police it's the ink with which your write fine poetry. Offer to write them a poem to give to their wives or girlfriends. Tell them it's the Divine Word of God. Enjoy your vacation.
by Donald Trump's 2nd Favorite Hairpiece. of That's Hairpiece, not Herpes.
I only did #65756 to #65762.
Oh, shit that was more than five syllables.
Eat my man cunt!
by df
Five of those poems
Are the work of Figpucker
Two by starkitten
by Haiku accounting dept of Office
Last seven haikus
Were not abominable...
just very boring
by Chairman Moo of Vacaville
Dink dink dink dink dink
Dink dink dink dink dink dink dink
Dink dink dink dink dink
by Sausage dink of Dink rink
Faint sound of popping
Butter at room temperature
Preferred lubricant
by Orville
Picked from the lineup
Sick, enormous ear of corn
with a cornrection
by Orville Redenbacher of Corn hole
If you have a stroke
while having a heart attack,
would you masturbate?
by
God does not love you.
But then neither does Satan.
I guess you're just fucked.
by
Shit she's just fourteen.
I am such an old pervert.
Fifty bucks?! Too much.
by
Her tits are quite small.
But at least she is not fat.
How much will she charge?
by
Bad haiku dot com.
Mirrors facing each other.
No one else can see.
by And that's a good thing!
Your poems are bad.
When I read them I get sad.
And that makes me mad.
by
Rinky-dink dink stink.
Think pink wink ink blink sink skink.
Brink link mink rat-fink.
by
Enormous toaster
Each slot contains a human
Breakfast at God's place
by Yummly
ET's shriveled dink
Bicycle seat still moist
Up up and away
by Douchebag of Under old willow
What's the nastiest
thing you have put in your mouth?
Cooked pig testicles?
by
Jar Jar Binks' asshole.
Google image search for it.
Jacked off seven times.
by Jello Pudding Pops of Roofie flavored.
