You need opium.
Satan doesn't want your cash.
Your mind will be free.
by Chase that dragon.
To get your mind back
Don't give the devil money
Stop taking the drugs
That means alcohol
Weed and everything else
Learn the straight edge life
Your mind will clear up
You will then stop losing time
Your body will be strong
So you don't believe?
Just try it out for yourself
See if I am wrong
by Rolang of Yak Mountain
Went to the V.A.
To see it they had changed
Not a God Damn bit
Illegal Alien?
Jump the border criminal?
The state will help you.
Busted up GI?
Injuries due to service?
You are on you own.
by XGI of Chitopolis
The infestation
How many times in one day
Do I need to douche?
by Bugsy Faggina
Benguet region coffee.
Tastes like fucking blueberries.
Reminds me of Jules.
"That's some serious gourmet shit right there."
Pulp Fiction.
It's the light saber that says "Bad Motherfucker". -- Mace Windu
by Feeling an urge to be evil.
Where's my light saber.
I need to trim the hedges.
Darth Juan landscaping.
by Obi Juan Kenobi of Gone to the Dark Side
Flies are disgusting.
Preying mantises are sexy.
But then you might die.
by I could live with that.
Ladies, keep it clean.
A woman's worth is her cunt.
Lysol keeps it fresh.
by Time Traveler
Which do you prefer?
An Asian dwarf or pygmy?
Sometimes pygmies bite.
But for wiping ass,
pygmies really know their shit.
Figliterally.
by Figpuckerishness -- The degree to which something is figpuckered.
Build me a bidet!
By bidet I mean midget
Who will wipe my arse
by Iona Brownbottom of Throne
Would you rather fuck
A giant sized praying mantis
Or giant housefly?
by You can only pick one
Better to barter
Clean my house, get a blow job
From my Doberman
by Win of Win
Dealing with the coins,
the wind takes your dollar bills.
Cunt shit fuck piss whore!
by And I have to laugh.
I beg to differ.
Neither my nor my cat's ass
has a bad odor.
Asian girls wash me.
Nineteen year old prostitutes.
I pay them in rice.
My cat, however,
she has to wash her own ass.
I feed her dog stew.
Well, my leftovers.
Dog meat tastes just like lean beef.
You would never know.
by df
Hey, what do ya mean
Nothing ever comes from this?
I just blew my wad
by E. Jack of Radiator Springs
Smiling pleasantly
As I hand Darth a washcloth
Please go wash your ass
by Board of Health of Hazmat suit
Stinky Ass Challenge
Who s got the stinkiest ass?
Me, You or your cat?
by Cat of Roast beef ass
Been hearing voices
Arguing inside my head
Wait, that s my asshole
by Nevermind of It was just a fart
Pants marionette
Just call him Howdy Doody
It s a hand puppet
by Jack of Your box
Figpucker s clean taint
Mythbusters proved it s a myth
It ain t clean at all
by Spore of Attic
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt Cunt Cunt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
by Important memo of Don t chant USA USA
Why wait for cancer?
Your sins will be washed away
Your ass will still stink
by Anonymous Poet
You re nobody til Jizzumbody loves you
by Anonymous Poet
If I had cancer
I'd shoot those who post selfies
and pics of their lunch.
by Darth Angryboy
So I wrote a song.
It's my take on "Tainted Love".
I call it "Loved Taint".
by Darth Figpucker
Such a waste of time
Nothing ever comes from this
It is tome to go
by Bye, bye assholes
They chant decide now!
It's not easy being green!
Unison, be gay!
by Ledge of Kentucky
your eyes caught mine, I
knew we were undone, exposed.
She said, "He needs you".
by Ledge of Kentucky
Marriage is like wine;
Smooth, silky, brazen, bright, big!
Oh,Cassis of souls...
by Ledge of Kentucky
I'd go to the end,
beginning and back again.
Just to taste your skin.
by Ledge of Kentucky
Ali Holmes Sparring
Like Mar(ch) Valley Girl titans
All is loss, yet love
by Ledge of Kentucky
Nuke it from orbit
The only way to be sure
That's what I would do
by Anonymous Poet
I finished wiping
Why does poop keep coming out?
Wait, that s your ass
by Walkin Funny of Trudging along
Down here on the floor
With the crumbs and the dog hairs
Hey, I found ten bucks
by Star Trek Historian of Nerd Section
The wing of the plane
All cramped up in the wheel well
Bad places to wank
by Frequent Flyer of I buy my penis its own seat in First Class
please rename this site:
"The Excrescences of Darth"
just to keep it real.
by Sick Bag of Puke Flight
Save room for dinner
That said, Gramps undid his fly.
Rang the dinner bell
by Sloppy Joe of Porch glider
Don't know about him.
Often splattered Starbucks' john.
Drips down in your hair.
by
Vacuous strumpets.
Communication device.
"This is what I ate."
by
Michelangelo
Do you think he ever wanked
Up on the ceiling
by Jizzumberto of Clitaly
All the lights are on
But there ain t nobody home
My penis is huge
by Big Blessing of Bedspread
I apologize
I thought she was your mother
Bitches look alike
by Mistaken identity
Asking for a friend
Are dingleberries healthy?
They pair well with cheese
by Chuckie Cheeze of Unda
Shit I meant to say not Butthead. Beavis goes heh heh heh heh and Butthead goes huh huh huh huh huh. Elmer Fudd has a much higher rate of huhs per second than Butthead though.
by What's YOUR hps?
Cunt punt runt bundt cake.
With a shovel or a rake.
Get all you can take.
by Shhhh.... be vewwy quiet. I'm hunting cunt. Huh huh huh huh huh huh. of That's Elmer Fudd, not Beavis.
Living my best life
Eating everything in sight
Farting left and right
by Loosely Goosey
Okay, I'll tell you,
It's the long chain aldehydes.
Delicious cancer.
Secret formula.
Dr. Jekyll / aldehyde.
Murder for smoked Swiss.
by Darrrrth... RAWARRSALARAALLLAWWRRRRRRRR
a friend asked why is
smoked cheese so damn good, its just
bloody well tasty?
by vhs
Really fun to watch
Slipping on banana peels
It never gets old
by Law offices of Cuntfart Cuntfart and Cunt
Poem half way done
Sudden urge to defecate
Which one will choose?
by Is this food poisoning of Churning guts
