Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 65 Days and 78029 Haiku later...
Under construction
New house shaped like a penis
Realistic veins
Haiku # 65330 July 15, 2019 9:13 pm ET
by 3 bedroom dink of Cul de sac
He snotted the walk.
Blocked one side of noz and blew.
Proper slimed the pave.

Unwary walkers
nearly busted their noggins
slipping all about.

Quite a crust it left
as it dried in the hot sun.
Ants gathered to feast.
Haiku # 65329 July 15, 2019 4:59 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Grizzly bear stopper
A cast iron frying pan
Applied to the head
Haiku # 65328 July 15, 2019 4:15 pm ET
by Not Guaranteed
a very strange man
argues loudly with himself;
hasn't bathed this month.
Haiku # 65327 July 15, 2019 10:39 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Evil Orange Drumpf--
He's literally Hitler,
but much much much WORSE.
Haiku # 65326 July 15, 2019 10:14 am ET
by That's Why 4 More Years of Trump Derangement for You
Dear Liberal nut-case:
Your fatal error is this . . .
Trump is popular!
Haiku # 65325 July 15, 2019 10:08 am ET
by Metrosexual Victimology of Flyover America

Lefty Progressives:
Could you please stop projecting?
We don't think like you.
And not such a prick?
Haiku # 65324 July 15, 2019 10:02 am ET
by Half of the U.S. Population of Cheeto Hitler 2020
Lost a contact lens
At the swimming pool. Found it!
Oh no. Verruca.
Haiku # 65323 July 15, 2019 9:50 am ET
by Toby Edwards of London, UK
No need to worry.
Sea cucumbers have no brain.
Just nerves and reflex.

Although it's rumored
some of them write poetry,
but won't admit it.
Haiku # 65322 July 15, 2019 8:57 am ET
by Sea cucumbers and star fish are closely related, fun fact.
Mister President:
Could you please be less racist?
And not such a prick?
Haiku # 65321 July 15, 2019 8:14 am ET
by All the people of planet Earth
Feels good up my arse
Do sea cucumbers feel pain?
Certainly hope not
Haiku # 65320 July 15, 2019 2:00 am ET
by Jacques Itch
Call Richard Simmons
Feast your eyes upon this gut
Get outta my way!
Haiku # 65319 July 15, 2019 1:31 am ET
by Double Gut
So, what do you think.
Football should be played with swords.
And butt-assed naked.
Haiku # 65318 July 15, 2019 12:55 am ET
by Am I right or what?
Birds in gilded cage.
That's what Americans are.
I wish I was there.
Haiku # 65317 July 14, 2019 10:48 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Trolls have no freedom.
Slaves to their own obsession.
Which makes them funny.
Haiku # 65316 July 14, 2019 10:36 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I don't like football.
And I did GTFO.
Not sure it was smart.
Haiku # 65315 July 14, 2019 6:49 am ET
by But at least I'm free.
Your paid big money
To chase a fooking foot ball
Millions of green backs!

But you are oppressed
And hate America
Cry baby @$$ hat!

Get down on your knees
And thank God you were born here
Or GTFO!
Haiku # 65314 July 14, 2019 6:26 am ET
by Rolang of 7734
Your paid big money
To chase a fooking foot ball
Millions of green back

But you are oppressed
And hate America
Cry baby @$$ hat!
Haiku # 65313 July 14, 2019 6:21 am ET
by Rolang of howthehellIknow
Noisy bastardo's
Barking fooking GD dogs
No muffler chit cars

yowling stupid chit
Slamming fooking condo doors
Running power tools

American clods
Making noise like circus seals
Please shut the fuck up
Haiku # 65312 July 14, 2019 6:13 am ET
by Rolang of howthehellIknow
Treasure your fat wife
And tell that other poet
To stop cry whining
Haiku # 65311 July 14, 2019 3:30 am ET
by Advice
What is religion?
God almighty obsession
Can quit any time
Haiku # 65310 July 13, 2019 11:55 pm ET
by Stalking Jeezus
What a vile dimwit:
projecting your obsessions
on the rest of us.
Haiku # 65309 July 13, 2019 10:36 pm ET
by Be Saved or Be Damned
My brethren poets.
Always lend a helping hand.
Inspirational!
Haiku # 65308 July 13, 2019 9:50 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Which nose doth thou blow?
Up above or down below?
I might be of help
Haiku # 65307 July 13, 2019 6:24 pm ET
by Helpful
We can put a man
on the moon but we cannot
write a good haiku.

A head full of snot.
Feeling weak and itchy throat.
Damn I hate the flu.
Haiku # 65306 July 13, 2019 6:05 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Your weekend update
No plans for the evening. ..Sigh
This zit ruined my life!
Haiku # 65305 July 13, 2019 4:54 pm ET
by Too embarrassed to say of Hiding
Such an awesome time
Nude rollerblading all day
American Tour
Haiku # 65304 July 13, 2019 1:40 am ET
by All 50 states of Will see my rear end
The high diving board
Is it dangerous to dive
With an erection

Overcooked hot dogs
Sometimes split down the middle
Quite frankly, I m scared
Haiku # 65303 July 13, 2019 12:28 am ET
by Frank of Pool
lmao
Haiku # 65302 July 12, 2019 10:42 pm ET
by vhs of you are an inconvenience!
Your lame poetry
makes me hate myself much less.
Thank God I'm not you!
Haiku # 65301 July 12, 2019 10:38 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Adolph Hitler called.
Yep, a collect call from hell.
He said I'm evil.
Haiku # 65300 July 12, 2019 10:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Holding YOUR photo
Jizzing on your bad poems
Why my pants are down
Haiku # 65299 July 12, 2019 10:31 pm ET
by Grandpa of Porch glider
Grandpa's pants are down
for YOU, every time, it seems.
Is that why you're nuts?
Haiku # 65298 July 12, 2019 9:59 pm ET
by Extended Family Values of the Condemned
Next time God smotes ya
Look up in the sky and ask
Fuck s your problem,Dude?
Haiku # 65297 July 12, 2019 9:57 pm ET
by Created of In his gnarly image
Every single time
I go to visit Grandpa
He s got his pants down
Haiku # 65296 July 12, 2019 9:55 pm ET
by Ding Dong of Door
another day goes
by, I am still here, and the
time comes when i go.
Haiku # 65295 July 12, 2019 8:01 pm ET
by vhs
Popular Science
Gross! Pages stuck together..
Poetry Robot
Haiku # 65294 July 12, 2019 1:22 pm ET
by Look into my eyes
Oh Redundant One
Let me help you hate yourself
in perfect Haiku
Haiku # 65293 July 12, 2019 9:28 am ET
by Haiku Intervention for Free
I think I need some goddamn waves... seriously.
Damn the fat wife and family... they are better off without me. I need to be eaten by a great white or bash out what little is left of my brain on a reef... fucking waves punish me over and over, pummeling, pounding, humiliating me and I love them more than life itself, goddamn it and I cannot deny what I am, just downright rotten bastard piece of selfish shit and I offer no apologies. I know what I need. Fuck. I hate myself, but that's okay.
Haiku # 65292 July 12, 2019 3:45 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I know about rage.
I've come to quite enjoy it.
Therefore I am Darth.

Sadly, there's no Force.
If there were, I'd be like God.
Rage, hatred, and greed.

I've become evil.
And I do not regret it.
I am a monster.

Too many wedgies
I'd gotten in middle school.
Oh the tragedy.
Haiku # 65291 July 12, 2019 3:38 am ET
by True evil is born, not made. of LOL and all that.
no rest for the wicked
evil thoughts consume me for
eternity becons my spirit

to hellfire, just my luck
im thrown i to the frying
pan instead at work
Haiku # 65290 July 12, 2019 3:31 am ET
by vhs
why cannot todats
youth just shut the fuck up and
enjoy the coachella

air and the transgender fetish
futa all that, thats all it is
wear a skirt, get the girl
Haiku # 65289 July 12, 2019 3:29 am ET
by vhs
i want to let go
of the past my undereyes
black with the weight

of percieved failure
yearsnhere busted dead or
alive my own fault
Haiku # 65288 July 12, 2019 3:28 am ET
by vhs
there are professors
i still feel rage at, long gone
i wanted to just

enjoy art, i stll
want to give the long dead a
boot to the rear end
Haiku # 65287 July 12, 2019 3:26 am ET
by vhs
restless these four walls
restless yesterday writing
is a sickness yes

this is the pus, the
poison, the infection comes
out on these pages
Haiku # 65286 July 12, 2019 3:24 am ET
by vhs
a wall of ice and
more ice builds up inside i
literal zombie
Haiku # 65285 July 12, 2019 3:22 am ET
by vhs
i cannot sleep, i
had no rest over this place on
yesterday...goodbye
Haiku # 65284 July 12, 2019 3:14 am ET
by vhs
just shut up they said
shrugs, it became no fun when
he just kept going
Haiku # 65283 July 12, 2019 3:12 am ET
by vhs
some dsy we will all
realize weve forgotten of
these places, and

we play chess at noon
at the coffee house, say screw
the evil liberal menace

to the barrista
oh thats just vhs
Haiku # 65282 July 12, 2019 3:11 am ET
by vhs
i get wound up and
i am rough on myself now
imagine putting

interbalizing this stuff
in real life at work, thinking
overthing, indigestion
Haiku # 65281 July 12, 2019 3:09 am ET
by vhs
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