I'm so tired of this
I'm writing the same poem
That I wrote last time

Funny things happen
When you don't pay attention
Bird shit on my head!

You got some nice legs
And you know I'm a leg man
Here, meet my third leg

We all want to see
Jesus in a wife beater
Stella Stella!! Right?

His one fantasy
She would walk across his back
In stiletto heels

everything comes out
But maybe out the wrong end
And stains your good pants

Cream whipped to a froth
Dispensed from the limp penis
Of Mister Fritzl

The Big Kahuna
You keep zipped up in your pants
Well, it ain't so big

Jesus still loves you.
No matter how you test Him.
Praise be to Jesus!

Whipped cream or semen
Which is a better topping
For my strawberries?

Loaves and fishes trick
Next, walking on water trick
Levitate table

Let's grab a fig leaf
Cover your sexual junque
And stop rubbing it

Do not waste your time
with that which is not of God.
Praise be to Jesus!

Art class nude model
"What a swell looking penis."
Still life kielbasa

Try New Oxy-Syllable
Removes filth from poetry
Tide Pods on steroids

Smelly arthritis
Just had another birthday
How would I do that?

Today's your birthday
How I would jump on your desk
David Letterman

Kitten cat kitten
Cat cat kitten cat kitten
Kitten cat kitten

Yo, Spermin' Melville
Just met you, this is crazy
So call me Ishmael

Sometimes I wonder
If I were a prostitute
How much would I charge?

I'm in my forties
I've yet to fuck a shemale
But I still have time

Farts are not profane
You must have flunked science class
Farts contain methane

Japanese House Tour
Traditional floor mats spooged
I removed my shoes

Ever wonder why
My haiku's are so profane?
If not,suck my dick

My contribution
Are farts tax deductible?
We'll be millionaires

Is that the foghorn?
Rise and shine. I'm on the case
Well now, who farted?

When I bend over
Look closely at my black hole
Now take a picture

His sandals were dope
Flowing hair impressed the babes
Fonz of Nazareth

Seven eleven
Or was it the six six six
He liked to shoplift

He rode on an ass
To the store to fetch bread
He waved to the whores

He went to the store
For a loaf of bread he said
And a piece of ass

Let us not forget
Moses was a warlord too.
Praise be to Jesus.

For "enlightenment"
Buddha left his family.
Praise be to Jesus.

It can be said that
Jesus is the Lord of Peace.
Praise be to Jesus!

Mohammed Shamu
Give that as your alias
The best way to go

Never had a doubt
Picked you out of the lineup
Saw your half inch knob

Vaseline in bulk
Massaging a dead tree trunk
Whilst defecating

Vagitarian
Creamed corn beef and muff cabbage
Face down in your plate

Moohamad=dead pork
Warlord tyrant false prophet
"The Obvious One"
^ also a pedophile
don't get used to me agreeing with you

Please buy this for me
It's on Amazon dot com
Cat Butts in Space book

Moohamad=dead pork
Warlord tyrant false prophet
"The Obvious One"

Now it's dark again
When I jump from the bushes
You will be startled

over in Japan
Hurry up soba noodles
Hangry robot dance

Thought you said
Blow job you know giving head
I'll get my ears checked

You apologize
For a misunderstanding
You end up ahead

Not the kind of guy
Who would spend money on you
For a fancy meal

While you weren't looking
Repossessed your possessions
Then I pooped on them

Possessed by myself
Verifying process then
Possessing myself

Most of my haiku
Gems remotely harvested
Hidden sphincter mine

Japanese Robot
Forehead bagel conniption
Train station blow job

Not very clean now
After my bathroom blowout
Hey, how you down'?

Waddle waddle squat
Fart fart squelch fart fart kersplat
Microbes at work here