Precise measurements
Just the right amount of poop
One heaping pants load

My dinner haiku
I ate an enchilada
Now drinking water

What what in the butt.
I said what what in the butt.
I think you know what.

Vlasic pickle stork
Do men find him frightening?
Asking for a friend

If you poop too much,
then you should try to eat less,
the doctor told me.

Chewbacca's penis
Full frontal in all movies
Shoe Jar Jar Binx taint

Would you have written
Star Wars any differently
and if yes, how so?

America dead.
Or unrecognizable.
Except pop music.

Good that it's over.
Freedom is too expensive.
Now we are all slaves.

In Japanese porn
they will show assholes but not
pussies or cocks, why?!

Brian Wilson's taint
Funny place for graffiti
"Wilson Phillips Rules!!"

Four beers plus Beach Boys:
I am now at my wits end
America. Tears.

"Can you cut your nails
before you finger me please
unlike my husband?"

Cardiology
Haze of anesthesia
Dr. Keef Richards?

pleasure of Bonsai
Double flowering cherry
Conjoined twin virgins

And for the first time
In all the years they were wed
He said something nice

"Which hole am I in?"
The drunk guy asked the hooker
"The wrong one asshole!"

Gee,something smells good
It has to be your cooking
Can't be your pussy

Miss March, sixty-eight
That woman had some nice curves
Can't recall her name.

Fred Astaire exhumed
jive dancing gingivitis
Putting on the Ritz

Daddy's bride angel
Still holding that creepy doll
Filled with father's spelch

Lively up the day
Census Enumerator
Show them your big junk

Just wearing a sock
The Red Hot Chili Peckers
How does it stay up?

Dancing cheek to cheek.
Two gay men, double dildo,
disgusting dance floor.

When was the last time
you, ahem, you know, did it?
We need this info.

I'd rather do this
than write history essays
or shoot up Draino.

Poetry is the
parasite of all language.
You've been infected.

Santorum dot com
is still functional, I see.
Well, at least partly.

Inexperienced
homosexual couples
attempting butt sex.

Cousteau factoid
Cousteau stuck his dink in eels
Undersea Fleshlight

Shit rags in my ass
Fall out as I walk along
I should start wiping

Twat,snatch,poon,pussy
Whatever one calls a cunt
Shows their character

Jacques Cousteau s lament
Please, no more little swimmers
Earth. No Vacancy.

Jacques Cousteau advised
When constipated at sea
Get anemone

Stop the wind blowing
Let the pigs police themselves
Protect the doughnuts

Laughing like Mozart
Hey man, are you sniffing glue?
Get that all the time

Thanks for the update
Up next: Figpucker Report
Today s topic: wind

Many beast droppings,
many fresh turds, have been left
at this useless site.

Poet of the Month
Centerfold Pull out Section
I do mean pull out

Heaving mounds of lard
Just dead lifted a Hummer
With a nerd in it

Haiku read aloud
Upload a video clip
Clothing optional

Flaming broom handle
Pulled from the ass of a priest
Poop Exorcism

TORNADO WARNING
Smelly tuna fish Twister
Milkshakes! Flying cows!

Have you ever played
nude Twister with your sister?
You're from Arkansas!

Electric grandpa's
rooster fucked a cow wearing
a bib in Twister.

Electric Grandpa
He really busted a move
When lightning struck him

Any cockll do!!
No need for a rooster here
That s the farmer s wife

Any cock

The cow chews her cud
The old farmer pulls her teats
The pervert watches

Gross group groping
Twister gone wrong with no mat
Elevator stuck

We'll make a movie
Our genitals in dire straits
I'll wear rollerskates