Has anyone seen Garth?

Cyclonic fart bomb
Homeland Insecurity
Porcelain rocket

Tootsie Roll swirly
Spot on accurate fork assed
Brownie, Incoming!

I, Balloon Poet
Shall rise high and pierce yon clouds
With my erection

It is for you to guess
Whether I occupy this
Jiffy Pop corn tin

And with that, I fly
Nay, I soar, high above all
Previous poets

A bit of whiskey
Lubricated poem hole
Effortless discharge

Great way to go out
Sayonara,heaving snail
Your trail is yet moist

She took a licking
Cause of death: Cunnilingus
And she stopped ticking

I bribed my way up
Top rung of haiku ladder
I piss on you all

Nedra was her name
She had surreal drooping teats
Gave me a boner

I have disrobed now
Feeling inebriated
God, am I hairy

That us how I roll
Give us your Tootsie update
Howz your Tootsie hole?

oh fuck now what is
he trying to do with that dildoe
a fucking hole in one?

Philippines poet
Found face down in a fresh pool
Of his own haiku

Darth, a poltergeist
We can only imagine
The shenanigans

Favourite position
Of soon to be ex husband
Hunched over iPad

you won't have peace if
you don't make peace on this end
you know what i believe...

I won't let you have
a leaving quite yet, you know
you can go but...pfft...

and so it goes

Vitamin E thins blood.
I'll take some and go jogging.
Make brain bleed again.

This time stay quiet.
Wife wakes up to a cold corpse.
And I will have peace.

So will bad haiku.
No more "Philippines toilets."
No more "dog pot pie."

Fuck this shitty world.
Thank God we're not immortal.
Get me out of here.

Oysters on half shell.
Enterprise looks like a clam.
Fire spooge torpedoes!

Sign this disclaimer
If you get knocked unconscious
When I belly dance

Shatner oyster gob
Potent Aphrodisiac
Enter at own risk

Like I just saw you
In the Mystery Machine
I love you, Scooby

At Japanese house
Please take off shoes then come in
Proper etiquette

Over at my place
Please take off all clothes. Come in.
Well cum mat is out

Up in the window
I m wearing Mother s bathrobe
Pink underpanties

Up in the window
I

My mother said to
get things done you better not
mess with Major Tom.

Cereal is good
Perverted Cookie Jarvis
Oh that poor woman

I made a Tootsie
Thought of you for a moment
And your spraying ways

Remember the time
We pretended we were bears
And mauled the post man?

Jesus had it rough
Never had a grandfather
Live in someone's mouth

Who was God's father
Did he have a Godfather
I just can't even

Christian fucking shit.
I should have said Tootsie Roll.
Sometimes we need shit.

YouTube Jesus spam.
If he were real, he'd be proud.
Bathroom wall scripture!

https://youtu.be/L4e2ST3evmU

Granddad's foul anus
has always lived in my mouth.
Ask him; he's right here...

Yep, that Figpucker
grandson o' mine loves to eat
old mens' foul arseholes.

Grand-dad's foul anus
Lives again in your own mouth.
Or is it your mind?

I am getting old.
I had something foul to say.
Forgot what it was.

Unwrap my tootsie
More meaty than a Werthers
Grandad's foul anus

Keep the front dirty
Effective man repellent
Reversed with fly strip

After I haiku
I reach for the spray nozzle
Hose the syllables

That's why we inhale
Capture all the reefer madness
Sky High Zooming by

Allow me to add
Billy Shatner's epic spooge
Slides down like butter

I hate it when the
location gets backed up right
next to the haiku.

You should buy all three.
Get erect without jock itch
and a nice calm high.

Fungus destroyer
Cannabliss CBD oil
Get rock hard today

My mind's eye sees it
The gentle hearted poet
Reaching for the spray

Imagine a world
Where everyone wipes the ass
Of the next person

It's easy to spray.
Wiping requires more stretch.
Be clean for your man!

I couldn't live there
No range of motion at all
Smelly Arthritis

A raging woody
Rage against the tangerine
And his orange peen

Free bottom cleaning.
Step right up, I'll spray your ass.
Tootsie Rolls be gone!