Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 78 Days and 78054 Haiku later...
Who's your favorite?
Milkman Dan or Bug-Eyed Earl?
I'll take both of them!
Haiku # 53108 December 23, 2015 12:35 am ET
by DF
Remember Underoos?
Now they make them for seniors.
Bullet proof Depends.
Haiku # 53107 December 22, 2015 3:52 pm ET
by Kinky Crotchless Kevlar
I would eat her out.
Then there was a period.
End of discussion.
Haiku # 53105 December 21, 2015 4:01 am ET
by Bo Burnham
I once shat myself.
In the WalMart checkout line.
These haiku are worse.
Haiku # 53104 December 21, 2015 3:57 am ET
by DF
Everything is slowing down
River of no return
My eyes on the prize
Haiku # 53103 December 20, 2015 11:03 pm ET
by Mariah of 661
Don't wanna be your reason
I'm no one's reason
Not under your spell no more
Haiku # 53102 December 20, 2015 11:01 pm ET
by Mariah of 661
Christmas time is near
Hunker down, drink lots of beer
Ring in the new year
Haiku # 53101 December 20, 2015 6:15 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Oh God, I'm so high.
Don't forget to bring a towel.
You wanna get high?
Haiku # 53100 December 19, 2015 8:44 pm ET
by Towellie of South Park, CO
Darth Figpucker the
Highly Inappropriate
enjoys enjambment...

among other things
such as torturing puppies
and Starbucks coffee.

Sticky toe jambment
is somehow in my undies.
Damn that wife of mine.

Don't speak of yourself
in the 2nd person as
though you're someone else.

That is just too weird
and you won't get elected
to be president.
Haiku # 53099 December 18, 2015 6:16 pm ET
by DF
Inappropriate.
Customer satisfaction.
Phallus substitute.
Haiku # 53098 December 18, 2015 5:53 pm ET
by DF
Playing games with time
Dropping most dopest sick rhyme
While sexting a mime
Haiku # 53097 December 18, 2015 1:27 am ET
by MC DJ
My Life Is But Clay
A Statue In The Making,
Always Evolving
Haiku # 53096 December 16, 2015 9:30 pm ET
by Amongst The Rabble of Here, Now
Strange school janitor.
He scraped off all the boogers
from under the desks.

He stored them in jars.
But none will ever know why.
He was abducted.
Haiku # 53095 December 15, 2015 2:45 am ET
by DF of alien anal probe removal specialist
Your website is so cool. I am impressed by the info that you have on this site. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject.
betonnen keukentablet
Haiku # 53094 December 12, 2015 8:01 am ET
by This website of uae
website punch repeat
code monkey loves your fat feet
saving you a seat
Haiku # 53093 December 12, 2015 6:04 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
sorry to tell you
we will not get off this rock
maybe for better
Haiku # 53092 December 12, 2015 4:07 am ET
by Crack of My Asssss
You are meat for rats.
When you die, they will eat you,
if the worms are late.
Haiku # 53091 December 12, 2015 2:38 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola of The Land of Ricola
I just ate rat meat.
It's really pretty decent.
But not so filling.

The whores all like it.
They say it can cure VD.
Why are they diseased?

We need a space ship.
A large colony transport.
Not a small fighter.
Haiku # 53090 December 11, 2015 11:06 pm ET
by DF's 3rd world adventures.
i remain haunted
you visit me in my dreams
and leave me empty
Haiku # 53089 December 11, 2015 5:26 pm ET
by ash
Donald Trump's problem?
Napoleon complex, duh.
('cause of his penis)
Haiku # 53088 December 11, 2015 10:16 am ET
by scotch of so near and yet so far
pair programming sucks
stupid startups think it's cool
yet they will all fail
Haiku # 53087 December 11, 2015 5:57 am ET
by oedipa of san francisco
It is one of the best real estate websites that i have ever visited. I know many real estate agents looking for good property websites. I will share this website with them. Thanks for sharing.
keramiek tafelblad
Haiku # 53086 December 9, 2015 5:39 am ET
by keramiek tafelblad of uae
Masturbatory.
It sums up my life story.
Invest in Fleshlight.
Haiku # 53085 December 9, 2015 2:31 am ET
by DF
Who threw up their lunch?
Does it splatter on his joint?
Please... don't wear make-up.
Haiku # 53084 December 9, 2015 1:49 am ET
by DF
Buttered toast
Between my large thighs
Orgasmic
Haiku # 53083 December 8, 2015 8:57 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Who threw the first punch?
Does it matter at this point?
Please...kiss and make up.
Haiku # 53082 December 7, 2015 9:40 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I must disagree.
"Bad Haiku: (necessary)".
Somehow I doubt that.
Haiku # 53081 December 7, 2015 2:47 pm ET
by DF
*sleeping on sidewalks.
Shit, I cannot fucking type.
New keyboards don't help.
Haiku # 53080 December 7, 2015 2:45 pm ET
by DF
Run-over dead rats.
Children sleeping sidewalks.
And I want a beer.
Haiku # 53079 December 6, 2015 8:24 pm ET
by DF
So many topics.
But this is not about that.
This is about this.
Haiku # 53078 December 6, 2015 8:22 pm ET
by DF's pregnant cousin. of Trailor #18
It's time for more farts.
Always back to the basics.
What poems are for.

Farts are for poems.
Loud or sneaky, we love them.
Poems are for farts.
Haiku # 53077 December 5, 2015 11:16 am ET
by DF
Sunsets and puppies.
Puppies launched from a cannon.
Watch how the sharks feed.
Haiku # 53076 December 5, 2015 10:59 am ET
by DF
Grandma has a cock
It is a very rude bird
Shits on the sidewalk
Haiku # 53075 December 5, 2015 1:36 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You must have either
a tiny little man fist
or a huge dildo
Haiku # 53073 December 3, 2015 7:14 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
My fist is
A good substitute
For dildo
Haiku # 53072 December 3, 2015 1:33 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I have penises.
Mine and all those in my butt.
Assuming those count.
Haiku # 53070 December 2, 2015 7:14 am ET
by DF
I wrote a haiku.
It was really pretty good.
But I forgot it.
Haiku # 53069 December 2, 2015 7:12 am ET
by DF
You got penises?
Yeah? Well, so does your sister.
Won't share them with me.

Haiku # 53068 December 1, 2015 8:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Your wife just did that.
She sucked my juicy pimple.
Oh, that was my dick.

My zits are larger.
And my penises oozes pus.
My zits squirt sperm cells.
Haiku # 53067 December 1, 2015 8:03 pm ET
by DF
Your pimple
Is very juicy
Suck it dry
Haiku # 53066 December 1, 2015 2:43 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I hate mosquitoes.
It's a sewage injection
with every bite.

Subcutaneous
cesspool infection pus sore
popped in McDonald's.

It's a rare honor.
The one US citizen
kicked out for grossness.

Maybe went too far
when I compared the pus to
their nasty mayonnaise.

But I do not care.
It made the fries taste better.
Fucking mosquitoes.
Haiku # 53064 November 28, 2015 9:04 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Is this better?
gross is as gross does
more than a fair share is here
elevate discourse
Haiku # 53063 November 28, 2015 2:27 pm ET
by Nanny Thistlebum of Etiquette School
You write of poo much
Try some new territory
Urine, or oozing sores?
Haiku # 53062 November 28, 2015 3:30 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Try out this fun thing.
Put it on your bucket list.
Go poop in Asia.

You'll get no TP.
Only a water ladle.
And you need strong legs.

Don't get your pants wet.
You must keep them off the floor.
And roll up your shirt.

Haiku # 53061 November 28, 2015 2:56 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
this is my planet.
indeed, it's my universe.
you should be leaving.
Haiku # 53060 November 28, 2015 1:00 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
why are you afraid?
delete my haiku and prove
that they control you

Je m'adresse
Haiku # 53057 November 27, 2015 11:53 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
this is thanksgiving
speaking the truth without fear
this home of the brave
Haiku # 53055 November 26, 2015 5:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
what do you stand for?
falling leaves and setting sun
need right words, brave deeds
Haiku # 53054 November 26, 2015 5:30 pm ET
by veritas of fighting for you
Are these refugees?
Or truly, are they settlers?
Who don't accept us
Haiku # 53053 November 26, 2015 5:21 pm ET
by unapologetic of among them
There is always hope
but They are intolerant
They need change, not us
Haiku # 53052 November 26, 2015 5:16 pm ET
by veritas of fighting for you