Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 81 Days and 78057 Haiku later...
it is worth going
on but sometimes not in the
place where we are now
Haiku # 49685 May 12, 2013 1:32 am ET
by vhs
I don't like haiku.
So why am I even here?
Off to the strip club.

Lap dances are fun.
I'll bring a change of undies.
Can't let the wife know.

Oh, damn the glitter.
And the reek of cheap perfume.
I just might get caught.

Fuck it, I'm going!
I'll say the glitter is from
My six-year-old's art.
Haiku # 49684 May 11, 2013 8:59 pm ET
by Darth figpucker of Captcha: dioxide eralsy
I hate you bad prick,
I will never eat your beans.
Passing gas hard, ouch.
Haiku # 49683 May 11, 2013 12:21 pm ET
by ~Roberuto_Renga
but then again I
have never written a piece
of writing I have

enjoyed when I felt
I had to prove something to
folks I'm writing to.

do you enjoy your writing?
Haiku # 49682 May 11, 2013 1:40 am ET
by vhs
well my dear sir, if
we had the female body
and personae I

will bet each one of
us would be a little less
"competing" haikus

but isn't buddhism all
about letting shit like this
all go, to nothingness?
Haiku # 49681 May 11, 2013 1:39 am ET
by vhs
I never met a
man obsessessed with the "meta"
who wasn't fretting
Haiku # 49680 May 11, 2013 1:27 am ET
by Lush
merry are the few
who tune in with some routine
filler syllables
Haiku # 49679 May 11, 2013 1:24 am ET
by Lush
perennial warmth
and the occasional darth
home is where you hang
Haiku # 49678 May 11, 2013 1:22 am ET
by Lush
dum dum dum daa daa
daa, daa, daa, daa, dum dum dum
DUM!! DUM!! DUM!!! (boston

pops vader theme there)
Haiku # 49677 May 10, 2013 1:15 pm ET
by vhs
Dingleberry pie.
Goes well with Starbucks' coffee.
Munch, munch, munch, sluuurp... Aaaahhhhh.
Haiku # 49676 May 10, 2013 12:08 pm ET
by Darth figpucker
damn it, we're going
to have to buy you a new
whiskey tumbler now
Haiku # 49675 May 10, 2013 11:56 am ET
by vhs
we give you some time
and we can keep company
to you as world turns
Haiku # 49674 May 10, 2013 9:39 am ET
by vhs
blot the seeping drool
and cast the whiskey tumbler
in the fireplace
Haiku # 49673 May 10, 2013 1:18 am ET
by Lush
now my ass itches
for I've sat upon it long
blast, mighty trumpet
Haiku # 49672 May 10, 2013 1:12 am ET
by Lush
grievous enemy
absence overwhelms presence
stand up and engage
Haiku # 49671 May 10, 2013 1:09 am ET
by Lush
if/when I portray
losses indescribable
revoke my license
Haiku # 49670 May 10, 2013 1:06 am ET
by Lush
I've penned of heartache
and indignity and shame
vainglory and blame
Haiku # 49669 May 10, 2013 1:03 am ET
by Lush
my two beloved
perished within these two years
art can't encompass
Haiku # 49668 May 10, 2013 1:01 am ET
by Lush
is there argument
great pain causes great art, then
how does that explain

50 shades of grey?
I applaud those who can read
through such a thing which

must be an act of
endurance, but to taste some
people like to eat beets

oh crap I like beets
and beats
Haiku # 49667 May 9, 2013 11:30 pm ET
by vhs
you russians have it
in for the japs after the
1905 war huh...
Haiku # 49666 May 9, 2013 7:55 pm ET
by vhs
then when all seems at
rest something comes out to throw
more disorder in
Haiku # 49665 May 9, 2013 7:53 pm ET
by vhs
the whole world can just
go nuts all at once and the
system crashes down
Haiku # 49664 May 9, 2013 5:48 pm ET
by vhs
I am not a shark.
I refuse to eat raw fish.
It is too stinky.

Here's a new idea:
Wasabi nasal spray tube.
vhs up first. ;-)

Seriously though,
I effing luuu-uuuv sushi!
I'll eat it all day!

My novel has a Jap nuclear terror twist in it... read now. ;-)
Haiku # 49663 May 9, 2013 9:01 am ET
by Japanese culture terror attack wasabi bomb.
well we watch anime
read manga, practice zen, play
nintendo, and drive

subarus whilst we
eat sushi, giant robots
manga my sensei
Haiku # 49662 May 9, 2013 1:11 am ET
by vhs of somewhere near lynn minmei
gaijin poetry
pirated from nippon, sure
but who won the war ?
Haiku # 49661 May 8, 2013 8:16 pm ET
by ash
:)

and the book on my
desk is about marquis de
sade, boring really

have more fun watching anthony
bourdain going places, he's cool
Haiku # 49660 May 8, 2013 11:43 am ET
by vhs
Sudoku, haiku,
sushi, bizarre fetishes...
I am Japanese!
Haiku # 49659 May 8, 2013 7:32 am ET
by evi1 - a novel about you of Guam
password codes causing
fetishes? and I thought girls
wearing rubber...well...
Haiku # 49658 May 8, 2013 12:55 am ET
by vhs
can't ya spare a few?
at least you'll be off your knees
and free of Mrs.
Haiku # 49657 May 7, 2013 10:27 pm ET
by Lush
fetishes abound
identify the sources
and miss orgasms
Haiku # 49656 May 7, 2013 10:26 pm ET
by Lush
resume prurience
my van is luxuriant
care to step inside?
Haiku # 49655 May 7, 2013 10:24 pm ET
by Lush
I clamber right on
peripheral vision off
you cryptic dipshits
Haiku # 49654 May 7, 2013 10:22 pm ET
by Lush
captcha "codes" distract
sublimating my lewdness
into something else
Haiku # 49653 May 7, 2013 10:19 pm ET
by Lush
Effing Cut and paste doesn't work!

Lips Like Bombs

Morning hue on your face. Lips like bombs caressing mine to yours all things pass. Waiting by the tracks, you said "Meet me there".

Take me for a drive to somewhere I know not. Let the fear drain away. Breathed on by the mother you are mine alone.

Waiting by the house for what they said was mine. In the end we all die.
Haiku # 49652 May 7, 2013 2:40 pm ET
by Dr. Retrospectacle (Mick Whipple.)
Lips Like Bombs

Morning hue on your face. Lips like bombs caressing mine to yours all things pass. Waiting by the tracks. You said
Haiku # 49651 May 7, 2013 2:35 pm ET
by Dr. Retrospectacle
Lips Like Bombs

Morning hue on your face. Lips like bombs caressing mine to yours all things pass. Waiting by the tracks. You said
Haiku # 49650 May 7, 2013 2:34 pm ET
by Dr. Retrospectacle
My haiku's are weak
Some of them are very bleak
Few are very chic
Haiku # 49649 May 7, 2013 12:24 pm ET
by Shirley Smothers
although Nimoy said
he was not spock, yet he was
in two different books

raises his eyebrow
no I'm irish german, no
pointed ears, green blood
Haiku # 49648 May 6, 2013 11:39 pm ET
by vhs
well Leonard Cohen
is not Leonard Nimoy but
we could say jews, both

men, the poet is
Cohen, the writer, singer
logical no doubt
Haiku # 49647 May 6, 2013 11:38 pm ET
by vhs
I am not sure where
I heard the Gesture of those
people of vulcan

was the same gesture
made by rabbis on yom kippur
for their people's sins
Haiku # 49646 May 6, 2013 11:32 pm ET
by vhs
argue if you wish
but if the force is with you
live long and prosper
Haiku # 49645 May 6, 2013 8:16 pm ET
by ash
yeah vulcan turned
into a singularity
was not my style
Haiku # 49644 May 6, 2013 3:52 pm ET
by vhs
I smelled a horse fart.
Glorious reminiscing.
Galloping through grass.
Haiku # 49643 May 6, 2013 1:52 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Team doesn't matter.
Though the new stuff was ruined.
By J.J Abrams
Haiku # 49642 May 6, 2013 11:09 am ET
by Janis
so old or new star
trek, and why does it matter
if it does at all?
Haiku # 49641 May 6, 2013 11:08 am ET
by vhs
grits teeth...spoiled brats need
to sink or swim, because if
spoiled brats are in charge...

2008 all over again
Haiku # 49640 May 6, 2013 11:07 am ET
by vhs
I'm a homework whore.
I solve equations for cash.
Spoiled brats pass math.

A woman told me
that a foot is equal to
twenty-four inches.

Earth is very small.
I would like to see the stars.
To see new planets.
Haiku # 49639 May 6, 2013 11:00 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Yesterday is gone
Today is nearly over
Count your blessings dear
Haiku # 49638 May 5, 2013 11:22 pm ET
by JamieS
god damn, we can't be
cynical without some dumb
fuck with a cell phone

sharing the whole thing
like there's nothing private tell
facebook to fuck off
Haiku # 49637 May 5, 2013 9:33 pm ET
by vhs
sucide by cop
interesting concept, pain is
too much, he shoots you
Haiku # 49636 May 5, 2013 12:44 pm ET
by vhs