Please knock firm but soft....
Because everybody likes
Those soft firm knockers

Unexpected guest
Seventeen firm sexy knocks
I knew it was Darth

During the summer
the family enjoys fresh corn...

(Announcer, smiling)

Outhouse Gathering
Who lays claim to which rich manure?
They wipe with corn cobs

More Risky Business
Darth sliding in his undies
Old Time Rock and Roll

Moet and Chandon,
Veuve Clicquot, Dom Perignon,
All low-brow brands. Pop.

Stoof and moieties.
The beast lurks around the bend.
Inventing new facts.

Stoof and moieties.
The beast lurks around the bend.
Inventing new facts.

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russian bots really
actually are on here zo
haiku moscow mule?

Chimay, or may not...
it depends on what they've got
in Belgian bottle.

Heard he ran away
and joined a monastery
One that makes fine cheese

Misdiagnosis
You're not constipated, Darth.
Just filled with poems

This job is the shits
Caught him doing number two
Stuffing the drain up

I think I know him
Yeah, he disrobes completely
Stands on the fixture

Naked with long hair
Man pees into bathroom sink
Arbys Restaurant

fuck my government
i'd call them a piece of shit
but that demeans shit

Almost out of breath
Running to the cheeseburger
Feel my soft warm buns

Not-so-great Reset:
Dead souls and zombies get chipped
and then Christ returns

That pop-god Jacko:
Squealing, chirping, moonwalking,
Flinging his forelock...

Great pop-god Jacko:
Squealing, chirping, moonwalking,
Flinging that forelock...

That last haiku poem
hung in the air like a fart
from beyond the grave

Your cold rigid corpse
Face in a stupid grimace:
My greatest haiku.

Can deer smell ozone?
Why does the rain smell like fish?
What does Space smell like?

The Bad Haiku gland
is located up your ass
around the corner

Sid the Sloth is hot.
How can you not get turned on?
That furry hot ass!

Ice Age 1 and 2
were not bad. Quite Amusing.
But after that, no.

He watched her walk by
from the barber shop window.
What a set of gams!

Go to SuperCuts
Ask them for a butthole trim
Or get that shit waxed

17 feet tall
Programmed to cut the cheese
Here comes Limburger

Not programmed to lie
But had to check NOT A ROBOT
May have blown a fuse

17 feet tall
You won’t mistake me for him
By him I mean Darth

Human like robot
Go ahead, Press the button.
Cup hands, inhale fart.

That’s what you get when
you line the cage with bad haiku.
Cassowary Bird!

I bought a parrot.
But it died when I got home.
Deceased. No more. Dead.

Barbara Streisand.
Her nose has magic powers.
Boogers are diamonds.

Go buy a parrot.
Teach it to say vulgar things.
Give it to a zoo.

You want to see Greeks?
A caged death match with Yanni?
Want to smash plates, too?

I want to see geeks.
Caged death match with a chicken.
Take the kids to watch.

Yessah. Finestkind.
Them lobstahs taste wicked good.
Penobscot. Ayuh.

Get your Moxie up.
Take Coke from Doctor Pepper
Or Hunter Biden.

Your satisfaction
guaranteed at this website
Quality Haikus

Un monopolio:
Cuando los monos mandan
en monomundo.

i wonder if i
should get people from twitter
to come here to tell

me to fuck off

I did not know they
can tattoo in microfilm.
Do they use lasers?

Whatchoo talkin' 'bout?!
Who the hell eats "iced cream"?!
But ice cream is good.

Expensive abroad.
Ten dollars for a damn pint.
Not fucking joking!

I've seriously
cut back on my cheese intake.
No heart attacks, thanks.

winter is coming
and though you thought it was snow
it's really iced cream

The hieroglyphics
tattooed on the very tip
of Figpucker's cock

New Superheroes
Flying Firehosepenis Man
and his Dalmatian

Shoes in the doorway
Well it could be Grandma's dildoes
Broken hips for all!