I just use water.
But that's an old discussion.
TP's very bad.

In addition to killing trees, TP's also very costly for the sewage refineries to deal with. If we all used water it would save a lot of money and be better for the environment. And I suppose you can use owls if you don't like bidets or water ladles. Who could argue?... Get it?... "Who" As in "Who who who" from an owl. Oh, I am so witty. No really.
What is your favorite species of owl with which to clean your backside?
Do you reward it with live rodents afterwards?